tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-137183832011-04-22T11:33:14.835+08:00yet for now, let's just be happy... cheating our hearts and tricking our minds... in our hearts we love another... but let our minds never see our hearts... for it is only in those times do we feel finally free... feelings of guilt? probably...AJhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03423650476189484606noreply@blogger.comBlogger3531100tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13718383.post-9804225031708659132007-01-28T22:21:00.000+08:002007-01-28T22:24:26.266+08:00This blog will, for now or maybe forever, be left to hang as it is in the WWW because its owner has moved on to a higher place.<br />This chapter of her life is now closed.<br /><br />Thank you for visiting.<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/13718383-980422503170865913?l=ecstatic-euphoria.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>AJhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03423650476189484606noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13718383.post-1166979994123036972006-12-25T00:59:00.000+08:002006-12-25T01:06:34.470+08:00<span style="font-size:180%;"><span style="color:#ff0000;">M</span><span style="color:#009900;">ERRY</span> <span style="color:#009900;"><span style="color:#ff0000;">C</span>HRISTMAS</span>~!!</span><br /><span style="font-size:180%;"></span><br />i am glad the year's coming to an end... yet at the same time, many things have happened in my life... not all bad thou... there were good things too and i thank God for those times...<br /><br />wells, new year, new resolutions this time...<br /><br />grandpa's death anniversary is in a few days...<br />i still miss that old little bugger who's almost senile in so many ways...<br />i hope he's doing fine in heaven waiting for us...<br />=)<br />its comforting to know that he accepted Christ and was secured a ticket into heaven just before his demise...<br />i cant wait to see him in heaven again...<br /><br />wells, its mighty late and i gota go sleep...<br />if u guys want pictures of my bali trip, head on down to my LJ...<br />there's plenty there... =)<br /><br />oh, and also a resolution list for 2007... =)<br /><br />Sheep Sheep you...<br />night night everyone...<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />we're always caught in circles...<br />round and round and round...<br />don't u ever get sick of it?<br />don't u ever develop a phobia?<br />and STILL...<br />we're goin round and round and round...<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/13718383-116697999412303697?l=ecstatic-euphoria.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>AJhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03423650476189484606noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13718383.post-1166946739275797412006-12-24T15:51:00.000+08:002006-12-24T15:52:19.286+08:00i hope every one ('cept kuang-er and miss yellow) is duly satisfied that Danny DOES exist...<br />i know how its been so many years that i have always mentioned him but never gotten down to presenting him to anyone but it aint important right?<br />its not like as if he's my BF or anything...<br /><br />but i hope that since i have already asked him to show his face to most of my grps of frens, that it helps those people who think i am tryin to pull a fast one...<br />HE EXISTS~!!<br /><br />he's a classic gem tt i will keep for life...<br />but nah~ not BF material...<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/13718383-116694673927579741?l=ecstatic-euphoria.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>AJhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03423650476189484606noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13718383.post-1166703351511837952006-12-21T20:13:00.000+08:002006-12-21T20:15:51.526+08:00tired...<br />and pissed...<br /><br />dun make plans with me unless u intend to see it thru WITHOUT planning a thousand and one things to get in its way...<br />WTF~!<br />might as well dun bother right? such a waste of your time and mine...<br />sheesh~ not the first time and i hope it will be the last...<br /><br />chao chee bye~!<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/13718383-116670335151183795?l=ecstatic-euphoria.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>AJhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03423650476189484606noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13718383.post-1166072725460478562006-12-14T13:04:00.000+08:002006-12-14T13:05:25.476+08:00for camp.. =)<br />will be back soon...<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/13718383-116607272546047856?l=ecstatic-euphoria.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>AJhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03423650476189484606noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13718383.post-1165378384037548292006-12-06T11:53:00.000+08:002006-12-06T12:22:07.476+08:00so i was having a conversation with <span style="color:#66ff99;">someone</span> last night about <span style="color:#ff9966;">someone</span> when <span style="color:#66ff99;">someone</span> told me that <span style="color:#ff9966;">someone</span>'s private life details were juicy...<br />initially hesitant to tell me what the juicy privates were about,<span style="color:#66ff99;"> she</span> finally gave in after making me promise to never mention the juicy private details and if i absolutely had to, to make sure i dun ever mention names...<br /><br />**but i shall give u guys a hint later as to whose someone i am talking about...**<br /><br />so the juicy private details, which can also be classified as gossip went like this...<br /><br /><strong><u>BG info:</u></strong><br />i was talkin to <span style="color:#66ff99;">someone</span> about <span style="color:#66ff99;">someone</span>'s boss and that <span style="color:#66ff99;">someone</span> told me that that <span style="color:#ff9966;">someone</span>'s BF recieved an SMS from that <span style="color:#ff9966;">someone</span> that he couldnt understand cuz he doesnt know english to save his poor french life so <span style="color:#ff99ff;">he</span> got his fren to translate it for him... and <span style="color:#ff99ff;">his</span> <span style="color:#66ffff;">fren</span> told her, and a few others, what was in the SMS...<br /><br /><span style="color:#ff6666;">me: WHAT WHAT??? TELL ME~! WHAT ABOUT THE SMS?</span><br /><span style="color:#66ff99;">fren X: wells, it involved a banana, hot water and something else, i cant remember wat...</span><br /><span style="color:#ff6666;">me: huh?? wats so juicy about that? <em>(i very innocent one de okie~!!)</em></span><br /><span style="color:#66ff99;">fren: Aiyah~! <span style="color:#ff9966;">she </span>said in the SMS that <span style="color:#ff9966;">she</span> misses giving <span style="color:#ff99ff;">him</span> a blow job in the shower la~!!!!</span><br /><span style="color:#ff6666;">me: WHAT~!???~?! <span style="color:#ff9966;">SOMEONE</span>?~!?~!??~!(replaced her name for privacy issues) OMG~!! THAT IS DISGUSTING~!! GROSS~!! Y THE FARK WOULD <span style="color:#ff9966;">SHE</span> DO THAT?</span><br /><span style="color:#66ff99;">fren: aiyah... everyone is sexual being la...</span><br /><span style="color:#ff6666;">me: eh~! that is a lame excuse okie~! please la... sexual being my arse la...</span><br /><span style="color:#66ff99;">fren: wat?? its true wat...</span><br /><br />so yesh... that was the piece of juicy gossip...<br />and it was classified as gossip to me cuz<span style="color:#ff9966;"> someone</span> doesnt seem like the kind to jump into showers to blow french horns... <em>(lame pun intended~)</em><br /><br />HAHA~!<br />i am still smiling to myself tryin to imagine an ancient being drapped in brown rags humming opera songs to stimulate <span style="color:#ff99ff;">him </span>even further while being down there... HAHAHAHA~!!!<br /><br /><br />(now now someone,<span style="color:#ff9966;"> you</span><span style="color:#ff9966;"> </span>said i shouldn't mention names but <span style="color:#ff9966;">you</span> NEVER said anything about hinting~!! *Winks*)<br /><br />now, for more info, please refer to previous post for more info and hints...<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/13718383-116537838403754829?l=ecstatic-euphoria.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>AJhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03423650476189484606noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13718383.post-1165334851783160352006-12-06T00:02:00.000+08:002006-12-06T00:07:31.983+08:00JY is in love with her boss...<br />confirmed...<br />certified...<br />reason?<br />simple...<br /><br />me: <span style="color:#ff6666;">where u go just now?</span><br />JY: <span style="color:#66ff99;">who told u i go out?</span><br />me: <span style="color:#ff6666;">your brother la...</span><br />JY: <span style="color:#66ff99;">oh ya, i went joggin...</span><br />me: <span style="color:#ff6666;">joggin??? for wat?</span><br />JY: <span style="color:#66ff99;">cuz my boss said: "you are fat..."</span><br />me: <span style="color:#ff6666;">WA LAO... fadhil</span><span style="color:#ff6666;"> ask u to lose weight u dun want... then your boss say u fat only u go joggin... WTF MAN~!</span><br /><br />i told u right?<br />she likes him la...<br /><strong><span style="font-size:130%;color:#ff99ff;"><u>JY is in LOVE with her BOSS~!!!</u></span></strong><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/13718383-116533485178316035?l=ecstatic-euphoria.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>AJhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03423650476189484606noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13718383.post-1165211007910860492006-12-04T13:40:00.000+08:002006-12-04T13:43:27.950+08:00scooting off for a holiday this wed and wun be back till d 12th...<br />=)<br />BALI again~!<br /><br />but i hope to get some more shut eye and of course nice photos this time round IF i bother to charge the camera's batteries...<br />or mayb i'll just use no-rechargable ones...<br />see la...<br /><br />i have roaming~!!!<br />so SMS me to help me remember u guys still exist~!<br />whether i reply or not, now THAT is a different story~!<br /><br />so i love u guys...<br />take care while i am gone..<br />and stay strong cuz <strong><u><span style="color:#ff6666;">JESUS IS RIGHT BEHIND U~!!</span></u></strong><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/13718383-116521100791086049?l=ecstatic-euphoria.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>AJhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03423650476189484606noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13718383.post-1164952923120364922006-12-01T14:00:00.000+08:002006-12-01T14:02:03.133+08:00it just occured to me, this tot...<br />if we singaporeans go out to aussie or the US of A for 3 three years and come back "slanging" and "accenting" like no ones business in THEIR native accents and slangs, y dun the ang mohs, or hell, even the PRCs AND the india indians who study here for three years, some even more, go back to their native lands speaking singlish?~??<br /><br />does it mean we're too fake and constantly feel that our ang moh counterparts are better so if we speak like them it makes us sound smarter? <br />OR<br />does it mean that we singaporeans are so smart, we recreated and evolved and massacred the english language so bad it is beyond comprehension so thus also too hard to replicate?<br /><br />go figure...<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/13718383-116495292312036492?l=ecstatic-euphoria.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>AJhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03423650476189484606noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13718383.post-1164442516858886172006-11-25T16:01:00.000+08:002006-11-25T16:15:16.883+08:00the truth bethind y i left u was simple...<br /><br />i found out about all your lies...<br />from the beginning to the end, from the end back to the start...<br />as to y i didnt confront u?<br />simple..<br />wat use was there?<br />there was no point cuz i know u would just lie to me all over again and try to cover things up like u did before...<br /><br />i am not stupid mind u...<br />i try to act stupid but i am not...<br /><br />u should have just left things the way they were instead of sending me that email...<br />u should have just left things the way they were instead of callin me and askin me stupid things that u honestly, could have figured out for yourself...<br /><br />i am not goin to lie, i was disappointed with u and your lies...<br />i trusted u so much and yet u still lied thru your teeth like tt to me...<br />also despite u apaprently swearing upon your life tt u woujld never lie to me...<br />guess tt in itself was a lie too aye?<br /><br />if u were me, i bet u would feel as much disappointment as i do now...<br />and yes, somehow, a part of me doesnt want to see u again even if by chanced accident...<br />i hate people who lie to me...<br />at least dun let me find out that u lied...<br />and at the very least, if i did find out, give me the truth...<br />dun continue to lie to me to try to cover up the lie that was already told...<br />it doesnt do u good and neither does it do me any good...<br /><br />and dun forget, u got your job thru me...<br />and dun forget how much u owe me...<br />just live in the knowledge that someone out there cared about u alot once before...<br />and u lied to her... u sick conniving bastard~<br /><br />i could continute to stay about and be a sucker but nah...<br />i am done with acting stupid...<br />dun wana be lied to no more...<br />dun wana try no more...<br /><br />i figured u werent worth my time anymore...<br />but those months with u, minus the lying, were a fun few months...<br />thank u for healing my broken heart then...<br />but i am done with my fun usin u as a rebound...<br />so... u go have your fun now...<br /><br />i feel i am better off without u...<br />unless u can convince me otherwise tt is...<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/13718383-116444251685888617?l=ecstatic-euphoria.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>AJhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03423650476189484606noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13718383.post-1163936618283529292006-11-19T19:33:00.000+08:002006-11-19T19:43:38.360+08:00<strong><u>The Kaypoh Tag<br /></u></strong><br /><u>3 schools I went to:</u> PLMGPS, PLMGSS and Ngee Ann Poly<br /><br /><u>3 things in my handbag :</u> my zen nano, my make up pouch, my money pouch...<br /><br /><u>3 things i do when im stressed :</u> eat, talk to myself, sleep...<br /><br /><u>3 places i go to on a daily basis :</u> work, home, toilet<br /><br /><u>3 favourite fruits :</u> mangos, strawberries, durians~<br /><br /><u>3 names i go by :</u> aye, oei, audrey<br /><br /><u>3 of my fav food :</u> dark chocolates, tiramisu, cheese cake...<br /><br /><u>who is in the hse with me :</u> my mom, my youngest bro, my maid<br /><br /><u>who am i thinking of right now :</u> someone... cant reveal the identity of the person yet...<br /><br /><u>who did i last talk to on the phone :</u> hidayue<br /><br /><u>who do i wish i am with right now? :</u> hehe~ cant reveal the identity of the person...<br /><br /><u>who did i sit with during 5th period in class :</u> wat fifth period?<br /><br /><u>who was the last person i uttered love to :</u> isaac... my darling boy... =( i'll miss his little antics man...<br /><br /><u>who gets on my nerves most in school? :</u> some idiot called vas in my course who acts like she owns the world...<br /><br /><u>where is the last place i took a ride to? :</u> church to bukit gomback MRT station...<br /><br /><u>what was the last thing i ate? :</u> cheese cake~<br /><br /><u>what do i like most about school? :</u> my K2 class... and some of the colleagues...<br /><br /><u>what is my favourite colour? :</u> red and black<br /><br /><u>what was the last movie i watched? :</u> "the producers" again on VCD...<br /><br /><u>when did i start school? :</u> huh? jia lat... 1985? i think... or is it 1986?? duno man~<br /><br /><u>when did i last go to the mall? :</u> mall ah? hmm... this afternoon...<br /><br /><u>3 bloggers to do this :</u> JY? errs, who else is free ah? Pat and erm... whoever else la... LOL...<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/13718383-116393661828352929?l=ecstatic-euphoria.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>AJhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03423650476189484606noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13718383.post-1163684243574910742006-11-16T21:16:00.000+08:002006-11-16T21:40:31.486+08:00<strong><u>10 songs you've been listening a lot to lately:</u></strong><br />1. jay zhou's new album<br />2. some song in her computer<br />3. oceans will part<br />4. once again<br />5. HIM<br />6. aiyah... doest tt already consist of more than 10 songs???<br />7. death cab for cutie's marching bands of manhatten<br />8. almost here<br />9. kid's songs... thanks to work<br />10. chinese nonsense<br /><br /><strong><u>9 things you look forward to:</u></strong><br />1. loving<br />2. feeling loved<br />3. experiencing His infinite love<br />4. making lots of money<br />5. Good sex<br />6. phantom of the opera<br />7. more and more sleep<br />8. killin someone<br />9. becoming stone<br /><br /><u><strong>8 things you like to wear:</strong></u><br />1. thongs<br />2. g-strings<br />3. no bra<br />4. gothic<br />5. trimmed eyebrows<br />6. nail polish<br />7. light make up<br />8. a mysterious knowing smile on my face...<br /><br /><u><strong>7 things that annoy you:</strong></u><br />1. idiots who act smart ie. my boss<br />2. people who go to aussie/ USA/ england for one year and speak in an ang moh slang... dun tell me 1 year of accents managed to override your 20 years of singlish kkz... go and die la... so fake~<br />3. people who act like they own the world...<br />4. people who dun have brains of their own...<br />5. having ppl ask me to update them on how many ppl i have already dumped...<br />6. hearing my parent talk like they know everything<br />7. my ego...<br /><br /><u><strong>6 things you say most days:</strong></u><br />1. Wah Lau/ Kao... FARK LA~!<br />2. Chee bye<br />3. eh fark la<br />4. ni na beh chee bye... ask her go eat shit and die la...<br />5. Fark you la~!<br />6. Shuddup~!<br />[i just realized how vulgar i am... dammit~ need to change...]<br /><br /><u><strong>5 things you do everyday:<br /></strong></u>1. wake up, pee, brush teeth, take bath, go work...<br />2. snooze for one hour before doing the above...<br />3. scream and shout for more time...<br />4. gossip...<br />5. think about.................<br /><br /><u><strong>4 people you want to spend more time with:</strong></u><br />1. first spot would go to him... but haiZzzz<br />2. anna, hidayue, sophia, gill... my colleagues...<br />3. JY, the slut~<br />4. family<br /><br /><u><strong>3 movies you could watch over and over again:<br /></strong></u>1. pretty woman<br />2. final destination trilogy<br />3. sin city<br />[obviously many more others]<br /><br /><u><strong>2 of your favorite songs at the moment:</strong></u><br />1. Jay's songs<br />2. her playlist...<br />[tts more than two... but who cares?]<br /><br /><u><strong>1 person you could spend the rest of your life with:<br /></strong></u>1. heh... u and i know who so i shant say it...<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/13718383-116368424357491074?l=ecstatic-euphoria.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>AJhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03423650476189484606noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13718383.post-1163302898709598142006-11-12T11:29:00.000+08:002006-11-12T12:03:25.116+08:00time~!!!<br />i need more time~!!!<br />especially time to finish writing all my blasted observations and time to sleep...<br /><br />and i hate the fact that i have to work over time, in the form of goin back for concert rehearsals at 7.40am on a BLASTED FARKING SATURDAY morning and NOT get paid and i hate the fact that my sup was being an asshole when it came to giving out instructions that she NEVER gave before, and worse, being purposefully whiny about it that she did wen in actual fact she didnt...<br /><br />why does she have to compete with everyone? just because she wants to outdo everyone, she puts everyone out.. doesnt she realize that everyone is tryin also? but giving her stingy behaviour and crazy ass attitude, no wonder everyone is more inclined to slack than give of their best...<br /><br />shit~<br />watever... i have more observations to write and my blasted thumb is not helpin very much and ARGH~!!!<br /><br />STRESS~!!!!<br />i have an assignment due onthe 15th next week and guess wat?<br />i HAVENT even smelled the question papers~!<br />H-A-<br /><br />i wish i were a robot...<br />i'd plug myself into the socket so i wouldnt run out and i'd do everything at one shot...<br /><br />now all i need to do is wish...<br />coffee and milo combinations can only help so much ya know...<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/13718383-116330289870959814?l=ecstatic-euphoria.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>AJhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03423650476189484606noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13718383.post-1162908843339287922006-11-07T21:27:00.000+08:002006-11-07T22:17:09.816+08:00note: i am <strong><u>not</u></strong> tryin to defend him...<br />i am just asking valid questions...<br />if i offend anyone in the process, sorry...<br />my blog, my views... watever...<br />not happy, don't read... exit now...<br />++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++<br /><br />so Mr saddam hu -<em>killed-so-many-people-fair-and-square-during-war-and-is-goin-to-get-hanged-for-it-</em> ssein is gettin hanged for war crimes, during which he killed many innocent people...<br /><br />now, in the first place, y is he the only one being hanged?<br />shouldnt the blasted US pressie also get hanged cause <em>he ALSO </em>killed many innocent people during his so called pre-emptive action against iraq when they were supposedly hanging on to WMDs?<br /><br />so just because the US pressie is a <em>si beh tua kang</em> political figure and his nation is a super power, it means tt he can get away free? for ALSO doin the same thing saddam hu <em>-is-goin-to-die-by-hanging-</em> ssein did?<br />declare war and kill people in the process...<br /><br /><u>dun mind me but honestly, is it right that u kill someone to teach someone that killing is wrong?</u><br /><br />and worse, carryin out supposed pre-emptive action and come up with NOTHING to prove that what they did was justified...<br />"<em>just in case</em>" my arse <em>la</em>...<br />if your technology is so great that your blasted <em>atas</em> and <em>si beh kao</em> smart scientists can see thru to the inner most layers of the earth, i dun see y u cant use the same xray vision to scan iraq from outer space, take clear pictures FIRST then go into the country to source for it...<br />y go in and blindly and just whack where u can whack?<br /><br />if u, as the US are not happy that they crashed your twin towers, then just say that u are<em> buay song</em> and u want revenge <em>la</em>...<br />of course i care for those people who died in the twin towers incident... but if u wana seek revenge, please <em>la</em>, just say it for it is, dun try to twist and <em>hao lian</em> your <em>atas </em>english thinking the people from this part of the world cant see wat u are really tryin to do...<br /><br />and wat is the purpose of war in the first place?<br /><u>during war, people fight to conquer cuz they dun wana be conquered and casualities in the form of innocent people cant be avoided...</u><br /><br />and so y dun we blasted hell bomb the whole of japan away since they tortured so many countrys people all over asia?<br />oh wait, i forgot its cuz we are asian and we are not as <em>tua kang</em> as the US pressie... we canot <em>happy happy not happy any any how kill people one</em>...<br />cuz that equates to murder...<br /><br />in these parts of the world, if our state rules for an <em>ang moh</em> to be caned for vandalizing, just like everyone else who lives in this country, the <em>ang moh</em>'s country very <em>buay song one</em>... cuz we are not <em>tua enuff to any how any how whack their white skinned people</em>...<br />we are yellow skinned so we are unpure, tainted and unworthy to issue and carry out punishments like that...<br /><br />oh well...<br />to me, hanging/ death sentences are just to satisfy and placate the anger and hatred in the people who came away victims... the true test of humanity and real religious faith is learning to forgive the one who wronged u and punishing him/ her with compassion, the same kind of compassion he/ she lacked when the evil deed was done...<br /><br />to teach them that harming another person is not right and so that they would learn to develop a sense of guilt and remorse and hopefully, one day, come back and contribute back to society and re-pay the people whom he/she has hurt, by many folds more...<br /><br />as a christian state, they should always plead forgiveness for these people for in the bible, Jesus himself, after being tortured and mocked and crucified <strong>STILL</strong> asked God to forgive them for they knew not what they were doing. He showed what it was to love, to forgive to set free the captives from sin by dying on the cross so long ago...<br /><br />of course as human we will feel very <em>song song</em> if the people who did us wrong were punished, but is this how God wants us to live our lives?<br /><br />if we cant even follow his simple instructions to love and be Christ-like, how can it then be justified that we are given absolute power over someone else's life?<br />everyone is accountable to God, be it my Lord, God Jesus Christ or their own gods...<br />if they have sinned, they shall have to pay for it for the rest of eternity...<br /><br />so y take justice into our own hands?<br />if it is just to appease those who have come away as victims then those directions are not right to follow as we are doing nothing but doing what the devil wants us to do...<br />assume and pressume to own a life and take it away if he/ she did something bad...<br /><br />don't try to take God's place...<br />everything that is happening in the world now is punishments for the sins we have commited...<br />and by taking another person's life, we have flouted His commandment: <u><strong>thou shalt not kill</strong></u>... and as He has declared and so many already know, if u flout one, u have flouted <u>ALL</u> His commandments.<br />+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++<br /><br />my thoughts, my comments, think i dun make sense?<br />*Shrugz*<br />wells, one man's meat is another man's poison...<br />one man's dream is another man's nightmare...<br />think about it...<br /><br />Good night...<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/13718383-116290884333928792?l=ecstatic-euphoria.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>AJhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03423650476189484606noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13718383.post-1162205522136890972006-10-30T18:50:00.000+08:002006-10-30T18:52:02.156+08:00SO~!<br />i sat here the whole afternoon watching vids and TRYIN my hell best to fold the Kawasaki rose...<br />*Faints*<br /><br />its so complicated man~<br />i doubt i am goin to attempt it again any time soon...<br />but there is the result of my fist completed attempt after following <a href="http://danoftoasters.org/?sample=no&amp;page=3&catnum=2">this site</a> for instructions...<br /><br /><img style="WIDTH: 372px; HEIGHT: 277px" height="313" alt="" src="http://i60.photobucket.com/albums/h36/ajlestervan21/30-10-06_1817.jpg" width="407" /><br /><br /><img style="WIDTH: 373px; HEIGHT: 321px" height="378" alt="" src="http://i60.photobucket.com/albums/h36/ajlestervan21/30-10-06_1816.jpg" width="377" /><br /><br />so how? wat do u think? does it look thrashy?<br />i have a sneaky feeling i did some of the parts wrongly but Gah~<br />least it looks decent enuff to me...<br /><br />anyways, been two days since i last updated...<br />been hanging about doing quite a bit of stuff...<br />the weekend just disappeared into nothing...<br />sighZzz...<br /><br />rant~!<br />another assignment i have been procrastinating to do is goin to be due in 2 weeks...<br />someone shoot me already...<br />i hate essays...<br />gota do 2 of them~!!<br />Gah~!<br /><br />i am so goin to die from doin essays one day...<br />just u wait and see...<br />i will die from the stress of the looming deadlines...<br /><br />then again, i really shouldnt be ranting cuz if i were really that disciplined, i wouldnt spend the whole freaking afternoon tryin to do the above mentioned rose, but instead ,start reading for my essay...<br />i am such a doop...<br /><br />i'm so sick and tired of childcare...<br />i wana be a sales girl, or at least be in a job where i can meet people...<br />i am actually thinking of applying for a counselling job...<br /><br />but see, the irony of the whole damend thing is tt my own life in still neither here nor there and here i am tryin to attempt to help people..<br />such a contradiction...<br />but i do feel a personal sense of achievement when i speak to someone to share my views and opinions on how to handle their situations...<br />its not so much forcing them to take my advice, but knowing that i have already gave them more options than they have already thought of...<br />leaves them more leeway to get out of their problems...<br /><br />*Grumbles about my decisions*<br />okie, off to take a much needed shower...<br />me ish smelly welly...<br />me ish neech to taking a bath...<br />*GrinZzz*<br />Bye People~!<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/13718383-116220552213689097?l=ecstatic-euphoria.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>AJhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03423650476189484606noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13718383.post-1161934735264471632006-10-27T15:23:00.000+08:002006-10-27T15:38:55.276+08:00reuinions are bitter-sweet whether we wana admit it or not...<br />u either feel left out or welcomed...<br /><br />i felt kinda odd actually, about attending my fren's wedding...<br />not only because someone from my church just passed away and its really saddening cuz she's so young and have left behind two lovely teenage children and a loving husband...<br />i really hope the family pulls thru...<br />*SobsSss*<br /><br />i actually felt like cancelling on the wedding...<br />but i made danny dear make a decision cuz he was goin with me anyways, and topped with the fact i couldnt really decide...<br />but also cuz he was goin to be the one doing the driving from hougang to west coast back to orchard and after tt, backwards to send me home...<br />and he decided to take me...<br />so we went and i was gettin all jittery and such while waiting for him and on the <br />way there...<br /><br />it felt a little odd at first but once the frens started coming in, everything was like it was 5/ 6 years ago...<br />everyone is mostly still the same innately, prettier and more dolled up at the very least...<br />and for the miniroty, WOW~! dramatic changes...<br /><br />we've had the geek and VERY holy one become players...<br />HAHA~! so funny and odd to hear the holy one swearing off the tip of her tongue like it was such a natural thing...<br />really caught me by surprise considering she was the one holy nut who used to turn around after hearing me say the words "fark" to give me a preachy leangthy speech on how God dislikes behaviour like that and how i am doing satan a big favour by spilling such vulgar words out like that...<br /><br />HAHA~! and the geek... WOW man... shocking to hear her little exploits...<br /><br />so, danny was obviously mistaken the whole night...<br />haha... with me having to keep repeating that he wasnt my BF and stuff like tt...<br />we DIDNT even act like a couple loh...<br />we did nothing but squabble and squabble like we always do...<br />it kinda odd anyways...<br />danny and i have been together 11 years~!!!<br />11 LOOOOOOOOOOOOooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooong years...<br />Gosh~! i feel old man~!<br />i am waiting for pictures now...<br />hopefully i will be able to get them asap...<br />i'll post...<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />and u:<br />take care...<br />my heart is cold and i need to let it thaw a while...<br />dun give up on me just yet...<br />or have u already?<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/13718383-116193473526447163?l=ecstatic-euphoria.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>AJhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03423650476189484606noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13718383.post-1161185752704878052006-10-18T23:34:00.000+08:002006-10-18T23:35:52.736+08:00He reminded me that my tears and fears were in vain cuz He is my Father in Heaven...<br /><br />and indeed, He is...<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />i've decided...<br />i'm giving up this life...<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/13718383-116118575270487805?l=ecstatic-euphoria.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>AJhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03423650476189484606noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13718383.post-1161095545017603522006-10-17T22:28:00.000+08:002006-10-17T22:32:25.036+08:00i am not running away <em>per se</em>...<br />i am just giving u your time out to do as u please...<br /><br />i admit i am tired...<br />and i feel cold, hard...<br />but i still love u... more than anyting else in the world...<br /><br />i just dun wana admit it...<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/13718383-116109554501760352?l=ecstatic-euphoria.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>AJhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03423650476189484606noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13718383.post-1160817829089656292006-10-14T17:21:00.000+08:002006-10-14T17:23:49.100+08:00i am still alive and will come back one day...<br />though i am feeling a little better now, i stil have alot on my mind..<br />for those linked up to my LJ, u can head down there for more stuff...<br />those that are here, wells, either u tag me for my LJ addy or u wait...<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />PS: i still love u...<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/13718383-116081782908965629?l=ecstatic-euphoria.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>AJhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03423650476189484606noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13718383.post-1160227097155231432006-10-07T21:14:00.000+08:002006-10-07T22:10:04.016+08:00i want the death note manga series...<br />i want~! i want~! i want~!!!<br />WANT~! WANT~! WANT~!<br /><br />*Whines like a baby~!*<br /><br /><a href="http://photobucket.com/" target="_blank"><img alt="Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting" src="http://i60.photobucket.com/albums/h36/ajlestervan21/deathnote.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><br />p/s: Thanks JY~!<br /><br />[EDIT]<br />btw, i know i am selfish and stupid at times and i am sorry...<br />i dun mean to be tt way, i just am, thou i also know it shouldnt be an excuse...<br />and i am sorry for not being mindful of the fact tt there are ppl out there who have fears different from mine...<br />i guess i am just me.<br />selfish and useless as a sponge...<br /><br />i'm sorry again..<br />[/EDIT]<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/13718383-116022709715523143?l=ecstatic-euphoria.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>AJhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03423650476189484606noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13718383.post-1160144159430591492006-10-06T22:11:00.000+08:002006-10-06T22:17:47.853+08:00am back in full force...<br />LOL~!<br />been flirting with a certain certain someone new...<br />haha~ female... *OopSie*<br /><br />hey, dun blame me man, i wanted to distance myself but i tot, why not?<br />i can have my fun and honestly, i have the most fun wen i do something like tt...<br />i'm not perfect, i have my quirks...<br />and this is one of them...<br /><br />and oh, oh, before i forget, i have a few recordings of my stupid sup giving her stupid speech in uber bad english, please tag, msn or sms me for a copy if u wana hear it for yourself and be convinced... i promise u will flip out from laughin too much...<br /><br />and i think i am falling sick again, the lump/growth in my throat is pissing me off again...<br />okie, i am off to entertain the guests~!!<br />=)<br /><br /><br />Happy lantern festival everyone~<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/13718383-116014415943059149?l=ecstatic-euphoria.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>AJhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03423650476189484606noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13718383.post-1160037377973283252006-10-05T16:34:00.000+08:002006-10-05T17:01:07.936+08:00i WANT to watch <a href="http://wwws.warnerbros.co.jp/deathnote/">Deathnote</a>~<br />who's in?<br /><br />and after watching the king and the clown, me fetish for boys who look like girls who look like boys is back~!!<br />LEE JUN KI is SO BLASTEDLY <s>HANDSOME~!</s> <s>PRETTY~!</s> <s>HANDSOME~!</s> <s>PRETTY~!!</s> <strong><u>HANDSOMELY PRETTY~!!!</u></strong><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/13718383-116003737797328325?l=ecstatic-euphoria.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>AJhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03423650476189484606noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13718383.post-1159775518591521242006-10-02T15:47:00.000+08:002006-10-02T15:51:58.606+08:00<span style="color:#ff6666;">Dear Hell's Angel,</span><br /><span style="color:#ff6666;"></span><br /><span style="color:#ff6666;">i love u...</span><br /><span style="color:#ff6666;"></span><br /><span style="color:#ff6666;">sorry for my attitude on MSN, i guess i just wasnt in the most fabulous of moods...</span><br /><span style="color:#ff6666;">and for all the times u smacked me, tt was my revenge... </span><br /><span style="color:#ff6666;"></span><br /><span style="color:#ff6666;">nah~ actually, i was just really phased out, and the last thing i needed was to hear another story about who ever from u...</span><br /><span style="color:#ff6666;">sorry...</span><br /><span style="color:#ff6666;"></span><br /><span style="color:#ff6666;">i am still in a bad mood, but i am tryin to lighten up...</span><br /><span style="color:#ff6666;"></span><br /><span style="color:#ff6666;">i still love u... as much as i did the first day...</span><br /><span style="color:#ff6666;">and until the last second that i breathe...</span><br /><span style="color:#ff6666;"></span><br /><span style="color:#ff6666;"></span><br /><span style="color:#ff6666;"></span><br /><span style="color:#ff6666;">love, </span><br /><span style="color:#ff6666;">me...</span><br /><span style="color:#ff6666;"></span><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/13718383-115977551859152124?l=ecstatic-euphoria.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>AJhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03423650476189484606noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13718383.post-1159704514365048122006-10-01T20:02:00.000+08:002006-10-01T20:08:34.390+08:00<a href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/1807/188/1600/01-10-06_1947.jpg"><img style="CURSOR: hand" height="240" alt="" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/1807/188/320/01-10-06_1947.jpg" width="314" border="0" /></a> i sure as hell wonder wat she was thinkin when she got me this pink poodle who wears a silver bow tie on her head from mini toons...<br />WTF~! pink?<br />if she werent my grandma, i would die...<br />but since she's my grandma and i love her till the cows come home, the pink thing is gona hang on my handphone no matter how gay i am gonna look...<br />*gets down on knees to pray*<br /><br /><br />and this cat is SHO CUTE~!!!!!!!!!!!<br /><a href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/1807/188/1600/cookoe.jpg"><img style="CURSOR: hand" alt="" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/1807/188/320/cookoe.jpg" border="0" /></a><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/13718383-115970451436504812?l=ecstatic-euphoria.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>AJhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03423650476189484606noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13718383.post-1159689566998438152006-10-01T15:45:00.000+08:002006-10-01T15:59:27.013+08:00sorrow drips into your heart thru a pin hole,<br />just like a faucet that leaks there is comfort in the sound.<br />but while u debate half empty or half full, <br />it slowly rises your love is gonna drown...<br /><br />your love is gonna drown...<br />your love is gonna drown...<br />your love is gonna drown...<br />your love is gonna drown...<br />your love is gonna drown...<br />your love is gonna drown...<br />your love is gonna drown...<br />your love is gonna drown...<br />your love is gonna drown...<br />your love is gonna drown...<br />+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++=<br /><br />and darned rite it will drown...<br />i am sick and tired...[EDIT]<br />+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++=<br /><br />sorry for my absence, i have taken ill...<br />sick to the bone if u could call it that...<br />felt like total and utter crap on saturday, skipped school but still went for church... then got home, popped three panadol tablets, caught forty winks (literally), then scooted off for daddy's birthday dinner...<br /><br />i feel better now, thou still sick, i am thinkin of chopping my locks off...<br />but i duno if i can take it...<br />i love my long hair...<br />+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++=<br />[/EDIT]<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/13718383-115968956699843815?l=ecstatic-euphoria.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>AJhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03423650476189484606noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13718383.post-1159431195178978532006-09-28T16:10:00.000+08:002006-09-28T16:15:03.916+08:00<object width="425" height="350"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/udOBPEohuvY"></param><param name="wmode" value="transparent"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/udOBPEohuvY" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" wmode="transparent" width="425" height="350"></embed></object><br /><br />i love x-japan and this is one of my all time fav from them...<br /><br />its sad hide had to pass..<br />he was brillaint~<br />=(<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/13718383-115943119517897853?l=ecstatic-euphoria.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>AJhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03423650476189484606noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13718383.post-1159334554057088522006-09-27T13:21:00.000+08:002006-09-27T16:49:42.803+08:00<p><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/-7dQKluZTaY" width="425" height="350" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" wmode="transparent"></embed><br /><br />and this is one of the songs tt kept me company during the writing of my 4000 word essay...</p><p></p><p>i love my Jay Chou~!!</p><p></p><p><br /></p><p><br />wells, i am officially done with my 4000 words essay...<br />and forgive me for my lack of brain matter now but the essay really squeezed me dry of any other form of knowledge cept for neurosciences and early childhood education...<br /><br />then again, mentioning that was not the purpose of editing this blog entry...<br /><br />my purpose, is to actually highlight the oddness of parents...<br />not all parents but most parents in general..<br />i am not out to judge... i am just pondering the hows and whys of parenting (and obviously hopin i NEVER make the same mistakes IF i should ever decide to settle down and let some guy inseminate me)...<br /><br />so, wells, this transpired between me, my brother, my dad and uncles stephen from church... it went like this:<br /><br />uncle stephen: <span style="color:#66ff99;">-talking to both my brother and i- so where are u guys headed now? -looking to me- goin out to meet boyfriend ah?<br /></span>me and my brother: <span style="color:#9999ff;">no ah...</span><br />uncle stephen: <span style="color:#66ff99;">-turning to my dad and sayin in a jesting tone- aye, dun always control your children too much la, give them some freedom... let them go out, have fun...</span></p><p>now, u must be wondering y that should cause any form of questioning on my part aye? he is afterall advocating our freedom and helpin us to fight for our rights as children who are old enuff to explore the world, to be let loose from those chains..<br /><br />now, dun get me wrong, i get all the freedom i want... at least i would presume.. there are still some stuff tt i cant do la, but tt story is for another day when i get my request rejected...<br />wat puzzled me thou, was the fact that it was uncle stephen who said it...<br />cuz according to his daughter... he AND his wife are quite strict when it comes to freedom... they reign in their children like babies and let them out only IF they promise to adhere by cinderella type rules...<br /><br />i might be over playing it but u get the point...<br />its odd how parents say one thing but do the opposite...</p><p>and make no mistake, my parents are NOT the saints u see in church... mom and dad alike... mom is every bit the hitler incarnate at home, as with my dad... oh yeah, of course we do share our nice sweet loving funny moments but when war starts it starts... it sucks to have to have her say one ting outside and do something else altogether behind closed doors...<br /><br />how the fark can she tell me not to gossip about my friends (whom by the way know i gossip about them cuz they gossip about me too but we're all still frens cuz we have no qualms gossipin about them even in their faces "JY, U STINK~!!")...<br />our dear saint alice gossips about her sister AND sister in law AND brother too wat...<br />they always say, lead by example...</p><p>with examples like tt for me to follow, what kinda moral standards do u expect ME to have...<br />but let me caution u once again, make no mistake... i know my "P"s and "Q"s and i KNOW how to respect older people, and i am nice... basically, i try to go out of my way to help those ard me who need help...<br />i might be caustic with my remarks and i bitch about people but come on, a lass, no matter how vile her tongue, is still a lass at heart...<br /><br />back to parents...<br />and so my dad, another classic example of childishness...<br />and if u wondering where i got my childishness from? dun bother wondering anymore... it was from him...<br />i got HELL irritated with him when he started tryin to force the door open at the lobby downstairs and proceeding to shout at my mom for her apparent stupidity at not being able to tap the card correctly to open the door, and making her walk back again to tap the card once more when HE has a card of his own~!<br /><br />OH COME THE ON FARK~! if she cant open it, u can open it too~! are u, like the phrases u love using, "handicapped", "stupid", "incapable of simple stuff like that"???<br />u see, even i got irritated cuz i felt the behaviour, especially the door forcing, was uncalled for.<br />u are a 50 year old man, goin on 51, is it so difficult to take out your wallet from your pant pocket to tap it so the door would open? it would save u the energy of having to pull at the door like tt and making your wife walk back to open the door for u rite?</p><p>and speaking about ungentlemanly behaviour, he NEVER lifts a finger to help with the grocery carrying UNLESS there is really no one else who can carry the last plastic bag... yeah, tt is my father for u... and no, my mom IS the one who pays the grocery bills...<br /><br />i find it hell sick to see my mom and maid carryin EVERYTING UP and having to TAP the blasted card on the door to get it to open...<br />wat the fark is wrong with helping huh?~!<br /><br />watching their quirks growing up, i am starting to wonder if i am goin to grow up to BE them one day... it irks me badly... i dun wana grow up, dun wana get married incase i get married to a guy like tt...<br /><br />my parents are humourous and generous but ttz about all i can say that are their saving graces...<br />and dun get me wrong either, i LOVE-HATE them to bits... i duno wat i'd do without them... i just dun wana BE them...<br /></p><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/13718383-115933455405708852?l=ecstatic-euphoria.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>AJhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03423650476189484606noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13718383.post-1159278699160793712006-09-26T21:50:00.000+08:002006-09-27T00:11:27.960+08:00[EDIT]<br />i am finally done~ i am now in the editing process...<br />KAN NI NA BU CHAL CHEE BYE~!!!<br />NEXT TIME REMIND ME TO START EARLIER PLEASE~!!!<br />GAH~!<br /><br />BLASTED HEADACHE~!<br />[/EDIT]<br /><br /><br />i am suffering serious writer's block.. there is only that much i can bull shit about how neurosciences affects the work of early childhood educators...<br />there is so little evidence to support anything cept the same few animal studies over and over again and the same few examples of how complex environments are better than enriched environments...<br />and no, thou they might sound like the same thing, they are two different environments...<br />one being almost sterile, and the other, more interactive...<br /><br />argh~!!!<br />i am dyng....<br />there is so much to do, so little to say...<br /><br />and to make it worse, my mom is tryin to piss me off, with her "holier- than- thou- art" notions and ideals again..<br />fancy callin me ungrateful~!<br />WTF~!<br /><br />try mulling over a 4000 word essay for a few days and STILL not bein able to finish it and having some idiot TRYIN TO GAIN sympathy from u~!!<br />FARK~!<br />i am NOT feeling well too...<br />and do i get even a question of care?<br />NO~!<br />Instead i have to listen to her pathetic ranting about her supposed MIGRAINE~!<br /><br />and for someone who insists EVERY DINNER TIME that she cant digest her food with the TV's volume on, she is<u><strong> happily chowing down her food with the TV's volume at full blast now</strong></u>...<br />other times, when we are out there watching TV with the volume on, she gags, claims she has a headache cuz the TV's volume is on and yada- yada watever shit u can think of...<br />nonsense i tell u...<br />UBER NONSENSE~!<br /><br />u want pity, ASK, dun PRETEND~!<br />cuz u get caught while pretending...<br />and worse, dun lie about it cuz anyone can catch u wen i lie...<br /><br />watever, she is queen, i cant do anything about it..<br />i am under her mercy and i cant complain or i shall have to have my head chopped off for being <em>ungrateful</em>...<br /><br />my legs are ungrateful too cuz they are starting to protest against me sitting cross legged too long...<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/13718383-115927869916079371?l=ecstatic-euphoria.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>AJhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03423650476189484606noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13718383.post-1159194413879273092006-09-25T22:24:00.000+08:002006-09-25T22:26:53.896+08:00i am finally off medication...<br />no more popping of pills every night just to get to slp...<br />no more popping pills to ease the stuffiness...<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />i wish i could take a medicine to stop this heart from feeling stuffy too...<br />i wish i could slash away the pain...<br /><br /><br />eye mish yew...<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/13718383-115919441387927309?l=ecstatic-euphoria.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>AJhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03423650476189484606noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13718383.post-1159165086884818032006-09-25T14:12:00.000+08:002006-09-25T16:24:01.856+08:00<span style="font-family:arial;"><span style="font-size:100%;">[Edit]<br />The splendor of a King, clothed in majesty<br />Let all the earth rejoice<br />All the earth rejoice<br /><br />He wraps himself in Light, and darkness tries to hide<br />And trembles at His voice<br />Trembles at His voice<br /><br />How great is our God, sing with me<br />How great is our God, and all will see<br />How great, how great is our God<br /><br />Age to age He stands<br />And time is in His hands<br />Beginning and the end<br />Beginning and the end<br /><br />The Godhead Three in One<br />Father Spirit Son<br />The Lion and the Lamb<br />The Lion and the Lamb<br /><br />Name above all names<br />Worthy of all praise<br />My heart will sing<br />How great is our God<br /><br />How great is our God, sing with me<br />How great is our God, and all will see<br />How great, how great is our God<br />============================================<br /><br />how great He is indeed...<br /><br />Dear God,<br />remind me again of the reasons u have brought me here, back to your holy temple, to worship once more your name, to speak your name like the blood that flows thru my veins...<br />remind me again why i have come back to the heart of worship and why i have chosen to heed your instructions once more.<br /><br />remind me of the purpose u have for my life tt is ahead of me as U know Your plans for me, to help me to achieve a hope and a future, to help me to find my way into Your kingdom when all comes to pass and this beating heart of mine ceases to physically hum your tunes anymore...<br /><br />prepare my spirit to once again be close to u, to once more walk with u hand in hand along the shore with no more lonely, burdened heart.<br />Lord, grant me the wisdom that u know i am capapble of having. Lord, grant me a heart that loves, a heart that beats for You and only You for u are the Lord of everything on earth and above.<br /><br />open the eyes of my heart once again Lord, that i might be able to seek u in the darkness and to follow your light into your peace again Lord, that everything that i say and do might be pleasing to your sight. bestow upon me once again the blessings u gave to me before i strayed...<br /><br />i love You Lord and throughout all these years Lord, i want to thank you for always being close to me, reminding me of your great power over everything and for always giving me reason after reason to keep believing that u STILL LOVE ME~!<br /><br />BECAUSE I AM YOUR CHILD...<br />A CHILD OF GOD...<br /><br />to those who believe in Him, he gave the right to be called Children of God.<br />i love u Lord.<br />with all my heart and soul, all my mind...<br />and to u, i surrender again...<br /></span><br /></span><p><span style="font-size:100%;"></span></p><p><span style="font-family:arial;font-size:100%;">and once again i look upon the cross where u died<br />i'm humbled by your mercy and i'm broken inside<br />and once again i thank You<br />once again i pour out my ife...<br /><br /></span><span style="font-family:arial;"><span style="font-size:100%;">Amen<br /></span><br /></span></p><p><span style="font-family:arial;font-size:100%;">How great is our God, sing with me<br /></span><span style="font-family:arial;font-size:100%;">How great is our God, and all will see<br />How great, how great is our God<br /></span><span style="font-family:arial;font-size:100%;">[/Edit]<br /><br /><br /><br />Now, it is 2 pm...<br />i will start my work at 3 pm...<br /><br />and from now till 3 pm, i will slack, take my lunch, change out of my work clothes, catch 400 winks<s>, and play with myself</s>...<br /><br />i am tired, i have all the info in my head but i cant seem to get it all down in words on computer...<br />my fingers are not cooperating entirely with my hands, who are also not cooperating with my brains...<br />my hand- eye coordination is almost completely off and no matter how i psyche myself up, i cant seem to be able to make much sense of everything now...<br /><br />i can feel myself falling...<br />but because i am resisting the feeling, my heart is slowly shutting down...<br />and i dun want my heart to shut down...<br />the last thing i want, is for my heart to die...<br /><br />so much to say to u, ya know...<br />SO DARNED FARKING much...<br />but i am not goin to call u nor sms u...<br />i dun wana take up your precious time away from...<br /><br />i cant say it... </span></p><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/13718383-115916508688481803?l=ecstatic-euphoria.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>AJhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03423650476189484606noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13718383.post-1159100090064335482006-09-24T20:08:00.000+08:002006-09-24T23:13:06.506+08:00doing my essay now, which is due in about two days...<br />3500 more words to go...<br />yet quite oddly, i am not feeling jitterish yet...<br />might also explain y i am stil here bloggin instead of gettin on with my work.<br /><br /><strong><u>randomness:</u></strong><br /><br />i cant say i am still pissed at my sup for being stupid but i AM ready for a showdown if it ever comes to that. i ALMOST sent out an email to my boss, but i decided not to after thinkin about the implications, not myself mind you, my other colleagues... I can afford to offend those bias ass licking people, but my colleagues cant...<br /><br />hmm, wells, moving on, i am waiting for the last episode of OuRan to be loaded onto youtube... ARGHHhhh~!!! canot wait man~<br /><br />oh, and children's day is coming... so exciting~! i have 4 days of holiday man~! YahOOOOooo...<br /><br />hmm, i just found out that his mom is taking a turn for the worse... HaiXxx, i wana like go up to him to hug him but it seems so inappropriate..<br /><br />wells, dinner now, and more work later...<br /><br />seeya guys soon...<br /><br />and wells, honestly, i have adopted a <em>couldnt- care- less- attitude</em>... i feel it helps me to overcome my emotions better... i dun care liaoz... really...<br /><br />[Edit]<br />i am still not gettin on with my work...<br />instead, i ended up snooping about...<br /><br />i didnt need to find it, i really didnt need to..<br />i didnt want to either...<br />or did i?<br /><br />and now guilt overwhelms me and i feel guilty...<br />guilty cuz now i know more than i should and i know i shouldnt know more than i should...<br /><br /><em><span style="font-size:85%;">i hope your mom gets better soon... =(</span></em><br /><br />[/Edit]<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/13718383-115910009006433548?l=ecstatic-euphoria.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>AJhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03423650476189484606noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13718383.post-1159018235363965232006-09-23T21:29:00.000+08:002006-09-23T21:30:35.386+08:00got chio bu~!<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />BUT~!!!!!!<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />i dun dare to talk to her~!!!!!<br />DAMNED~!!!!<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/13718383-115901823536396523?l=ecstatic-euphoria.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>AJhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03423650476189484606noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13718383.post-1158753594750285442006-09-20T19:38:00.000+08:002006-09-20T20:02:52.753+08:00Before i start, let me just say one thing...<br />there's no two ways about it...<br />i cant help it if my sup is stupid, she just has to live with it...<br />i cant help it tt she shot herself in the foot AGAIN, when she told someone she wasnt a hypocrite, and the next did something to PROVE she IS a hypocrite...<br /><br /><em>cue: play sad pathetic music again for following speech</em><br /><br /><span style="color:#66ff99;">Sup: Blah Blah Blah, Woe is me cuz audrey doesnt respect me..... I AM NOT A HYPOCRITE~! blAH blah BlAh, who does she think Hidayue is? her supervisor? her principal? y must she talk to her? *bangs table* I am her principal, she should talk to....</span><br /><br /><em>cue: stop music</em><br /><strong>-Hidayue walks into room-</strong><br /><span style="color:#9999ff;">hidayue: sorry, i need paper... </span><br /><span style="color:#9999ff;"><br /></span><em>cue: play sad pathetic music again for follwing speech</em><br /><span style="color:#66ff99;">Sup: *changing topics* so u see ah, when it comes to work ettiquette, we need to dress well to create and impression for parents to see......</span><br /><br /><em>cue: stop music abruptly</em><br /><em>cue: Bang chinese gong very loudly</em><br /><br /><span style="color:#ff99ff;"></span><span style="color:#ff99ff;">colleague: WTF~!! and she JUST told me she WASNT a hypocrite~!!!<br />now i see it for myself how hypocritical she can be......</span><br />==================================================================<br /><br />u see???<br />i am not bulling when i say she is stupid???<br />how the fark can u shoot yourself in the foot like tt and PRETEND like u are so innocent and claim u are the type who "<span style="color:#66ff99;">forgive and forget</span>"~!!!!<br /><br />PUI PUI PUI~!!<br />*proceeds to eat a ton of pork*<br /><strong><span style="font-size:180%;color:#ff6666;">eXcuSe me for my DISrespect but PLEASE LET ME HURL <span style="color:#ff0000;">BLOOD </span>IN HER GENERAL DIRECTION~!!</span></strong><br /><br />even my asshole can fart better lies than her mouth~!!!<br />PUI~!!!<br />+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++<br /><br />anyways, moving on...<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><a href="http://www.motorola.com/mot/image/14/14837_MotImage.gif"><img style="WIDTH: 200px; CURSOR: hand" alt="" src="http://www.motorola.com/mot/image/14/14837_MotImage.gif" border="0" /></a> <a href="http://www.motorola.com/mot/image/14/14828_MotImage.jpg"><img style="WIDTH: 173px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 400px" height="390" alt="" src="http://www.motorola.com/mot/image/14/14828_MotImage.jpg" border="0" /></a> <a href="http://www.motorola.com/mot/image/14/14823_MotImage.jpg"><img style="WIDTH: 160px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 390px" height="384" alt="" src="http://www.motorola.com/mot/image/14/14823_MotImage.jpg" border="0" /></a> <a href="http://www.motorola.com/mot/image/14/14820_MotImage.jpg"><img style="WIDTH: 164px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 363px" height="368" alt="" src="http://www.motorola.com/mot/image/14/14820_MotImage.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><strong><span style="font-size:130%;color:#ff6666;">i covert this phone~!!! the motorola rizr~!!! i saw someone using it the other day and i covert it~!!! covert it~!!! i WANT IT~!!! I WANT IT~!!!! so pretty, so red, so lovely, so sexy~!!!!</span></strong><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/13718383-115875359475028544?l=ecstatic-euphoria.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>AJhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03423650476189484606noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13718383.post-1158654152490085042006-09-19T15:29:00.000+08:002006-09-19T16:22:32.660+08:00i hated working under mrs cheong cuz she micro-managed and dictated everything i did...<br />and now, my current sup is back to her old ways again...<br />when i worked with her previously, i tot she was bad, now, she's worse~!<br />brainless hypocritical backstabbing bitch...<br /><br />the way she twists stories really piss me off cuz its so apparent its fake...<br />how the fark can u twist a story that was over heard by two OTHER people in the same room????<br />u are shooting your sorry arse over and over again with every lie tt u concote cuz these are the EXACT two same people who witnessed the scenario...<br /><br />and wat is with the sob story about me using hidayue's name?<br />all i said was: <span style="color:#ff6666;">"i discussed it with hidayue" </span>repeatedly ON the same point, but only because stupid people take a longer time to process information like that...<br />then she conviniently stomped out after i left her office to "confide" in the aunties... and in a spiteful manner, nontheless, she said: <span style="color:#66ff99;">"why she discuss with hidayue? who is hidayue? her consultant? supervisor? principal?? <strong><u><em>I</em></u></strong> am the principal, she should talk to me..."<br /></span>her statement above so obviously drippin with sarcasm...<br />and then, she CLAIMEDshe questioned me about talking to hidayue... but because the auntie's heard everything, they KNEW she was lying and tryin to seek pity from them...<br /><br />so, after the auntie told us about it, my STUPID BRAINLESS sup asked to speak to hidayue and my STUPID BRAINLESS sup came up with a cock story sayin that she doesnt like teachers to use her name and BLah blaAH blah nonsense nonsense rubbish rubbish i- pity-you-cuz-audrey-used-your-name nonsense...<br />and because hidayue already heard wat she said from the aunties, she just gave my sup the <em>watever-la</em> look and walked off...<br /><br />OMFG, i have never seen such a stupid brainless conniving bitch before, wana lie also lie so u wun be found out la... CHAO CHEE BYE~! its like gettin caught red handed for stealing WITH TWO WITNESSES and sayin that u are just slipping it into your bag cuz u've too many thing to carry...<br /><br />STUPID~! DOWNRIGHT STUPID~!<br />BLOODY INSOLENT FOOL~!<br /><br />i almost threw a table/ chair at her for being stupid and brainless... if my kid wasnt in the room with us i would have shut the door and hollered about her~!<br /><br />and if u are wondering how it started, simple...<br />she told us all to do up the corners by wednesday...<br />so i initially decided to do a fish store, but decided to thrash the idea after hidayue mentioned it would be messy and the poor fishes would suffer, so she gave me some ideas and i leeched on one of the ideas she suggested, which was to do a clothing store cuz our <strong><u>current theme</u></strong>, is on money and primary school...<br /><br />so there i was, draggin everything from the office to my room in HER PLIAN VIEW... and only AFTER i finished draggin everything, did she ask y i was draggin all the stuff to my rooom... i explained that i was goin to do a clothing store, and then futher adding to the children's play, gives allowance for more creativity and yada-yada IN ADDITION to the materials ALREADY available in the corner presently which were on the underwater theme...<br /><br />and THAT STUPID BITCH started to say the clothes were not suitable for underwater world theme which happens in the LAST QUATER of the year~!!!<br /><br />so i told her tt i would be adding more stuff, like i already discussed with hidayue, so she needn't worry about that... but she was adamant and asked me to remove all the clothing unless it was related to the theme underwater world...<br /><br />so then i refused to, and questioned her on her logic... then came her very fanciful rebuttal speech full of ironies and bad english... and in one part, she said:<br /><br /><span style="color:#66ff99;">"u see, i am very flexible, i give my teachers a choice of the two themes, to choose either one and to do up the corner very well. so u dun need to change change, so leh ceh..."</span><br /><br />so okie, IF i have a choice, i CHOOSE to do money wat~!!! SO WAT IS WRONG WITH THAT~!??? KAN NI NAH BU CHAO CHEE BYE~!!!!<br /><br />oh god, every day and minute tt i spend working with her, i feel so smart i would automatically qualify myself for mensa...<br />i feel so smart my head pratically bloats with smartness i cant walk thru the door...<br /><br />i feel so smart and angry at her stupidity that i wana pull her by the tudung to the mosque so she can pray for her sinful tongue...<br />sheesh~!!!<br /><br />FOLLOW THEME MY ARSE~!!!<br />ANNA'S CLASSROOM DOESNT EVEN HAVE THE ROOT OF A BLOODY SEAWEED AND I HEAR NOTHING FROM THAT FOUL MOUTH OF YOURS!~~!<br />WAT THE FARK~!<br /><br />and on my citing assignments as an excuse...<br />my excuse is valid BECAUSE, unlike YOU, I DUN HAVE PEOPLE TO VET MY ASSIGNMENT FOR ME AND I DUN HAVE TIME TO DO IT AT WORK~!!! i dun sit in the bloody office typing out assignments DURING OFFICE HOURS like you... and i DUN have the luxury of having a qualified bachelor holder <strong><span style="font-size:130%;color:#ff6666;">(Ah -HEm~!!)</span></strong> vet my assignments for me... and WAT IS SO GREAT ABOUT YOUR paltry <span style="font-size:85%;"><strong>DIPLOMA</strong></span> COMPARED TO MY ATAS <strong><span style="font-size:130%;">DEGREE</span></strong>????<br /><br />HAHA~! u wana try to play games with me? CAN~! i play also loh~!!! u wana atas atas with me??? i SHOW U WAT IS ATAS~!!! I WILL LOOK THRU MY NOSTRIL HAIRS AT U~!<br /><br />imagine, she is so hypocritical that she was afraid tt i would share my previous experience with nis... my poly fren turned colleague... HAHA~!<br />i laugh in her face cuz she doesnt realize that everything she does and says goes around the centre like a wild bush fire...<br />we spread her nonsense about and EVERYONE KNOWS SHE IS SUCH...<br />i dun even need to tell nis anything and she ALREADY KNOWS~!!!<br /><br />aiyah, watever, i have ranted enuff...<br />i am pissed...<br />very very pissed~!!<br /><br /><br />++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++<br /><span style="color:#ff6666;">Dear Supervisor aka 631 block head (pun intended),<br /><br />i dun care who u are, if i feel u are being stupid, i wun be afraid to show my displeasure... i dun even care if u fire me on the spot cuz if u are stupid, i cant help it... the only way to make u feel better is if u fire someone as smart as me so u can feel better about yourself...<br /><br />some ppl (ie. YOU) just need the ego boost, unlike u, i am not hard up for a job, and unlike u, i am MORE QUALIFIED... i am an immediate threat to u cuz once i open my mouth, u are so dead... u are stupid and obnoxious, and to top it all off, u are about as dense as a petri dish...<br /><br />i am sorry u are such, NOT sorry for my attitude... i WILL continue to give u face ONLY because you are NOT the one paying me, Miss Cheah is... so for her sake, i will be nice cuz i have no personal vendetta with her...<br /><br />your MORE QUALIFIED AND ATAS staff,<br />Audrey Joey Teo...<br /><br />p/s: please forward a copy to Miss Cheah for her personal reference... i'd sure like to see the look on her face when she reads this... or are u too scared, or god forbid, to stupid to even know where the forward button is???</span><br />++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++<br /><br />to quote gillian: ......................... please la... she doesnt even know (how to use) microsoft word la, how she know how to do assignments~!?<br /><br />HAHAHAHAHAHA~! see??? CLASSIC CASE OF A STUPID YOUNG WOMAN IN THE IT AGE... if she were a gramma, i would forgive her for not knowing the basics of IT, but a young woman?? stupid and brainless, canot help it...<br />god gracefully blessed me with an extra share of brain cells but OBVIOUSLY forgot to bless her with any...<br />canot blame god also la, he must have figured she wouldnt use them anyways, so wat a waste of good brain cells right? might as well give someone more worthy...<br /><br /><br />okie, enuff ranting for real this time...<br />bye bye people...<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/13718383-115865415249008504?l=ecstatic-euphoria.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>AJhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03423650476189484606noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13718383.post-1158586085844358642006-09-18T21:07:00.000+08:002006-09-18T21:28:07.753+08:00choices...<br />choices...<br />choices...<br />weigh the pros and cons and MAKE A DECISION...<br /><br />a choice tt would make or break everything...<br />a choice tt would either be the straw tt breaks the camel's back or the grain of sand tt took its place...<br /><br />either way, i die...<br /><br /><br />a ton of bricks, a ton of feathers...<br />they both weigh the same..<br />which ever way, the burden is just as great...<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><span style="color:#ff6666;">Dear God,<br /><br />Grant me the Serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the Courage to change the things I can and the Wisdom to know the difference.<br /><br />Amen</span><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><em><span style="color:#ffff33;">sometimes i wana give up,<br />wana give in,<br />wana quit the fight...<br />then one look at u baby...<br />is all i ever need...<br />it's all that i ever need...</span></em><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/13718383-115858608584435864?l=ecstatic-euphoria.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>AJhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03423650476189484606noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13718383.post-1158507748167665312006-09-17T23:37:00.000+08:002006-09-17T23:42:28.186+08:00<object width="425" height="350"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/LJ4nqqj2hIM"></param><param name="wmode" value="transparent"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/LJ4nqqj2hIM" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" wmode="transparent" width="425" height="350"></embed></object><br /><br /><br /><br /><object width="425" height="350"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/Ht1pVA92N-M"></param><param name="wmode" value="transparent"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/Ht1pVA92N-M" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" wmode="transparent" width="425" height="350"></embed></object><br /><br /><br /><br />and just for laughs~<br />all cuz i need to "let loose"...<br /><object width="425" height="350"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/F3uhyMxw7rM"></param><param name="wmode" value="transparent"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/F3uhyMxw7rM" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" wmode="transparent" width="425" height="350"></embed></object><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/13718383-115850774816766531?l=ecstatic-euphoria.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>AJhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03423650476189484606noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13718383.post-1158332737617975912006-09-15T22:22:00.000+08:002006-09-16T22:33:20.566+08:00<a href="http://rds.yahoo.com/_ylt=A0Je5mwEvgpFahcB2Q.jzbkF;_ylu=X3oDMTA4NDgyNWN0BHNlYwNwcm9m/SIG=12nmgnr19/EXP=1158418308/**http://spc.fotologs.net/photo/12/26/1/bloody_heart/1131635598_f.jpg"><img style="WIDTH: 400px; CURSOR: hand" alt="" src="http://rds.yahoo.com/_ylt=A0Je5mwEvgpFahcB2Q.jzbkF;_ylu=X3oDMTA4NDgyNWN0BHNlYwNwcm9m/SIG=12nmgnr19/EXP=1158418308/**http%3a//spc.fotologs.net/photo/12/26/1/bloody_heart/1131635598_f.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><a href="http://rds.yahoo.com/_ylt=A0Je5mwEvgpFahcB2Q.jzbkF;_ylu=X3oDMTA4NDgyNWN0BHNlYwNwcm9m/SIG=12nmgnr19/EXP=1158418308/**http://spc.fotologs.net/photo/12/26/1/bloody_heart/1131635598_f.jpg"></a><em><span style="color:#ff6666;"><strong>i feel like hell in heaven,</strong></span></em><br /><em><span style="color:#ff6666;"><strong>and i feel like the sun in the dark...</strong></span></em><br /><em><span style="color:#ff6666;"><strong>the waters surround my body, cold, griping, strangling...</strong></span></em><br /><em><span style="color:#ff6666;"><strong>i do not struggle, not even a flinch nor a twitch...</strong></span></em><br /><em><span style="color:#ff6666;"><strong></strong></span></em><br /><em><span style="color:#ff6666;"><strong>i feel like a fish out of water,</strong></span></em><br /><em><span style="color:#ff6666;"><strong>and i feel like the skies on land...</strong></span></em><br /><em><span style="color:#ff6666;"><strong>the filthy air around me clogs my lungs, suffocating me, sucking me dry...</strong></span></em><br /><em><span style="color:#ff6666;"><strong>i do not fight for tt ounce of oxygen, i let myself go...</strong></span></em><br /><em><span style="color:#ff6666;"><strong></strong></span></em><br /><em><span style="color:#ff6666;"><strong>i give in to its grasp...</strong></span></em><br /><em><span style="color:#ff6666;"><strong>i give in to its aches...</strong></span></em><br /><em><span style="color:#ff6666;"><strong>i no longer possess the strength to keep fightin for something tt wasnt meant to be...</strong></span></em><br />=================================================================<br />[Edit]<br /><br />i havent done this in a long time... but wells, i take back wat i said...<br /><br />i cant forget you, i cant stop loving u, u can never give me a reason to stop...<br />even when my heart stops beating, i would still love u...<br />with every ounce of my strength, i will still love you...<br />no one can stop me if i myself dun wana stop...<br /><br /><br /><br />so yesh, i still love u.<br /><br />[/Edit]<br /><a href="http://rds.yahoo.com/_ylt=A0Je5x_AvQpFiQoATHajzbkF;_ylu=X3oDMTA4NDgyNWN0BHNlYwNwcm9m/SIG=12mu93ld7/EXP=1158418240/**http://img26.photobucket.com/albums/v77/drkpoet/bleeding_heart.jpg"><img style="WIDTH: 186px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 267px" height="271" alt="" src="http://rds.yahoo.com/_ylt=A0Je5x_AvQpFiQoATHajzbkF;_ylu=X3oDMTA4NDgyNWN0BHNlYwNwcm9m/SIG=12mu93ld7/EXP=1158418240/**http%3a//img26.photobucket.com/albums/v77/drkpoet/bleeding_heart.jpg" border="0" /></a><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/13718383-115833273761797591?l=ecstatic-euphoria.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>AJhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03423650476189484606noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13718383.post-1158294226386746752006-09-15T12:04:00.000+08:002006-09-15T23:20:41.316+08:001. A Cuddler?: yep<br />2. A morning person?: are u nuts?? NO~!<br />3. Are you a perfectionist?: Depends wat i am doing...<br />5. Catholic?: Nah~! i am christian~!<br />6. In your pajamas?: got out of it and into day clothes cuz i went to the doc...<br />7. Currently suffering from a broken heart?: i duno man~ maybe?<br />8. Okay styling other people's hair?: yesh~<br />9. Left handed?: nah~<br />10. Addicted to MySpace?: nope<br />11. Shy around the opposite gender? YESH~ shuddup shar and van~<br /><br />DO YOU:<br />12. Bite your nails?: not anymore<br />13. Get paranoid at times?: Yeps, but then again, who doesnt?<br />14. Currently regret something that you have said?: said? nope~<br />15. Curse frequently when you get mad?: the amt of curse words that exit my mouth on a day to day basis is already enuff to send my gramma into spasms... dun even bother to ask abt the amt when i get mad~<br />16. Enjoy country music?: okie okie..<br />17. Enjoy jazz music?: yeps~!!<br />18. Enjoy smoothies?: lovely~<br />19. Enjoy talking on the phone?: sometimes, depends on who i am talking to...<br />20. Have a lot to learn?: yeah<br />21. Have a pet?: yeps, a dwarf hamster called baby~<br />23. Have all your grandparents?: nope<br />24. Have at least one sibling?: yeah<br />25. Have been told that you are smart?: OF COURSE~!<br />26. Have had a broken bone?: yesh<br />27. Have Caller I.D. on your phone?: duh~ lets me ignore some ppl...<br /><br />HAVE YOU:<br />28. Changed a diaper?: Yes<br />29. Changed a lot over the past year?: u can say so, considering i am NOT a parent... blame my blasted job~!<br />30. Had friends who have never seen your natural hair color?: nope<br />31. Had surgery?: yes<br />32. Killed another person?: nope<br />33. Had your haircut within the last week?: nope <br />34. Had the cops called on you?: not yet...<br /><br />LAST PERSON WHO:<br />1. Slept in your bed besides you?: the scandal<br />2. Saw you cry?: WA... i duno... i really cant remember...<br />3. Went to the mall with you?: Errz... i cant remember either..<br />4. You went to the store with?: Shit~! i have a bad memory...<br />5. You went to dinner with?: parents?<br />6. You talked on the phone with?: KUANG ER~~!!! finally one i remember...<br />7. Said 'I love you' to you and really mean it?: who else?<br />9. Made you laugh?: who else?<br />10. You got in an argument with?: the scandal, thou i wouldnt exactly call it an arguement, more like a squaring off session...<br /><br />WOULD YOU RATHER?<br />1. Pierce your nose or tongue: tongue<br />2. Be serious or be funny?: Funny<br />3. Drink whole or skim milk?: whole<br />4. Die in a fire or drown?: Drown.<br />5. Spend time with your parents or enemies?: parents<br /><br />ARE YOU:<br />1. Simple or complicated?: complicated...<br /><br />DO YOU PREFER:<br />1. Flowers or candy?: Flowers<br />2. Gray or black?: Black.<br />3. Color or Black and white photos?: Black and white<br />4. Love or a crush?: love<br />5. Sunrise or sunset?: Sunset.<br />6. M&Ms or Skittles?: M&Ms.<br />7. Staying up late or waking up early?: Staying up late.<br /><br />ANSWER TRUTHFULLY!!<br />1. Do you like anyone?: like? are u nuts? i LOVE the bugger~!<br />2. Do they know it?: like duh~<br /><br />DO YOU PREFER..<br />1. Sun or moon?: moon<br />2. Winter or Fall?: winter <br />4. 10 acquaintances or having two best friends?: Two best friends.<br />5. Sun or rain?: rain.<br />6. Vanilla ice cream or chocolate ice cream?: Chocolate any time, any day.<br /><br />ABOUT YOU:<br />1. What time is it?: 12.11pm <br />2. Name?: Audrey<br />3. Nickname(s): Drey,dwee, dweedwee, aud, joey, aj, jasy... <br />4. where were you born?: Singapore~<br />5. What is your birthdate? 21st August 1982<br />6. What do you want?: to be content<br />7. Where do you want to live?: Aussie~!<br />8. How many kids do you want?: not sure...<br />9. What would you want to name a girl?: amber<br />10. What would you want to name a boy?: jay<br />11. You want to get married?: Mayb...<br /><br />UNIQUE!<br />1. Nervous Habits: i get paranoid and think i've misplaced my handphone when i cant see or touch it EVEN if i know i have already dumped it into my bag. <br />2. Are you double jointed?: not tt i know...<br />3. Can you roll your tongue?: Yes.<br />4. Can you raise one eyebrow?: Yes<br />5. Can you cross your eyes?: Yes.<br />6. Which shoe goes on first?: right i think<br />7. Ever thrown one at someone?: yesh~<br />8. On the average, how much money do you carry with you?: 0-40bucks... depends on thre situation...<br />9. What jewelry do you wear?: ring, necklance, earrings...<br />10. Do you twirl the spaghetti or cut it?: twirl.<br />11. Have you ever eaten spam?: Errs, wats tt?<br />12. Favorite ice cream?: cookies and cream<br />13. How many kinds of cereal are in your cabinet?: none i would presume<br />14. What's your favorite beverage?: coffee, tea<br />15. Do you cook?: Yes, somewhat... thou some would like to oppose...<br /><br />IN THE LAST MONTH, HAVE YOU? (YES OR NO)<br />1. Had a b/f or g/f?: its complicated<br />2. Bought something you didn't need?: forever...<br />4. Sang in front of people?: yesh<br />6. Been hugged: yeps<br />7. Felt stupid: i guess<br />8. Missed someone: Yeah<br />11. Danced Crazy: nope<br />12. Gotten your hair cut?: nope<br />13. Cried: cant remember<br />14. Been hurt by a friend?: cant remember...<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/13718383-115829422638674675?l=ecstatic-euphoria.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>AJhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03423650476189484606noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13718383.post-1158236615703778972006-09-14T20:18:00.000+08:002006-09-14T20:23:35.716+08:00<strong><u>Old Irish proverb:</u></strong><br /><br />Work like you don't need the money;<br />dance like no one is watching;<br />sing like no one is listening;<br />love like you've never been hurt;<br />and live life every day as if it were your last.<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/13718383-115823661570377897?l=ecstatic-euphoria.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>AJhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03423650476189484606noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13718383.post-1158129621748773392006-09-13T14:36:00.000+08:002006-09-13T22:12:56.983+08:00go to <a href="http://www.lightamillioncandles.com/">lightamillioncandles.com</a> and light a candle to support the cause against child pornography and child sexual abuse...<br /><br />mayb i am a child care teacher so my heart really goes out to these kids...<br />but do your part anyways, i have already done mine...<br /><br />thanks you guys...<br />=)<br />++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++<br />[Edit]<br /><br />wells, considering i have been unwell the past few days, i am not surprised the only thing i wana do is sleep more and not get up...<br /><br />on another note, i need ideas for my dramamtic corner...<br />theme: underwater world...<br />anyone can help?<br /><br />on yet another note:<br />do wat u please, i really dun care anymore..<br />sob story again...<br />call me guarded, watever...<br />but as danny said, i am not god, i cant go ard saving everyone..<br />i cant just keep doing wat u am currently doing..<br /><br />i am already lost somewhere (or should i say, in SOMEONE else) so i dun have the patience to act all nice and sweet all the time...<br />and yesh, i will help but i will not spread myself too thin for u now cuz i know and u know i dun like u enuff yet...<br /><br />and no, u may not treat me like a rag doll...<br />i might not have enuff strong feelings for u enuff that u can evoke a response but still, it aint a nice feeling..<br /><br />okie, i gotta go, i still feel like hell..<br />need more sleep..<br />the auntie's coming in from M'sia on saturday so i have to fit and ready by then...<br />lol~ we're gona see grampa in his urn... =)<br /><br />i miss the old senile bugger..<br />and i love him and miss his stories still...<br /><br />such a well read man...<br />i wish i had half his general knowledge...<br />i'd probably be one of the world's best substance debaters...<br />lol... and not just on a manner score...<br /><br />say say SAY HooOOooo...<br />sheep sheep...<br />love u all...<br />especially you, my hell's angel...<br /><br /><br /><a href="http://s60.photobucket.com/albums/h36/ajlestervan21/?action=view&current=wudidong-tanya.jpg" target="_blank"><img alt="Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting" src="http://i60.photobucket.com/albums/h36/ajlestervan21/wudidong-tanya.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><br />[/Edit]<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/13718383-115812962174877339?l=ecstatic-euphoria.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>AJhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03423650476189484606noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13718383.post-1158046930070826262006-09-12T15:30:00.000+08:002006-09-12T15:42:10.086+08:00help...<br />really~<br />my chest is giving me a ton of problems...<br />especially recently...<br /><br />i was walking about last nite in the OPEN AIR and i felt like someone was strangling me, sucking out all the air from my space. i felt like i was about to crash and burn...<br />even now, i still feel like i have absolutely no breathable air going thru my system.<br /><br />went to work zombified and came back EVEN MORE zombified...<br />my sup asked me to rest, rest alot...<br />she could tell i was struggling to keep up and not flop over in defeat...<br /><br />breathing is such a chore and i feel like i'm wasting my time tryin to struggle to keep any oxygen in my blood system... i am just taking in and giving out air because it is already an innately programmed action that i somehow do without thinkin about...<br /><br />my breaths are so shallow and pain, i sometimes try to not breathe so it wouldnt hurt... and i almost passed out in class a few trillion times just now cuz i needed to bend over, blow up a blasted mini pool and sit and stand from child sized chairs... so not good...<br /><br />i feel so numb and wozzy all over i wana just crash...<br />dun wana get up...<br />havent had anything to eat yet cuz i am so tired...<br />but i am gettin my maid to cook me noodles now cuz i know if i dun eat, i'll get gastric...<br />Gah~!<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/13718383-115804693007082626?l=ecstatic-euphoria.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>AJhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03423650476189484606noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13718383.post-1157980803007375542006-09-11T21:12:00.000+08:002006-09-11T21:20:03.030+08:00i keep missing u when i know i shouldn't...<br />its cold out at nite... keep warm aight?<br /><br />wo ai jin shan shun...<br />wo ai jin shan shun...<br />wo ai jin shan shun...<br />wo ai jin shan shun...<br />wo ai jin shan shun...<br /><br />ji4 qi3 na4 shi3 hou4, wo3 de4 xin1 you4 kai1 shi3 wang4 le4 tiao4 ji3 xia4...<br /><br />i need to shit again..<br />ArGh~!<br />off to shit...<br />i wipe until sore liaoz...<br />and cindy, who is currently stayin over at my place, is RUBBING IT in~!!!<br />i should chASE HER HOME...<br />*PONDERS*<br /><br />-EVIL GRiNzZZ-<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/13718383-115798080300737554?l=ecstatic-euphoria.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>AJhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03423650476189484606noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13718383.post-1157957855495615382006-09-11T14:27:00.000+08:002006-09-11T14:57:35.550+08:00<div align="right"><a href="http://rds.yahoo.com/_ylt=A0Je5mgOAAVFCpwA82ejzbkF;_ylu=X3oDMTA4NDgyNWN0BHNlYwNwcm9m/SIG=12185369h/EXP=1158041998/**http://www.placo.com/~paul/minis/jade4a.jpg"><img style="WIDTH: 320px; CURSOR: hand" alt="" src="http://rds.yahoo.com/_ylt=A0Je5mgOAAVFCpwA82ejzbkF;_ylu=X3oDMTA4NDgyNWN0BHNlYwNwcm9m/SIG=12185369h/EXP=1158041998/**http%3a//www.placo.com/%7epaul/minis/jade4a.jpg" border="0" /></a><br />i want that rose... its called a black jade... its a miniature rose and i am so in love with it... can someone get me a pot of it? i so so so love it to bits...</div><div align="right">so pretty can??? so pretty pretty pretty can?~!<br /><br /><a href="http://rds.yahoo.com/_ylt=A0Je5mlUAAVFoXUAmamjzbkF;_ylu=X3oDMTA4NDgyNWN0BHNlYwNwcm9m/SIG=122ntmb8h/EXP=1158042068/**http://simonsflower.net/images/black-jade1.jpg"><img style="WIDTH: 200px; CURSOR: hand" alt="" src="http://rds.yahoo.com/_ylt=A0Je5mlUAAVFoXUAmamjzbkF;_ylu=X3oDMTA4NDgyNWN0BHNlYwNwcm9m/SIG=122ntmb8h/EXP=1158042068/**http%3a//simonsflower.net/images/black-jade1.jpg" border="0" /></a></div><div align="right"></div><div align="right"><br />+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++</div><div align="right"> </div><div align="right">anyways, i am having a case of the runs, ate something wrong, so did my brother and we're both on MC cuz we've been pissing shit... LOL~!</div><div align="right">so since i am here, yet another one of those meme things... boring la...</div><div align="right"> </div><div align="left"><br /><strong><u>TELL ME ABOUT YOURSELF - The Survey</u></strong> </div><div align="left"> </div><div align="left"><strong><u>The basics</u></strong></div><div align="left">Name: Audrey Joey Teo Hui Ping<br />Birthday: 21st August 1982<br />Birthplace: Singapore</div><div align="left">Current Location: singapore<br />Eye Color: very dark brown<br />Hair Color: brown black<br />Height: 1.64<br />Right Handed or Left Handed: Right handed<br />Your Heritage: peranakan blood... lol<br /></div><div align="left"><strong><u>The randoms</u></strong></div><div align="left">The Shoes You Wore Today: slippers?<br />Your Weakness: cuddles<br />Your Fears: cockroaches and life like baby dolls<br />Your Perfect Pizza: stuffed crust, Extra mushrooms, chicken and cheese...<br />Goal You Would Like To Achieve This Year: lose weight? LOL~!<br />Your Most Overused Phrase On an instant messenger: lol...<br />Thoughts First Waking Up: WAT??? can i slp more please?<br />Your Best Physical Feature: eyes, boobs?<br />Your Bedtime: wen i am tired enuff?<br />Your Most Missed Memory: the times we spent doing all sortsa crazy stuff...<br />Pepsi or Coke: coke<br />MacDonalds or Burger King: Macs<br />Single or Group Dates: single...<br />Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea: peppermint green tea??<br />Chocolate or Vanilla: chocolat<br />Cappuccino or Coffee: Cappuccino<br /></div><div align="left"><strong><u>The do yous</u></strong></div><div align="left">Do you Smoke: socially (y do i feel like i am quoting him?)<br />Do you Swear: ya duh? who doesnt?<br />Do you Sing: yeps...<br />Do you Shower Daily: OF COURSE~!<br />Have you Been in Love: oh gosh, yesh, still am~! *SMilesSs*<br />Do you want to go to College: errz nope, tt would mean i am downgrading... in all sense of the word.. =)<br />Do you want to get Married: not just yet... still not ready to commit on that level...<br />Do you belive in yourself: Yesh~!<br />Do you get Motion Sickness: hell yeah...<br />Do you think you are Attractive: yeps... not fantabulously... but yes...<br />Are you a Health Freak: nope...<br />Do you get along with your Parents: sometimes<br />Do you like Thunderstorms: love it love it love it...<br />Do you play an Instrument: piano, guitar...</div><div align="left"> </div><div align="left"><strong><u>In the recent past</u></strong><br />In the past month have you Drank Alcohol: yes<br />In the past month have you Smoked: yes<br />In the past month have you been on Drugs: prefer not to say<br />In the past month have you gone on a Date: yes.. <br />In the past month have you gone to a Mall: yes..<br />In the past month have you eaten a box of Oreos: nope, a pack of three only, i think...<br />In the past month have you eaten Sushi: yesh<br />In the past month have you been on Stage: nope<br />In the past month have you been Dumped: nope<br />In the past month have you gone Skinny Dipping: ttz illegal where i come from...<br />In the past month have you Stolen Anything: nope<br /></div><div align="left"><strong><u>The ever beens</u></strong></div><div align="left">Ever been Drunk: yeps<br />Ever been called a Tease: Ahhaha... dun ask la. let's spare eceryone the sordid details...<br />Ever been Beaten up: never, i beat ppl up thou...<br />Ever Shoplifted: yes, when i was younger it was something we all did for fun...<br />How do you want to Die: in his arms...<br />What do you want to be when you Grow Up: young again...<br />What country would you most like to Visit: france...</div><div align="left"><br /><strong><u>In a Boy/Girl<br /></u></strong>Favourite Eye Color: anything... but grey and blue would be nice...<br />Favourite Hair Color: anything but gaudy<br />Short or Long Hair: longish<br />Height: taller than me<br />Weight: dont care<br />Best Clothing Style: goth punk </div><div align="left"> </div><div align="left"><strong><u>Number of</u></strong><br />Number of Drugs I have taken: duno, dun care...<br />Number of CDs I own: too many to count...<br />Number of Piercings: 8</div><div align="left">Number of Tattoos: 2<br />Number of things in my Past I Regret: 1? 2?<br /><br /><br /></div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/13718383-115795785549561538?l=ecstatic-euphoria.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>AJhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03423650476189484606noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13718383.post-1157876441113026422006-09-10T16:13:00.000+08:002006-09-10T21:45:41.236+08:00SHIT~!!!<br />IT CAME FULL CIRCLE~!!!<br />AND NOW, I MIGHT NEED TO EXPLAIN MYSELF~!<br />GAH~!<br />watever... if it ever comes to that, i will explain myself...<br />but other than that, i will just PRETEND i never knew...<br /><br />y do i feel like i am back in secondary school again??<br />i cant seem to run far from it aye?<br />i will always be me and i guess because of that, i will always get myself into problems like that...<br />i dun mean to get into them, i just do~!<br />BleAHzZzz~!!! tts not fair...<br />i know many people who do this but get off the hook without ever gettin found out~!<br /><br />argh~!<br />enuff about that...<br /><br />anyways, i sms-ed alvin last week...<br />he said to serene: ttz cool...<br />puzzles me why he would say something like tt considering we have never had an official conversation... but anyways, i gave the letter to him today...<br />did i do the right thing?<br />we'll just leave God to answer that...<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><em>how great is our God, sing with me</em><br /><em>how great is our God and all will see </em><br /><em>how great, how great, is our God</em><br /><br />[EDIT]<br />i feel a certain sense of something something, and wells, i cant really put my finger to it...<br />but one thing for sure is, my hearts been calling out to me the whole damned day and i have no idea y...<br />i just feel this invisible hand squeezing, squeezing squeezing and refusing to let go of that red beating thing in my body...<br />argh... mayb i am losing it...<br />completely and utterly just losing everything slowly...<br /><br />i really should go seek help...<br />proper help...<br />but *SHrugZzz*<br /><br />anyways, i duno how and y but i feel compelled to say this...<br />i fall for u all the time, everytime...<br />everytime my phone rings and your name appears, i fall in love again like a bloody school girl...<br />i like hearing your voice for nothing...<br /><br />u know i love u...<br />u KNOW i love u...<br />u know i love u...<br />u know i LOVE u...<br />[/EDIT]<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/13718383-115787644111302642?l=ecstatic-euphoria.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>AJhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03423650476189484606noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13718383.post-1157775034241896892006-09-09T11:38:00.000+08:002006-09-09T12:48:53.483+08:00i went out last nite despite feeling crappy...<br />took medicine, willed myself to get better and trooped out...<br />*GrinZzz* my sexy Baju kurung boy...<br /><br />Haha, anyways, we spoke last nite and its been a long time since we last spoke... as in really really spoke...<br /><br />it was nice.<br />just sitting there at the bus stop, talking, exchanging words, ideas, tryin to figure out life's intricasies, being random, being yourself, being lovely little you...<br /><br />and yesh, its true tt i still love u, used to love u, will still love u...<br />i am still very much unwilling to let u go from my heart. and it makes it even harder to have to look for reasons to try to let u go... cuz i know that no reason would ever be good enuff...<br /><br />You, yourself, is one reason i could never let u go... u never changed, u are still the same as u were 5 years ago, still the same heartless, cold blooded man i fell in love with those 5 years ago... we've grown up now, and wat seemed like just a passing feeling chose to stay instead. and it grew and became more than wat i initially expected it to be...<br /><br />sitting there only further convinced me of my own emotions. i could try to move on... but tryin is all i am doing, i am not willing myself to, i dun want to get out of the rut i am in cuz i still love u...<br /><br />and no one can deny that...<br />call it watever type of love u want, but yesh, love is wat i feel for u...<br />nothing less, everything more...<br /><br />despite everything that has ever happened between us, we're still us...<br />and yesh, we're stronger now despite wat happened before between us...<br />and despite everything that has ever come into my life to tear me away from u, i have never been so much as scratched cuz my heart is still set in that one same spot and never moved...<br /><br />i always found it hard to convince myself of the idea of love... love tt would and could last more than just a few months... and then, love came along in the most oddest of forms...<br /><br />given any other scenario, other than the one we met in i would never have bothered to so much as look in your general direction... and yet by a crazy twist of fate, we were there, right there, right then, in tt same spot we were in and by tt crazy twist of fate, your wall paper caught my eye. crazily and madly infatuated with women and men/boys who look like women/ girls, i swooned... and so did u... and there, a connection started...<br /><br />maybe we should just be...<br />just live...<br />just breathe...<br /><br />i don't care wat people say...<br />i loved u, still love u and will always love you...<br />=============================================================<br />i love love love this song... watch the video lower down below...<br /><br /><u><strong>Spider: Relaku Pujuk</strong> </u><br /><u><br /></u>Ku dikejar bayang bayang resah<br />Bila hatimu masih tak berubah<br />Enggan di punya dan di penjara<br />Belaian cintaku ini<br /><br />Aku bukanlah lelaki yang tewas<br />Bisa menyembah walau ku di tolak<br />Biar di uji kanan dan kiri<br />Kau kan tetap ku miliki<br /><br />C/o<br />Tiada lafas yang lebih agung<br />Kalimah cintamu yang ku tunggu tunggu<br />Biar jasadku yang menanggung<br />Permainan darimu rela ku pujuk<br /><br />Janganlah kau salahkan aku<br />Terus memburu menawan cintamu<br />Daku percaya sedikit masa<br />Kau kecundang akhirnya<br /><br />Usahlah kau bersedih di hadapanmu aku hadir<br />Memadam resah dan curiga dari hatimu oh...<br />Apakah kali ini bisa kau tolak dan berlari<br />Setelah aku menanamkan azimatku<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/13718383-115777503424189689?l=ecstatic-euphoria.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>AJhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03423650476189484606noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13718383.post-1157714316092615452006-09-08T18:18:00.000+08:002006-09-08T19:18:36.210+08:00Things you may not have known about me.....<br /><br />A) Four jobs I have had in my life<br />1. childcare teacher<br />2. ditto above<br />3. ""<br />4. i have a boring career line up<br /><br />B) Four movies I would watch over and over:<br />1. pretty woman<br />2. she's all that<br />3. V for vendetta<br />4. Shakespeare in Love<br /><br />C) Four places I have lived:<br />1. singapore<br />2. ditto above<br />3. ""<br />4. i hope to change it to aussie soon...<br /><br />D) Four TV shows I love to watch:<br />1. DW<br />2. grey's anatomy<br />3. yu le bai fen bai<br />4. wo ai jin san shun<br /><br />E) Four places I have been on vacation<br />1. Thailand<br />2. indonesia<br />3. Malaysia<br />4. aussie<br /><br />F) 4 Websites I visit regularly:<br />1. Livejournal.com<br />2. blogger.com<br />3. yahoomail.com<br />4. friendster.com and/or fridae.com<br /><br />G) Four of my favorite foods:<br />1. cheese sausages<br />2. Subway white chip and macadamia cookies and/ or cold cut trio<br />3. dumpling soup<br />4. lontong<br /><br />H) Four places I would like to be right now:<br />1. Paris<br />2. australia<br />3. japan<br />4. hongkong and/or taiwan<br /><br />I)Four Random Facts<br />1. i love ******<br />2. i feel crappy now cuz everythingfrom the chest up is blocked...<br />3. i have 8 ear piercings. i wanted to stop at 7 but someone made me get the 8th one...<br />4. I have a fetish for anything red and black...<br /><br />J) Who do you think will respond?<br />1. duno man, probably shareen again la, noticing how she always snitches my memes, not tt i mind la, she is too pretty for me to mind... now, shareen, show me your boobs~!!! LOL~!<br />++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++<br /><br />bits and pieces...<br />i have picked up sketching again...<br />the last time i picked up sketching, i was going thru this really quiet phase of my life. didnt wana say anything to anyone about wat was going on...<br /><br />mayb i need to chill out again...<br />life's been playin tricks with me, my mind, my heart...<br />if it were tt much easier, i would be less corpse-y than i am now...<br /><br />and i think i am falling sick again, not good considering i am quite well excited by the fact tt we have an ultimate frisbee game tml and i dun wana miss it... and of course, if i troop my way down there, i dun wana pass out or hyperventilate from the heat of the sun... we'll see la...<br /><br />gota go off now...<br />and because someone told me to put up more Jay vids, here u go...<br />plus a couple more for JY who hates jay chou cuz he is more handsome than her anthony keidis...<br /><br /><strong>Ye qu</strong>... one of my most favourite songs from him...<br /><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/wNZiOvHSMuo" width="425" height="350" type="application/x-shockwave-flash"></embed><br /><br /><br />this one is called <strong>wai po</strong>... he wrote it for his grandma... lovely...<br /><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/o97Wp3Nu6Qs" width="425" height="350" type="application/x-shockwave-flash"></embed><br /><br />this one's <strong>ba, wo hui lai le</strong>...<br />love his rapping in this one...<br /><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/aet0VS1jao0" width="425" height="350" type="application/x-shockwave-flash"></embed><br /><br />this one is in guo yu i think, so i duno the title cept it literally means: "<strong>where has the train gone?</strong>"<br /><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/AsT3mYYyZIY" width="425" height="350" type="application/x-shockwave-flash"></embed><br /><br />and this one, i've put in before, <strong>shan hu hai</strong>...<br /><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/UarGn_hd5Zg" width="425" height="350" type="application/x-shockwave-flash"></embed><br /><br />and this one, <strong>qi li xiang</strong>, has a very strong zhong guo feng but i love it...<br /><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/D4_yLBKVElg" width="425" height="350" type="application/x-shockwave-flash"></embed><br /><br />and i love love love <strong>qing tian </strong>also...<br /><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/OOuBVZDvooY" width="425" height="350" type="application/x-shockwave-flash"></embed><br /><br />this one is <strong>an jing</strong>...<br />no prizes for guessing y i love this song...<br />but here's a *hint... think Fadhil...<br /><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/_bxKm4xxai0" width="425" height="350" type="application/x-shockwave-flash"></embed><br /><br />and lastly, this one from the initial D OST...<br />loved this song in the movie...<br />called <strong>yi lu xiang bei</strong>...<br /><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/o_Z3jx_gPu0" width="425" height="350" type="application/x-shockwave-flash"></embed><br /><br />altogether now:<br /><strong><u>WE LOVE JAY ZHOU~!</u></strong><br /><br />shuttup JY~!<br /><br />and because i love H.I.M. (His Infernal Majesty) too, here are some of their vids:<br />btw, dun be deluded by their casual use of the word: god...<br />they are anything <strong><u>but</u></strong> saintly christians...<br /><br />this one's <strong>wings of a butterfly:</strong><br /><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/MmeXni2Z6lk" width="425" height="350" type="application/x-shockwave-flash"></embed><br /><br />this one's <strong>funeral of hearts</strong>:<br /><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/Ek_tC70Ybkk" width="425" height="350" type="application/x-shockwave-flash"></embed><br /><br />this one's called <strong>the sacrament</strong>:<br /><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/-OvfqM42ekE" width="425" height="350" type="application/x-shockwave-flash"></embed><br /><br />and just because i find this lady's voice totally amazing and scary AND, she is also apparently the grandmother of punk rock:<br />i present to you <strong>apocalyptica and nina hagan</strong>:<br /><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/SkyAL4-IQDI" width="425" height="350" type="application/x-shockwave-flash"></embed><br /><br />oh yesh, more of nina in <strong>new york, new york</strong>:<br />ABSOLUTELY WORTH watching...<br />watch her eyes and facial expressions...<br /><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/A-r9TQmpkNA" width="425" height="350" type="application/x-shockwave-flash"></embed><br /><br />and this is her tryin to sound more normal in <strong>my way</strong>:<br />it still sound have her flair though... really worth watching and oogling about...<br /><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/KhRxPrExDbI" width="425" height="350" type="application/x-shockwave-flash"></embed><br /><br />and to end it all perfectly, my fave song of the moment would be spider's <strong>Relaku Pujuk</strong>:<br />arent those malay band men just so simply appealing?<br />especially the lead singer~! *SWoonZZzzz*<br /><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/RQebZO4uGkc" width="425" height="350" type="application/x-shockwave-flash"></embed><br /><br />hope u enjoyed them all..<br />IF u watched all that is..<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/13718383-115771431609261545?l=ecstatic-euphoria.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>AJhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03423650476189484606noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13718383.post-1157633405798603052006-09-07T20:22:00.000+08:002006-09-07T20:50:05.893+08:00isnt my Jay zhou just so lovely?<br /><br /><br />i think this is called "ye de di qi zhang"<br /><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/gPcAhWGFMMs" width="425" height="350" type="application/x-shockwave-flash"></embed><br /><br />and this one is called errmmm.. "qian li zi wai"<br />and no, u nitwits, he ISNT mumbling in this song...<br /><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/womMlfTBV60" width="425" height="350" type="application/x-shockwave-flash"></embed><br />++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++<br /><br />hmm, so wells, i spend the afternoon at taka's seoul garden for the company lunch...<br />its weird but as much as i wanted to admit that i felt like a little was tornado going thru my heart constantly, i still put on a front and pretended like nothing mattered...<br /><br />ah yesh, the perils of being confused and almost ecstatically euphoric in depression...<br />or then again, mayb depression isnt the most perfect word to use because if i am depressed, i wouldnt be typing my blog entry in here, but in LJ instead...<br /><br />Gah~!<br />and as much as i hate to admit it, i miss u so much...<br />thoughts of u have been flooding my mind and heart and soul and the only thing i wana do is give u a good long hug.<br />how long more am i goin to miss you?<br />how long more am i supposed to just wait?<br /><br />sucks... it really sucks...<br />everything i feel, everything i have, everything i want to forget...<br />it sucks... everthing to the surface... like as if i wanted anything less than to show u now how much more u mean to me, more than ever...<br />if for anything, what happened has only served to prove how much i really feel for u.<br /><br />now i am lost, and broken, from my own sins and follies...<br />but given the chance, i doubt i would have done anything differently.<br />i would still be me, my life would still be in this state...<br /><br />had i felt less for u, i wouldnt have felt how i felt, did wat i did...<br />a moment's folly, a dozen regrets and now this...<br />i wish i had the guts to just drag u down to your feet and squeeze u dry of every emotion u ever felt...<br />make u into the walking corpse i now am.<br />void of feeling, void of pain, void of love, void... just void...<br /><br /><br /><br /><em><span style="color:#ff6666;"><strong>Dear God,<br /><br />Grant me the Serenity to accept the things I cannot change,<br />the Courage to change the things I can<br />and the Wisdom to know the difference.<br /><br />Amen</strong> </span></em><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/13718383-115763340579860305?l=ecstatic-euphoria.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>AJhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03423650476189484606noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13718383.post-1157522232883371102006-09-06T13:55:00.000+08:002006-09-06T14:22:01.636+08:00before i start, go listen to Jay Chou's new album <a href="http://www.haoting.com/musiclist/ht_218bfa49e8f11b6f.htm">here</a>~!<br />just click on the songs and a pop up will play the mp3 with lyrics above it~!!!<br />he is such a darling~! i love love love his style...<br />and JY, shuttup~!<br />+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++<br /><br />TEN FAVORITES<br /><br />01. televison show: its between Grey's anatomy and Desperate housewives<br />02. flower: black rose<br />03. color: black or red<br />04. sport: rugby<br />05. mall: any where shoppable?<br />06. music: pop, rock, classical...<br />07. food: japanese<br />08. season: winter<br />09. animal: dog<br />10. city: France<br /><br /><br />TEN FACTS<br /><br />01. hometown: Singapore<br />02. hair color: Brown cuz its dye-d<br />03. hair length: long<br />04. hair style: rebonded<br />05. eye color: dark brown in normal sunlight...<br />06. shoe size: 39-41 depending on the cut<br />07. mood: depends on the day and time...<br />08. orientation: Bisexual<br />09. available?: nope<br />10. lefty/righty: righty<br /><br />TEN THINGS ABOUT YOUR LOVE LIFE<br /><br />01. have you ever been in love: Yes<br />02. do you believe in love: Yes<br />03. why did your last relationship fail: differences in opinion<br />04. have you ever been heartbroken? yes<br />05. have you ever broken someone's heart: yes<br />06. have you ever fallen for your best friend? sadly, yes, but tt was BEFORE he became my best fren<br />07. have you ever loved someone but never told them: yep<br />08. are you afraid of commitment: currently, the answer is still yes...<br />09. have you ever had a secret admirer: oddly, yes...<br />10. do you believe in love at first sight: lust more like it, not love...<br /><br />TEN THINGS: THIS OR THAT<br /><br />01. love or money: Love<br />02. hard liquor or beer: hard liquor<br />04. one night stands or relationships: Relationships.<br />05. televison or internet: Internet.<br />06. pepsi or coke: Coke.<br />07. wild night out or romantic night in: both is quite fine actually... =)<br />08. colored or black and white pictures: black and white<br />09. phone or in person: in person<br />10. aim or myspace: AIM<br /><br />TEN HAVE YOU EVERS<br /><br />01. have you ever been caught sneaking out: No.<br />02. have you ever skinny dipped: No<br />03. have you ever done something you regret: Yes<br />04. have you ever bungee jumped: No.<br />05. have you ever been on a house boat: No.<br />06. have you ever finished an entire jaw breaker: Yes.<br />07. have you ever wanted someone so badly it hurt: Yes<br />10. have you ever been caught by your parents doing it? No<br /><br />TEN EMOTIONS<br /><br />01. are you missing someone right now: Yes<br />02. are you happy: tryin to be.<br />03. are you talking to anyone right now: Nope<br />04. are you bored: not tt bad...<br />05. are you german: nah~<br />06. are you irish: no<br />07. are you french: nope<br />08. are you Italian: still no<br />09. are your parents still married: YESH~!<br />10. do you like someone right now: i think so, i ain't sure... if he can melt my heart then mayb i would...<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/13718383-115752223288337110?l=ecstatic-euphoria.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>AJhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03423650476189484606noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13718383.post-1157479531140819622006-09-06T01:59:00.000+08:002006-09-06T02:13:55.373+08:00Mr CSK said:<br /><span style="color:#ff9966;">Never run on guilt!<br />Makes things worse only!<br />Its a mere TEMPORARY solution my dear </span><br /><br />ya, okie, so i tried to make amends...<br />for myself, for him...<br />i gave him a chance by acknowledging wat happened last nite...<br /><br />i am selfish, i KNOW i am selfish...<br />if for anything, i am doing this mostly to clear my conscience cuz i dun wana live with it for the next few days, not to even mention hours...<br /><br />i KNOW i am being unfair, i KNOW i am doing this on a whim, but he doesnt need to know, all he needs to do, is live in total oblivion to the fact tt i am only giving him a chance cuz i feel guilty for bringing him up to a high and just throwing him down like a little rag doll...<br /><br />i hated people who did that to me, but looks like i have turned so heartless and cold, i have become one of them... it sucks, yes, but wells, circumstances made me choose this decision...<br /><br />anyways, guilt can only take me as far as i wuld let it...<br />we'll see how it goes from here on...<br />if i really cant, i REALLY cant...<br /><br />OF COURSE its a nice feeling, who am i kidding?<br />making someone grovel at my feet, offer himself on a platter for my taste testing in the knowledge that i might decide to reject him again... its a wonderful feeling... who can deny it?<br /><br />but better yet, living in this secret for so long, i am glad i finally got it off my chest...<br />living with such a cold lifeless heart for so long, i am even surprised i feel guilt...<br />enuff to make me do something like that~!<br />SheEsh~!<br /><br />with the rest of them, its not so bad cuz wells, i NEVER was interested in them...<br />but this one, because i was interested before, might be able to spark something again if he tried hard enuff...<br /><br />i need to shut up about this again...<br />no more blog posts about him...<br />no more blog posts about how much guilt is making me bow to senseless demands...<br />BLeahZzz...<br /><br />if and when i decide to blog about it again, it would either be an official:<br />We're thru...<br />OR<br />We're on...<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/13718383-115747953114081962?l=ecstatic-euphoria.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>AJhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03423650476189484606noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13718383.post-1157426390698062272006-09-05T10:35:00.000+08:002006-09-06T13:55:02.390+08:00<em><span style="color:#ffff33;">[because i never wanted this to be public in the first place, (note how i never specifically mentioned it any where on my blog before and how i never mentioned it to alot of people...) i would seriously appreciate it if i wasn't asked any questions about it just as yet... thank you... and anyways, there is enuff information here for u to dissect...]</span></em><br /><br />so wells, last evening, the scandal came over from the Medical Centre with 2 packs of drugs for my flu/ sinus ridden body...<br />LOL~!<br /><br />actually, his intention was to drink vodka, which he failed so miserably at...<br />but its okie, he looks quite cute when he's stoned...<br />camp uniform and all...<br />LOL~!<br /><br />too bad his bloody unit needed him back so he rushed off at 2345pm to try to catch a cab bak by 2359...<br />3 months to ord-ing, he cant afford to go into DB now for being AWOL...<br /><br />and the scandal was being naughty naughty...<br />HAHA... evidence was all over... LOL~!<br />its quite difficult for a guy to hide it anyways...<br /><br />its been such a long time...<br />and somehow, my heart is so cold and lost somewhere else that i cant seem to appreciate the love tt he's tryin to show... not just on an emotional level, but also physical level...<br />rejection after rejection, he still came back to me, beggin me for a chance to prove himself...<br /><br />its just questionable how i would be interested in him and then lose interest just as soon as he tells me he's interested too...<br />i am just that type of person...<br />i treasure the ones i fight tooth and nail for, with obstacles all over the pathways i have to take... i'm just me...<br />so tell me how i can love someone who's fightin for me instead? its just way off, i wun love as much as i should... and i dun want a repeat of my 2.5 yr GF... just for the sake of it... Gah~!<br /><br />and also because i have always been lesbian, for the most part of it, i STILL find it weird to find a male snuggling up to me and i find it weirder still, to hear such heavy breathing when he's "takin a break" to "cool down"... lol.... dun imagine too much, just go with the basics...<br /><br />how do i start to even love another?<br />how do i even start thinkin about it?<br /><br />*SighZzz*<br />he said: <span style="color:#9999ff;">"Sorry..."</span><br />lol... i guess he knew he was crossing the line...<br />why a gem found his way to me, i wouldnt know...<br />but what i can say is that i am glad he controlled himself...<br /><br />anyhows, i guess I am the sorry one...<br />sometimes, my heart doesnt coincide with my mind...<br />everything was just clockwork...<br />no love was involved, no emotions...<br /><br />it did feel good to just lie on your tummy watching tv shows i love and just spending time sittin side by side with u stealing glaces at u stealing glances at me...<br />after such a long time, it felt lovely to have someone hug me this tight, unwilling to let go, pullin me closer even when i cant get any closer...<br />it felt perfect, albeit odd, to have someone there beside me, my face buried in the crook of his neck...<br />it felt crazy, albeit odd again, to feels someone's hard-on in all its glory under the covers between me and the person in question...<br /><br />everything was just off...<br />it felt good, really, it gives me a feel-good feeling...<br />but off...<br />is this wat i really want?<br />can i really love again?<br /><br />i dun wana lie, i dun wana cheat...<br />my heart lies somewhere else still...<br />my hell's angel asked: <span style="color:#ff99ff;">does he know about all these?</span><em>(with regards to my feeling for him instead of the scandal..)</em><br />my reply: <span style="color:#ff6666;">no, and i dun want him to know anything just as yet...</span><br /><br />am i being the type of lover i always hated?<br />the one who lies, the one who hides truths when she herself hates liars?<br />mayb in time to come, if i still cant find the heart to fully commit, i will break and tell...<br />but for now, this little secret will remain in my heart...<br />to save me, to save him...<br /><br />i wish i could love u...<br />we'll see...<br />+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++<br /><br /><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/bV6wpEc4MU4" width="425" height="350" type="application/x-shockwave-flash"></embed><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/13718383-115742639069806227?l=ecstatic-euphoria.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>AJhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03423650476189484606noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13718383.post-1157203832175238082006-09-02T21:05:00.000+08:002006-09-02T21:30:32.976+08:00met the girls today~!<br />WHOOHOO~!!! i got my birthday prezzies~!!!<br />=)<br />2 tops...<br />lovely lovely...<br /><br />i miss ma girls... fun time just being stupid with them again, talkin about things we shouldnt talk about and not forgettin, the usual gossiping about people...<br /><br />its sad when i dun get to see them often, we used to hang about everyday in the past with no need to bother about BFs and GFs hounding us...<br />of course we each had our scadals but nothing mattered that much cuz we always had shoulders to cry on whenever we were depressed over BGRs and GGRs...<br /><br />and now tt all of us are stuck in whirlwind schedules tt include relationships, work, family and studies, we've been spending less and less time together...<br />i miss just hanging out and having sleepovers...<br />miss yellow and i would be awoken and/ or kept awake till odd hours of the night cuz of kuang-ers snoring... we'd crap each other up with randomness and lame jokes, stupid antics...<br /><br />i remember we would escape to the library toilets to take a shit and we'd pick cubicles side by side so we could continue to crap (in all senses of the word)...<br />we'd spend coupious amounts of time in the library watching videos and VCDs...<br />and of course, Kuang-er would drag us all to the staff hub to stare at her then-crush, goatie..<br />lol~! the poor guy would be swimmin and she'd be oogling over him like no one's business...<br /><br />once, she got me to call him... and i did, so goatie and i spoke for a long bit...<br />then we decided to do something so secondary schoolish...<br />i put her on three way so she could listen in on the conversation wthout letting him know she was there...<br />LOL~!<br />and sadly, he admitted to me, while she was on the phone WITHOUT his knowledge by the way, that he couldnt remember how she looked...<br />must have hurt her somewhat...<br /><br />wells, we've done so much crap, we've cried, laughed, screamed, run, walk, held hands, kissed... everything possible and we're inseperable...<br />i love my bitches and i'd give anything to go bak to poly days...<br /><br />now, if schedules allow, depressed nights would be spent at miss yellow's house, complete with her BF tryin to get me drunk when he knows i can hold my hard liquer well... i hope he doesnt get wind of the fact tt i am hopeless with beer, i would be out cold after 1.5 jugs... LOL~!<br /><br />and everyonce in a while, we'd meet like the three witches, and brew potions of hot gossip and updates on our various lives we now live by ourselves...<br /><br />the usual questions tt always fall to miss yellow are: so how? u are leaving for aussie to study, sad anot? melvin how?<br /><br />the usual questions for Kuang-er are: so how? u and DC how? any back seat action yet?<br /><br />and the usual questions for me are: how? which one now? still the same guy/girl or change already? malay again ah? younger than u again ah??<br /><br />its such a ball whenever we meet and parting is such sweet sorrow...<br />we're almost lesbianic wen we go out, coupled with random huggin, hand holding and kissing...<br />we're sure of our sexualities and crossing lines thou...<br />there are two hetrosexuals and one bisexual...<br />and as much as we act lesbianic, we know where to stop...<br /><br />friendships...<br />i dun need a million frens, i just need the few tt have made so much out of me, taken so much out of me...<br />and i've given everything with a willing heart... something only a true fren would do for another...<br />i dun have many real frens, and i dun mind, all i need are those who have cried wtih me, laughed with me, quarrelled with me, been crap with me...<br />i love u guys and u know who u guys are...<br />take care all of u...<br /><br />the memories we've created would always stay in my heart...<br />**Cheers** to more memories...<br />+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/13718383-115720383217523808?l=ecstatic-euphoria.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>AJhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03423650476189484606noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13718383.post-1157033806236390542006-08-31T21:05:00.001+08:002006-08-31T22:21:16.113+08:00now, singapore is a small country but i am pretty sure we all each have <strong><u>ENOUGH</u><em> </em></strong>space to go around...<br /><br /><u><strong><span style="font-size:130%;color:#ff0000;">personal space...</span></strong></u><br />i <s>like</s><strong><u> LOVE</u></strong> my personal space and i dun appreciate any stranger intruding into my personal space...<br />unless of course u are a hot dude (<em>malay please, in uniform better</em>) or hot babe... as in droolisciously hot with boobs spilling all over me kind... those who fall into this category can even rub yourselves up onto me and i wun mind....<br />other than that, all other people keep out of my personal space when queuing up...<br /><br />blasted hell... PLEASE la, i am fat, man~! i love my space and i am entitled to my space... we all pay our dues in singapore, i am paying the same taxes, as u so shove off...<br /><br />and at places where queues are long and people get crappy cuz they have to wait a long time for their turn, pls refrain from even touching the ends of their laces cuz it is downright utterly irritating blastedly exasperating...<br /><br />come on man~ can u idiots pls practice some queuin etiquette ala male toilet style??<br />u can play the game <a href="http://www.flasharcade.com/game.cgi?urinal">here</a> and learn something from it...<br />Key concept: PERSONAL SPACE~!<br /><br />how then do u judge how far back to stand from the person infront of u?<br />simple.<br /><strong><u><span style="color:#ff9966;">watch how far the person is from the one infront, guage the distance and try to keep the same distance... the trick is to avoid standing too far back or too near.. then again, it is better to keep far then to come too close...</span></u><br /></strong><br />P/S:<br /><strong><u><span style="font-size:130%;color:#ff99ff;">POINTS TO NOTE:</span></u></strong><br />+ when the person infront of u places/ folds her arms across her chest while side glacing at u, it is your cue to MOVE THE HELL BACK~!<br /><br />+ when the person infront of u sticks her foot out at u in an akward angle, it is your cue to MOVE THE HELL BACK~!<br /><br />+ when the person infront of u turns around to glare at u, it is your cue to MOVE THE HELL BACK~!<br /><br />+ when the person infront of u tsks one too many times while lookin at u, it is your cue to MOVE THE HELL BACK~!<br /><br /><u><strong><span style="color:#9999ff;">just a side note as well:</span></strong></u><br />PLEASE refrain from rubbing your smelly crotch on our shoulders, we understand your manly need to mark your property but we dun belong to u, so please dun mark us... and no, not everyone appreciates your sexual advances...<br /><br />and PLEASE refrain from STARING at our cleavages... we dun mind u looking... LOOKING... but starin??? that is a no-no... and STARING AND DROOLING is worse... if u wana do something like tt, pls dun let us notice it... it's utterly irksome...<br /><br /><u><strong><span style="font-size:130%;color:#ff0000;">queue cutting...</span></strong></u><br />the bus wun leave without u unless u are the blasted suay one who is stading at the end of a 100 people long queue... the bus is not goin to slam its doors shut on u..<br /><br />and no, smilin while cutting the queue is NOT being neither courteous NOR polite...<br />it is downright rude and only highlights how blasted stupid u are cuz u are only inviting people to hate your guts more...<br /><br />and the most irritating ones are those who just cut the queue like they were paying 500% more fare than the rest of us... atas look and all...<br /><br />look bitches and bastards, tryin to get to work early is one thing... but to look like we owe u a living while doin that is another... get a life, no wait, get a car... take a cab, get the hell away from public trasport if u duno how to queue...<br /><br />and unless u are well above 65 and an old gramma or grampa, dun expect me to be nice and smile back at u wen u cut the queue... and dun be stupid, a glare is a glare, dun try to bluff yourself into thinkin otherwise...<br /><br />i duno and dun care where u are rushing to, cuz everyone else is ALSO rushing somewhere, EVERYONE needs a space on the bus and TOO BAD if u were late to get in queue, u just have to bloody hell wait, just like everyone else who's lining up...<br /><br />and when u actually DO cut the blasted queue, PLEASE LA, FOR HELL'S SAKE, MOVE THE HELL AWAY FROM THE ENTRANCE, AT THE VERY LEAST, NESTLE YOURSELF AT THE MOST INCONSPICIOUS SPOT AT THE VERY END OF THE BUS... dun stand around munching on your blasted food or worse, acting cute juz so u can be forgiven...<br /><br />u cut the queue, no one is goin to forgive u, especially the 99th person in the queue who WOULD HAVE gotten on the bus if it wasnt for you and your shameless queue cutting...<br /><br />and if u are the kind who doesnt like waiting in line, then simple, u can wait at the side and get on board the bus only after EVERYONE in queue has ALREADY boarded...<br /><br /><u><span style="font-size:130%;color:#ff0000;"><strong>On the MRT...</strong></span></u><br />i dun care how, i dun care y...<br />yesh, trains dun stop for long at mrt stations but too bad, the rule is to let people out first BEFORE gettin in... u wana rush? go take the driver's seat...<br />i dun appreciate tryin to be a good courteous singaporean with idiots pushin/ shoving me from behind, i feel your panic but too bad~!!!<br /><br />JUST TOO BAD~!!!<br />WAIT~!!!<br />u just have to wait, or of course, u can always queue up behind the next kiasu person and get in from another door to the train...<br /><br />and no, sorry to burst your bubble but the escalators are NOT goin to run away...<br />dun farking push into me... to get onto the escalator... if u want, u can take the stairs cuz generally, less people take staircases.... if u want to rush, dun rush and shove and push your way onto the escalators... its infuriating as hell and it really makes me feel like turning around and punching u...<br /><br /><em><strong><span style="color:#66ff99;">GAH~! i duno about u but the next idiot who attempts to cut the queue, rub his crotch on me, stares at my boobs, shoves me down the escalator and/ or into the train is goin to get one hellavu scolding from me...<br /><br />either that, or he/she is goin to get hit in the ribs really really hard...<br />i hope i break something...<br />or at the very least, bruise you really badly...<br /></span></strong></em><br />that's queuing 101 for u...<br />+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++<br /><br />and now on to emotional ranting...<br />duno y but i feel the urge to smoke suddenly...<br />i need to smoke...<br />i need to get my sampoerna greens...<br /><br />haiXxx... i just confirmed something just now and boy am i sad... i wana do something, like, i duno, sms him? write him a little note? but i dun really know how to go about doing it... its like, i duno man, but i feel compelled to... maybe later tonight i will do something about it... then we'll see if i actually HAVE the courage to actually pass/send it (the note/ sms) to him...<br /><br />its sad... really sad...<br />especially reading about it, the gravity of the situation kinda struck me really hard...<br />i have this strong compulsion to run up to him to give him a really long comforting hug...<br />being an early childhood educator has taught me that a hug can solve ALMOST anything... from a bruised ego to a bruised knee, a hug has healing powers for the broken soul...<br /><br />but then again, i'm not close enuff to him to do something like that... i dun wana appear like i have an ulterior motive... i COULD make it clear but that would only make it appear more like as if i DO have a motive...<br /><br />and oh shit, remember bambi from the camp photo???<br />i just found out she AND him ARE RELATED~!!!!<br />BROTHER AND SISTER~!!!<br />ARGH~! this is so not happening...<br /><br />watever...<br />Gah~! i'll take a rain check...<br /><br />i want to throw my hands up in protest...<br />i havent done enuff, i was mean, i was evil but no pt tryin to make amends now cuz i have already said i wat i wanted to say and did wat i wanted to do...<br />i cant change the course of history...<br />wat is the point of apologising when wat's done has already BEEN done?<br /><br />i feel so crappy, i was SUPPOSED to have a good school holiday... but now?<br />*frownZzz*<br /><br />maybe i SHOULD do something...<br />*off to think...*<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/13718383-115703380623639054?l=ecstatic-euphoria.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>AJhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03423650476189484606noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13718383.post-1156935891829895242006-08-30T18:47:00.000+08:002006-08-30T19:04:51.843+08:00am going to work dressed as a student tomorrow...<br />right...<br />BECAUSE it is TEACHER'S DAY celebration~!!!<br />LOL~!<br /><br />so much to offer, so little to give...<br />yet another teacher's day is coming...<br /><br />have i enjoyed myself this 3 years working as an early childhood educator?<br />have i done my best as a teacher?<br />have i offered enuff?<br />have i given enuff?<br /><br />as much as i want to believe i have given everything i have got, i know i still got more to give...<br />as much as i want to believe i have offered my children only the best, i know i still got more to offer...<br />have i done my best as a teacher?<br />if teaching is more than just pencil to paper then yesh, i HAVE done my best.<br /><br />enjoyment is only as much as i allow myself to participate...<br />catch no ball?<br />no worries...<br />as long as i understand myself, i think tt is all tt matters...<br /><br />i have officially deleted my blog addy from friendster cuz i dun want my church mates to come asnoopin round my blog...<br />its not tt i have anything to hide, its just tt i dun appreciate people from church knowing too much about wat goes on in my life unless i want them to know...<br />and whether i like it or not, some of the stuff i say here is not "church- safe"...<br /><br />it difficult to explain but no, just because we (they) are christians we (they) do not gossip...<br />for Gawd's sake, we're all human, we err...<br />and gossipin is one of those errs...<br />the bible says the tongue is the most poisonous, most vicious instrument of destruction...<br />and how true... need i explain more?<br /><br />maybe when i get to know them better and they get to know me better, then i might tell them my blog addy IF they ask me for it AND i TRUST them enuff...<br />wat makes me so sure they will bother reading in the first place?<br />simple...<br />i am not the conventional christian u find in church...<br />sooner or later, curiosity will kill the cat...<br /><br />i am mostly in blacks and reds, i wear wrist cuffs, i wear watever i want, however i like to church, plunging necklines and short skirts, i swear like water, i read weird books, i talk weird, i (used to/ still quitting) smoke.<br /><br />i drink, i refuse to mingle unless i get mingled with... i am just odd... i feel odd... i AM odd, i am like so old can?? everyone else in the youth grp is like "diaper- aged" and i feel like a blasted nanny there...<br />and short of a few pple there whom i talk to, i just generally ignore <em>(for lack of a better word)</em> everyone else...<br />and remember wat ppl say about me when i dun talk and just sit there???<br />Yeps~! i look like a freakin dao kia and i look damned atas...<br /><br />but then again, wat to do?<br />i am me, i am audrey...<br /><br />okie, off to continue my portfolio which is due tml...<br />blasted chest is giving me probs again, thankfully the pain is lightening up now... =)<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/13718383-115693589182989524?l=ecstatic-euphoria.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>AJhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03423650476189484606noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13718383.post-1156766571006485232006-08-28T19:51:00.000+08:002006-08-28T20:08:04.146+08:00Take my photo off the wall<br />If it just won't sing for you<br />Cause all that's left has gone away<br />And there's nothing there for you to prove<br /><br />Oh, look what you've done<br />You've made a fool of everyone<br />Oh well, it seems like such fun<br />Until you lose what you had won<br />Ooh, ooh<br /><br />Give me back my point of view<br />Cause I just can't think for you<br />I can hardly hear you say<br />What should I do, well you choose<br /><br />Oh, look what you've done<br />You've made a fool of everyone<br />Oh well, it seems like such fun<br />Until you lose what you had won<br />Oh, look what you've done<br />You've made a fool of everyone<br />A fool of everyone<br />A fool of everyone<br />++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++=<br /><br />the sun will always shine for you, my dear...<br />always...<br /><br />i miss each and every memory u have every given me, good or bad...<br />from the first time we spoke to the good times and bad...<br />year to year, the ups and the downs...<br />my heart will always remain where it is...<br />i could stray but my heart will always be locked up in this little place called "you"...<br />i feel like such a fool but no... i would never change that...<br /><br />i feel lost without u near me now...<br />you've changed, i've changed, we've changed...<br />i cant complain...<br />but i would like to have u know i am still the same deep within my heart...<br />i still live and breathe for u...<br />the only one who could be so perfectly imperfect...<br /><br />i never needed a reason to love u...<br />so there would never be a reason for me to stop even if...<br /><br /><a href="http://photobucket.com" target="_blank"><img alt="Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting" src="http://i60.photobucket.com/albums/h36/ajlestervan21/36.jpg" border="0" /></a><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/13718383-115676657100648523?l=ecstatic-euphoria.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>AJhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03423650476189484606noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13718383.post-1156620178298848532006-08-27T03:18:00.000+08:002006-08-27T09:22:58.893+08:00take me for?<br /><br />a toy?<br />for a minute there, i hesitated when it came to replyin to your msg...<br />on one hand i missed u enuff to even read it, but on the other, the first thought that came to my mind was: FARK YOU~!<br />honestly, u meant something to me when it started, thou it sorta fizzled out after a while, u were still the special one... and now, i am startin to wonder if i should even try again...<br /><br />u forgot????<br />how the fark do u forget??<br />if i meant as much as to u as u CLAIM, u obviously DIDNT show it very much~!<br />Gah~!<br /><br />you're an arsehole...<br />and tragically, i like arseholes~!!!<br />=(<br /><br /><br /><span style="color:#ff9966;">[EDIT]<br />so, 6 hours and 2100 words later, i am finally done with my VERY VERY overdue essay...<br />off in a bit to hand it up...<br /><br />but wait, hold the confetti first, i still have ANOTHER 4000 word essay to do which is due in approximately 3 weeks?<br />ARGH~!!!!<br />y doesnt it end???<br />y~!?<br />ArgHHhh~! it just DOESNT end does it??~!!<br /><br />y did i stupidly allow my parents to decide my course of study?<br />if i had just gone all stubborn and insisted on drama or art, i would be hell enjoyin myself now~!<br /><br />*mumbles incoherently...*<br /><br />[/EDIT]</span><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/13718383-115662017829884853?l=ecstatic-euphoria.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>AJhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03423650476189484606noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13718383.post-1156488804153778882006-08-25T14:35:00.000+08:002006-08-25T14:53:24.170+08:00<div align="right">The rules:<br /><strong>Bold the statements that are true to you.</strong><br /><em>Italise the statements that you WISH are true.<br /></em>Leave the Fibs alone.<br />Then, stab 5 people to do the same test.<br /><br /><br /><br /><strong>I miss somebody right now.</strong><br />I dont watch TV these days.<br /><strong>I wear glasses or contact lenses.</strong><br />I love to play video games<br /><em>I've tried marijuana.<br /></em>I have been in a threesome.<br />I have been the psycho-ex in a past relationship.<br /><strong>I believe honesty is usually </strong>(note: USUALLY)<strong> the best policy.</strong><br /><strong>I curse sometimes.</strong><br /><strong>I have changed a lot mentally over the last year. </strong>i've become very lan lan about everything~!<br /><em>I carry my knife/razor everywhere with me.</em><br /><strong>I'm TOTALLY smart.<br /></strong><em>I've broken someone's bones.</em><br /><strong>I'm paranoid sometimes.</strong><br /><strong>I would get plastic surgery if it were 100% safe, free of cost, and scar-free.</strong><br /><strong>I need money right now. </strong>*HINT HINT~!*<br /><strong>I love sushi.</strong><br /><strong>I talk really, really fast...</strong> during a debate...<br /><strong>I have long hair.</strong><br /><em>I have lost money in Las Vegas.</em><br /><strong>I have at least one sibling.</strong><br />I have worn fake hair/fingernails/eyelashes in the past.<br /><strong>I couldn't survive without Caller I.D.</strong><br /><strong>I like the way i look.</strong><br /><strong>I am usually pessimistic.<br />I have alot of mood swings.<br />I have a hidden talent.</strong><br />I'm always hyper no matter how much sugar i have.<br /><strong>I have a lot of friends.</strong> (acquaintances, not friends...)<br /><strong>I am currently single.</strong><br /><strong>I have pecked someone of the same sex.</strong>(tongued. more like it...)<br />I enjoy talking on the phone.<br />I practically live in sweatpants or PJ pants.<br /><strong>I love to shop.</strong><br /><strong>Enjoy window shopping.</strong><br />I would rather shop then eat.<br /><em>I don't hate anyone.</em><br />I'm a pretty good dancer.<br />I'm completely embarrassed to be seen with my mother.<br /><strong>I have a cell phone.</strong>(in this day and age, it is hard to believe if anyone tells me they dun own one..)<br /><strong>I believe in God.</strong>(more than i believe in myself...)<br />I watch MTV on a daily basis.<br /><strong>I have passed out drunk in the past 6 months.</strong><br /><strong>I've rejected someone before.</strong><br />I have no idea what i want to do for the rest of my life.<br />I want to have children in the future.<br /><strong>I have changed a diaper before.</strong><br />I've called the cops on a friend before.<br /><em>I'm not allergic to anything.</em><br /><em>I have a lot to learn.</em><br />I have been with someone at least 10 years older or younger.<br /><strong>I am shy around the opposite sex.</strong>(sometimes?)<br /><strong>I have tried alcohol before.<br />I have made a move on a friend's significant other or crush in the past.</strong><br /><em>I own the "South Park" movie.</em><br /><strong>I would die for my best friends.</strong><br />I think that Pizza Hut has the best pizza.<br />I have used my sexuality to advance my career.<br />I love Michael Jackson, scandals and all.<br /><strong>Halloween is awesome because you get </strong><s>free candy</s><strong> to dress up.</strong><br />I watch Spongebob Squarepants and i like it.<br /><em>I am happy at this moment!</em><br />I'm obsessed with guys.<br />I study for tests most of the time.<br />I tie my shoelaces differently from anyone I've ever met.<br /><strong>I am comfortable with who I am right now.</strong><br />I have more than just my ears pierced.<br />I walk barefoot wherever i can.<br />I have jumped off a bridge.<br /><strong>I love sea turtles.</strong><br />I spend ridiculous money on makeup.<br />Plan on achieving a major goal/dream.<br /><strong>I'm proficient in a musical instrument.</strong><br />I worked at McDonald's restaurant.<br /><strong>I hate office jobs.</strong><br />I love sci-fi movies.<br />I think water rules.<br />I went college out of state.<br /><strong>I like (CHEESE~!) sausages.</strong><br /><strong>I love kisses.</strong><br /><strong>I fall for the worst people.</strong><br />I adore bright colours.<br /><strong>I can't live without black eyeliner.</strong><br /><strong>I don't know why the hell i just did this stupid thing.</strong><br />I usually like covers better than I can't whistle.<br />I can move my tongue in waves, much like a snakes slither.<br /><strong>I have ridden/owned a horse.</strong><br /><strong>I still have every journal I've ever written in.</strong><br /><strong>I can't stick to a diet.</strong><br />I talk in my sleep.<br /><strong>I try to forget things by drowning them out with loads of distractions.</strong><br /><strong>Climbing trees is a brilliant past-time.</strong><br />I have jazz in my blood.<br />I wear a toe ring.<br /><strong>I have a tattoo.</strong><br /><strong>I can't stand at LEAST one person that i work with.</strong><br /><strong>I am a caffeine junkie.<br />I cosplay or know what cosplaying is.</strong><br />I have been to over 15 conventions.<br /><strong>I will collect anything, and the more nonsesical the better.<br />I'm an artist.<br />I only clean my room when necessary.<br />I like a person of the same sex.</strong><br /><strong>I love being happy.</strong>(i only wish i were)<br /><strong><em>I am an adrenaline junkie.</em></strong> </div><br /><br />i am home to change cuz i have to rush back to my centre to stand in for one of my teachers who needs to go off early... and instead of doin something productive, i ended up doin this mindless thing while sucking, chewin and gnawin on two cheese sausages...<br /><br />i am gettin too random... so are my tots and feelins and emotions and watever else u can think of...<br />i guess ignorance is taking its toll on me...<br />i am running on air and its no good...<br /><br />sometimes i wish i didnt have a heart... Gah~!<br /><br />off to change... bye bye...<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/13718383-115648880415377888?l=ecstatic-euphoria.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>AJhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03423650476189484606noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13718383.post-1156419658432144632006-08-24T19:39:00.000+08:002006-08-24T19:40:58.446+08:00i miss u...<br />i am just not saying it nor showing it very much...<br /><br />can u tell?<br />*Criess*<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/13718383-115641965843214463?l=ecstatic-euphoria.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>AJhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03423650476189484606noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13718383.post-1156327426304159672006-08-23T17:55:00.000+08:002006-08-23T18:03:46.323+08:00<a href="http://photobucket.com" target="_blank"><img style="WIDTH: 261px; HEIGHT: 365px" height="487" alt="Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting" src="http://i60.photobucket.com/albums/h36/ajlestervan21/19082006001.jpg" width="357" border="0" /></a><br /><br />guess wat?<br />i have a fetish for poppin bubble wrap...<br />i go nuts when i see bubble wrap cuz i would and could go on poppin and poppin and poppin~!<br /><br /><a href="http://photobucket.com" target="_blank"><img style="WIDTH: 396px; HEIGHT: 288px" height="474" alt="Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting" src="http://i60.photobucket.com/albums/h36/ajlestervan21/19082006.jpg" width="403" border="0" /></a><br /><br />and oh... oh...<br />look~!!<br /><a href="http://photobucket.com" target="_blank"><img style="WIDTH: 403px; HEIGHT: 231px" height="352" alt="Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting" src="http://i60.photobucket.com/albums/h36/ajlestervan21/23-08-06_1730.jpg" width="539" border="0" /></a><br /><br />yummyliciuos cheese sausages... i love them...<br />love eating them, love sucking the cheese outta them...<br />sadly, they all look like cumming dicks when i bite off one end~!<br />LOL~!<br /><br />and JY n i were out the other nite at taka when we chanced upon a pussy sittin on a banana... wat comes to mind?? no really, think about it before scrolling down...<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />Thought about it yet?<br />wana try another image??<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />heeHEE~!<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />And now, i present to you...<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />The pussy sittin on The banana~!!!<br /><a href="http://photobucket.com" target="_blank"><img alt="Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting" src="http://i60.photobucket.com/albums/h36/ajlestervan21/22-08-06_2045.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><br />i wonder y both the pussy and banana look like they are both having FUN~!<br />they look satisfied duncha think?<br />especially the banana~!<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/13718383-115632742630415967?l=ecstatic-euphoria.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>AJhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03423650476189484606noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13718383.post-1156146281155361252006-08-21T15:38:00.000+08:002006-08-21T15:48:04.333+08:00Thanks to all of u who sms-ed me, called me and friendstered me...<br /><br />shocking to recieve msg-es from ppl whom i tot would forget...<br />lol~! the wonders of friendster...<br />but JY, your theory about the one particular one i mentioned ah, could be wrong cuz errMmm... i checked the acct, hasnt been in for 2 weeks... so errm, mayb we're wrong...<br /><br />okie, so this morning i woke up to a full inbox of SMS-es... HEHE~<br />but the one that made me smile the most, was from someone who's name starts with 'D' on my phone...<br />guess who~!?<br />shouldn't be difficult aye?<br /><br />okie, anyways, i gota go...<br />catch slp and reading...<br />bought a new book...<br />ghost girl by torey haden...<br />is tt how u spell her name?<br />heehee~!<br /><br /><strong><span style="font-size:380%;"><u><span style="color:#cc0000;">H</span><span style="color:#ff0000;">a</span><span style="color:#ff6666;">p</span><span style="color:#ffcccc;">p</span><span style="color:#cc0000;">y</span> <span style="color:#ff0000;">b</span><span style="color:#ff6666;">i</span><span style="color:#ffcccc;">r</span><span style="color:#cc0000;">t</span><span style="color:#ff0000;">h</span><span style="color:#ff6666;">d</span><span style="color:#ffcccc;">a</span><span style="color:#cc0000;">y</span> <span style="color:#ff0000;">t</span><span style="color:#ff6666;">o</span> <span style="color:#ffcccc;">m</span><span style="color:#cc0000;">e</span><span style="color:#ff0000;">~</span><span style="color:#ff6666;">!</span></u></span></strong><br /><br /><br />all because i love red~!!!<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/13718383-115614628115536125?l=ecstatic-euphoria.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>AJhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03423650476189484606noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13718383.post-1156086452823916562006-08-20T22:52:00.000+08:002006-08-20T23:07:32.846+08:00HAHA~!<br /><br />still having a slight headache but i survived today...<br />shopped...<br />pampered myself cuz its my birthday tml~!<br />had LOADS of food...<br />okie maybe not THAT much...<br />but i had errm...<br />KFC, Subway's cold-cut trio, one oat cookie also from subway, one spicy tuna sushi and one cup of bubble tea... LOL~!<br /><br />i STILL HAVEN'T had my small dragon buns (xiao long baos)...<br />*CRAVE CRAVE*<br /><br />wells, i had fun with miss freak and JY~!<br />miss freak is the one with the pics, so until i see her online, no pics...<br /><br />and guess wat, karma is bad... walked into a shop today and lo and behold, who should i meet?<br />one of HIS old frens... first question she asked: "so where is the boy?"<br />i just looked at her and said: "aiyah, duno la... dun ask la..."<br />and before i left the shop, i said: "pls dun ask me about him anymore already kkz? sorry la..."<br /><br />HAHA~! so THAT's how it feels to meet mutual frens ACCIDENTALLY...<br />AKWARD~!<br />its over...<br />OVER~!<br />WE ARE <strong><u>NOT</u></strong> TOGETHER ANYMORE~!<br />GAH~!<br /><br />and oh yesh, so there i was in BPP buyin shoes...<br />when after payin up, i noticed an odd lookin piece of paper nestled in between one of the pairs of shoes i bought... i stared at it wondering wat it was and only too late noticed it was the sales guy's name and number, i quickly shut the box to prevent akwardness...<br /><br />immediately after accepting my payment, he promptly disappeared from the shop... let me state he <em>potong jalan-ed</em> the sales girl to serve me, much to my surprise before that...<br /><br />so yes, after i left the shop, i told JY about it and we laughed cuz we found it so 20th century...<br />heylo ah, but even ah beng's dun do that now... LOL...<br />but anyways, we decided to make things moer akward for him by purposely walking by the shop again...<br />HAHA~!<br /><br />wells, i am NOT gona call him nor sms him for obvious reasons...<br />one, he looks MUCH MUCH older and is obviously NOT the type of guy i would be interested in...<br />neither tall nor malayu...<br />HEE HEee...<br /><br />so shopping, as i had digressed from earlier, was good...<br />- new emily strange wallet<br />- new jeans<br />- 2 new tops<br />- 2 pairs of shoes<br />- MORE subway cookies<br /><br />i am bushed...<br />tired and slpy but i am waitin for mummy and daddy to get home...<br />*Ta-han ta-han*<br /><br />wana kunzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz...<br /><br />they're back~!<br />YEAH~!<br />SLP~!!!<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/13718383-115608645282391656?l=ecstatic-euphoria.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>AJhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03423650476189484606noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13718383.post-1155992699514447822006-08-19T21:00:00.000+08:002006-08-19T21:06:37.876+08:00DEaf~!<br />not blind, just DEAF as fark...<br />or are u guys all tone deaf like Paul Twohill??<br /><br />MAthilda got thrown out? how is tt listeningly possible???<br />she might not be drop dead skinny and such but she is definitely stylish AND a great singer...<br />she CAN become singapore's idol...<br /><br />Paul Paul Paul...<br />u had BETTER become better...<br />if u get voted in as singapore's next idol, i will be damned disappointed...<br /><br />and oh yesh, i got my first birthday angpow (red packet) for the year today from my gramma...<br />=)<br />i had dinner with her n my aunt...<br />i love my gamma to bits and bits and bits...<br /><br />she is the <strong><em><u>BEST</u></em></strong> gramma in the world...<br />okie, i gota go... need to pack stuff and read my notes~!!!!<br /><br />Cheerios~!<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/13718383-115599269951444782?l=ecstatic-euphoria.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>AJhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03423650476189484606noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13718383.post-1155907692096064222006-08-18T21:26:00.000+08:002006-08-18T21:28:12.113+08:00smile...<br />that look in your eyes...<br />comforting pat...<br />arm draped on my shoulders...<br />voice...<br />smell...<br /><br />you...<br />the one that disappeared all these months since HE came into the picture...<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/13718383-115590769209606422?l=ecstatic-euphoria.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>AJhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03423650476189484606noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13718383.post-1155827144188728112006-08-17T22:58:00.000+08:002006-08-17T23:05:44.220+08:00Dear Stinkey Winkey, <br /><br />Thank you for the day out...<br /><br />It made my mood ounces better and its made me smile more than i have smiled for the last few weeks put together...<br />I love our randomness and our impromtu-ness... It makes life that much more interesting duncha think?<br /><br />Cheers to more laughter filled days and piggin out...<br /><br />May we have better tasting Mee soto and Teriyaki egg rice, better tasting tako pachi balls and xiao long baos and of course, Better compacted Mos Rice burgers...<br /><br />i have no complaints about the cheese sausages and mussels and nuggets and milk tea though... =)<br /><br />Love,<br />me...<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/13718383-115582714418872811?l=ecstatic-euphoria.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>AJhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03423650476189484606noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13718383.post-1155712919608649082006-08-16T15:15:00.000+08:002006-08-16T22:00:49.853+08:00fever + flu + loads of phlegm + lousy hand-eye coordination + lousy brain functioning + loss of ability to do anything cept slp = <u>Farked up Throat Infection~!</u><br /><br />even after two days of slpin, i still feel like fark and my fingers are still detached from my brain/ body... they seem to have a will of their own and wun type wat i want them to...<br /><br />on the flip side, i was site hoppin and i found this~!<br /><a href="http://www.fecalface.com/SF/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&amp;id=230">How to stuff a mouse</a><br />go on, click it...<br />u'll find it interesting~!<br /><br />LOL~!<br /><br />okie, mood is a little less crappy now...<br />turning a year younger in a few days time...<br />sweet 16 all over again...<br />i love it that, unlike everyone else, i grow younger every year...<br />HAHA~!<br /><br />see wat i mean by: "lousy brain functioning"<br />i cant even crack a joke and laugh at it cuz i dun find it funny at all..<br /><br />wat did i just say?<br />fever is still here... Gah~!<br />+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++<br /><br />[EDIT]<br /><br />so wells, in all my sickness and lack of health, there i sat, sprawled on the sofa infront of the TV at 8 pm to catch Singapore Idol... something i usually wouldnt do under normal circumstances short of the times i got drawn to the TV by either VERY good singing <em>(ie. little rock chick who got voted out)</em> or VERY bad singing <em>(ie. Mr-i-can't-see-your-eyes)</em>...<br />and this only goes to prove how sick i really am... sick outta my brains...<br />but i digress...<br /><br />so back to Singapore Idol... i remember readin an article in 8 days about Ja... and guess wat, at first i tot they were just tryin to make her sound really stupid... sadly, i have cant agree with 8 days more about their more than damning remarks against her lack of grey matter...<br /><br />its true when they reported that she sprouted "less than intelligent" comments... more than half the time, i either cringed or rolled my eyes whenever she opened her mouth... oh come on... lady, can u use more brain? prove to Singapore that u aren't just a pretty babe who can sing, but also a pretty babe who have brains can? every one's entitled to their bimbo days... so can u leave those days for mondays, tuesdays, fridays, saturdays and sundays?? just try to be intelligent on wednesdays and thursdays?<br /><br />if not for yourself then for singapore, cuz when this show gets braodcasted in other countries, i want them to sit up and applaud our english... there is already enough debate goin on about whether we need foreign teachers to teach us english...<br /><br />and on Paul Twohill... sorry fans, but he cant sing... honestly... he might be able to carry the whole emo look off because he knows how to cover up his flaws (tryin to explain the hair thing going on...) but he CANT sing... no, really, he cant sing... even for peanuts... he cant... i am being objective here...<br /><br />and thou i dun like Rahimah Rahim, at least i dislike her more than Paul Twohill cuz i find her very poseur, i still give her credit for a power packed voice... at the VERY LEAST, she can sing to save the show...<br /><br />and joakim (SHOULD be pronounced: WA-KIN, NOT JO-KIM), cant sing too, he's too cutesey, very soft, he should do acting instead...<br />WTF~!!! how the hell did he even managed to out last Rahimah?? based on looks? it IS afterall a singing competition... i wish fans would let up and open their ears as opposed to their eyes for once...<br /><br />it IS a pretty sight to watch every week, i cant agreed more *(note: i still think emilee was the hottest)... but it really wrecks the ears to have to sit there week in week out listening to some of them thrashing good songs...<br /><br />and i give credit to Hady, Jonathan, Nurul and Mathilda for being able to carry off their tunes and do a little more justice to the songs they sing, as opposed to the rest...<br /><br />i didnt name names, but it is already very VERY apparent who i think should leave next, there are only two of the finalist that i didnt applaud for effort afterall...<br />okie, i think i have done enuff of SI thrashing, i should stop here incase some fan decides to bitch slap me for insulting her darling Paul Twohill...<br /><br />sounds like a show's name: one tree hill by the way~~!!! HAHA~!<br />okie, sorry, THAT was uncalled for... =)<br />+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++<br /><br />and get a load of this... i am hell pissed, i am not saying that no one else in the universe cant be sick but it sucks to have the all famous ********************************************************************************<br />********************************************************************************<br />***************throa<em></em>t infection *****************************<br /><br />WTF~! i wish he would get a personality...<br /><br />no prizes if u can guess who i am pissed at but i am so about to give him a piece of my mind, dun ask even y i hate him, i just do... he screwed with my mind and i would give him a very good blast if i was more evil than i proclaim to be...<br /><br />beneath it all, i am still nice, i might blast people on my blog... but when it comes to real life, i am the little kitten all dressed in black... i purr but i never bite unless u tug on my pretty little tail...<br /><br /><a href="http://photobucket.com" target="_blank"><img style="WIDTH: 358px; HEIGHT: 246px" height="315" alt="Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting" src="http://i60.photobucket.com/albums/h36/ajlestervan21/DSC08258.jpg" width="435" border="0" /></a><br /><br />and speaking of cats, i miss meow...<br />do u think he still lives in maysprings JY??<br /><br />[/EDIT]<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/13718383-115571291960864908?l=ecstatic-euphoria.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>AJhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03423650476189484606noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13718383.post-1155548771950124552006-08-14T17:45:00.000+08:002006-08-14T17:46:51.703+08:00my throat feels sandy...<br />basically, i feel like fark...<br />forgive my rants...<br />the sun doesn't shine anymore...<br /><br /><br /><br />on the nightside, i've been ugraded to "Darling"<br />=))))<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/13718383-115554877195012455?l=ecstatic-euphoria.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>AJhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03423650476189484606noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13718383.post-1155480265386641172006-08-13T22:32:00.000+08:002006-08-13T22:46:58.356+08:00like u told me to..<br />like a little dog..<br />like a loyal puppy, i refused to follow anyone else..<br /><br />i just sat there, in the rain and waited..<br />drenched in the pourin rain..<br />no shelter..<br />cold and shivering..<br /><br />i waited..<br />waited for words that went unfulfilled..<br />waited for a call that never came..<br /><br />i'd hate you if i could find the heart to..<br /><br />y do u always bring me to a high then let me fall so fast and hard?<br />even if it doesnt hurt u seeing me like this, it hurts me seeing u seeing me hurting and not caring..<br /><br />i would NEVER say i would be better without u...<br />but sometimes, the urge to just run away from u creeps up on me and overwhelms me...<br />but the urge never lasts long...<br />blame my heart...<br />the one thing that cant let go of u...<br /><br />dun tell me something to give me hope unless u intend to see it thru...<br />dun make me a feel more of the fool than i already am...<br /><br />and sometimes when i close the window, i really wish i could slip, get my chin caught on the ledge<br />while the rest of my body breaks free and falls down below to the ground.. i wonder if u would even attend my funeral...<br /><br />considering everything that i have already seen and experienced, i dun even wana hang on to that glimmer of hope anymore...<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />do u even realize u hurt me?<br />H-A-H sunday...<br />did u even realize i was <em><strong>supposed</strong></em> to be happy?<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/13718383-115548026538664117?l=ecstatic-euphoria.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>AJhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03423650476189484606noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13718383.post-1155470120277866962006-08-13T19:36:00.000+08:002006-08-13T19:55:20.290+08:00i HAVE a heart... i but i am so pissed with it i wana dig it out and slash it up so well it looks like strands of red, wet thread... Grrr...<br /><br />carryin a smile on my face is kinda cool, no one knows, no one suspects...<br />laughin, spinning around, having fun...<br />all part and parcel of the act...<br />yeah, i bleed...<br />i breathe...<br />i feel...<br /><br />y cant i just be?<br />a person with no strong emotions, a person who lives just because...<br />revenge?<br />yes, u could call it that...<br />and i regret wat i did cuz wells, the guilt was overwhelming...<br />how can i even think of doing something like that?<br />its not like as if its gona change anything...<br />a minute of self satisfaction does not justify the torment of guilt for the months to come...<br />Argh~!<br /><br />yeah, i am lost in myself again...<br />lets be emo...<br />the toaster didnt work..<br />the sun didnt rise..<br />the birds died..<br />the sea froze..<br />the tap leaked..<br />the knife sliced..<br />the blood dripped..<br />the pain pierced..<br />the world is against me today...<br />everyone hates me...<br />no one cares...<br /><br />i wish i could believe half of wat i typed rite above...<br />i wish i had a heart tt worked...<br /><br /><br /><br /><br />and i need to remember...<br />the one who is worth everyting i have already done and become...<br /><br /><em><strong>"wat u are is God's gift to u... wat u become, is your gift to Him..."</strong></em><br /><br />Thank you Mrs Lee for writing that to me all those years ago...<br />never will i forget those words...<br /><br /><br />And today i watched a healing video and i was as always amazed at how God works...<br /><em>Thanks you, Pastor, for lending it to me~</em><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/13718383-115547012027786696?l=ecstatic-euphoria.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>AJhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03423650476189484606noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13718383.post-1155363877327637622006-08-12T14:12:00.000+08:002006-08-12T14:24:37.346+08:00<ul><li>how can one fall out of love and fall in love again simply? </li><li>how can anyone let his/her guard down and learn to accept someone again? </li><li>how can one learn to give up on the best and to settle for second best? </li><li>how can one be healed of all the pains tt came with having loved and gettin hurt? </li><li>how can one walk out of something tt never was and yet still feel like everything, including nothing was actually lost? </li><li>how does one ignore the solitude that comes with rejection and rejecting? </li><li>how does one ever learn tt love is not always a bed of thorns? </li><li>how can one ever let another in again after being slashed up by someone before? </li><li>how can one ever forget the one thing that gave her/ him a reason to breathe and love...</li><li>how can one ever give his/her heart away if someone else already owns it?</li></ul><p></p><p><br />darned rite it hurts and drains...<br />to have to be guarded all the time...<br />to have to make sense of all the emotions tt come with the confusion tt comes with the memories of pain and happiness and ease and comfort and love and patience and death, that makes me, me...<br /><br />i wish i could give u wat u want...<br />but i cant... not cuz i dun want to, but cuz i am still very much as how i was before...<br />i am cold, i am hard, but i still feel the pain and tt is the one thing tt is keeping me guarded against anything and anyone including him...<br /><br />its not the type of pain tt heals over night, in a week, in a month or even a year... this pain has been with me for 5 years now...<br />and EVEN IF i could, i would NEVER give up on this pain cuz this is the same pain tt has kept me comin bak to sanity...<br /><br />thanks for tryin... but i'll see how it goes... <br />let's just be frens for now... okie?</p><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/13718383-115536387732763762?l=ecstatic-euphoria.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>AJhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03423650476189484606noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13718383.post-1155280464147693122006-08-11T15:05:00.000+08:002006-08-11T16:15:47.286+08:00in Malaysia Mr CSK~!<br />++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++<br /><br /><a href="http://photobucket.com" target="_blank"><img style="WIDTH: 458px; HEIGHT: 326px" height="344" alt="Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting" src="http://i60.photobucket.com/albums/h36/ajlestervan21/11-08-06_1354.jpg" width="510" border="0" /></a><br /><br />so teacher Audrey went to work all decked out in her favourite colours black and red today... from socks to skirt, to top, to bag, to nails... she's feeling emo today... i ain't sure y but i bet it has something to do with someone we all know... then again, i cant be too sure... i dun dare to ask her anything...<br />*Shrugs*<br /><br />well, i peeked into her phone today. and, dun tell her, but i saw a picture of a boy on it.. i duno who he is but he was wearing a beanie... he looks like a frog... but dun tell teacher Audrey i said that, she might get angry...<br /><br />class went very well today. we had fun and teacher Audrey says she loves isaac alot but he is a naughty boy... but she still loves him... okie, i need to go. teacher Audrey wants to watch basic instinct...<br /><br />Ashley<br />++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++<br /><br /><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/o5nLID8QD-4" width="405" height="330" type="application/x-shockwave-flash"></embed><br /><br />i love this vid...<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/13718383-115528046414769312?l=ecstatic-euphoria.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>AJhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03423650476189484606noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13718383.post-1155203358998023542006-08-10T15:42:00.000+08:002006-08-10T17:51:37.680+08:00on <a href="http://www.solitude-reverie.blogspot.com/">Victor's</a> blog...<br /><br /><img style="WIDTH: 320px; CURSOR: hand" alt="" src="http://i60.photobucket.com/albums/h36/ajlestervan21/CCC.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><a href="http://i60.photobucket.com/albums/h36/ajlestervan21/untitled5.jpg"></a><br />moving on, the assignment's done...<br />all finished, printed and handed up...<br />Gah~ one down, one more to go...<br />si beh kao sianz can?<br /><br />so, i dun have much to say 'cept that i woke up feeling exceptionally high..<br />i have no idea y and i am beginning to wonder if i took any drugs yesterday...<br />of course i know i didnt... but then again, i wonder if anyone spiked my food or drinks...<br />but i didnt leave the house at all wat...<br /><br />*confused look*<br /><br />let me be emo again...<br />wats new, huh?<br />so i am mulling about trying to make sense of everything that has already happened in my life..<br />tryin to find lessons to learn and to gain more insight upon...<br />all the memories i've ever created with different people...<br />diffferent sights and sounds evoke different emotions in me...<br /><br />many pictures i refuse to delete cuz they are my only link to a memory that might disappear into nothingness...<br />i refuse to forget not because i dun want to, but because i never wana forget the lessons i learnt from each and every one of those points in time...<br /><br />y not take a walk with me down memory lane?<br /><br /><a href="http://photobucket.com" target="_blank"><img style="WIDTH: 393px; HEIGHT: 292px" height="320" alt="Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting" src="http://i60.photobucket.com/albums/h36/ajlestervan21/1B087.jpg" width="467" border="0" /></a><br />this is my dear Kang Zhe... miss him so much man~<br />probably the reason y i changed my mind about having kids...<br /><br /><a href="http://photobucket.com" target="_blank"><img style="WIDTH: 298px; HEIGHT: 393px" height="320" alt="Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting" src="http://i60.photobucket.com/albums/h36/ajlestervan21/sharvanme.jpg" border="0" /></a><br />i miss these two girls... this was taken like wat? 3 years ago?<br /><br /><a href="http://photobucket.com" target="_blank"><img style="WIDTH: 393px; HEIGHT: 292px" height="320" alt="Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting" src="http://i60.photobucket.com/albums/h36/ajlestervan21/Image003.jpg" border="0" /></a><br />and of course also the one i slept with...<br /><br />hehe~ i am glad for these three girls in my life...<br />we've braved storms and winds and tornados and all that nonsense together and we've made it thru these ten years... GOsh~! i feel old man~!<br />we've had conversations that could never see the light of day becasue it would only make us all seem like little perverts...<br />we've all done tings that should never be told to anyone outside the circle cuz it would only confirm how perverted we three are...<br />HAHA~! i love u babes~!<br /><br /><a href="http://photobucket.com" target="_blank"><img style="WIDTH: 403px; HEIGHT: 300px" height="349" alt="Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting" src="http://i60.photobucket.com/albums/h36/ajlestervan21/cindyyilinni2.jpg" width="450" border="0" /></a><br />and these two other girls too... Love oh love...<br />boy do i love them...<br />we've been there for each other thru thick and thin...<br />we've cried together, laughed together, talked rubbish while shitting together side by side... all the crazy tings we've ever did with each other we would never ever dream of doing with anyone else... i love u girls from the bottom of my heart..<br />really...<br /><br />and, do u....<br /><a href="http://photobucket.com" target="_blank"><img style="WIDTH: 393px; HEIGHT: 292px" height="320" alt="Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting" src="http://i60.photobucket.com/albums/h36/ajlestervan21/1B078.jpg" border="0" /></a><br />...remember this, darling?<br /><br /><a href="http://photobucket.com" target="_blank"><img style="WIDTH: 380px; HEIGHT: 292px" height="320" alt="Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting" src="http://i60.photobucket.com/albums/h36/ajlestervan21/1B079.jpg" border="0" /></a><br />and right after?<br /><br />and this is probably one of the first few pictures i ever took of you in your uniform...<br /><a href="http://photobucket.com" target="_blank"><img style="WIDTH: 383px; HEIGHT: 272px" height="364" alt="Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting" src="http://i60.photobucket.com/albums/h36/ajlestervan21/1B089.jpg" width="443" border="0" /></a><br /><br />and this is one the pictures i uber love tt i took of u... u look so cute~!<br /><a href="http://photobucket.com" target="_blank"><img style="WIDTH: 386px; HEIGHT: 299px" height="398" alt="Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting" src="http://i60.photobucket.com/albums/h36/ajlestervan21/1B106.jpg" width="393" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><a href="http://photobucket.com" target="_blank"><img style="WIDTH: 388px; HEIGHT: 311px" height="341" alt="Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting" src="http://i60.photobucket.com/albums/h36/ajlestervan21/manmejy.jpg" width="380" border="0" /></a><br />and then this boy came along..<br />Haha, it was one hell of a ride but wells, i did have fun...<br /><br />and that, behind me, is Ms stinkey monster Ah lian JY...<br />oh man~! u have no idea how much i love this woman~<br />if it were anyone else who possessed her qualities, i would kick her sorry arse to heaven~<br />but cuz it is her, i have forgiven time and time again...<br />so babe~ u dun need to make me reassure u... i DO love u... really~<br /><br />and here comes the sad bit..<br />this is grampa on the 25th of december...<br />(i am NOT resizing the next few... sorry...)<br /><br /><a href="http://photobucket.com" target="_blank"><img alt="Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting" src="http://i60.photobucket.com/albums/h36/ajlestervan21/grandmazplace13.jpg" border="0" /></a><br />while i was having problem with the above mentioned boy, it was also at these times tt were the last few times i ever saw grampa or heard his voice or listened to his stories..<br /><br />he was a man of integrity, working with the police force all his life...<br />he was awarded medals by the first president of singapore...<br />but he was a man of little faith in God..<br /><br />yet all came out fine when he accepted Christ barely 1 month before his passing..<br />i will never forget the surge of emotions we all felt when he gathered the family to announce his willingness to accept Christ..<br />and it was that evening that all the angels in heaven rejoiced for the salvation of both my gramma and grampa...<br /><br /><a href="http://photobucket.com" target="_blank"><img alt="Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting" src="http://i60.photobucket.com/albums/h36/ajlestervan21/grandmazplace14.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><br />and on the 31st of december, he moved on to heaven to await the rest of us...<br /><a href="http://photobucket.com" target="_blank"><img alt="Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting" src="http://i60.photobucket.com/albums/h36/ajlestervan21/grandmazplace18.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><a href="http://photobucket.com" target="_blank"><img alt="Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting" src="http://i60.photobucket.com/albums/h36/ajlestervan21/grandmazplace19.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><br />my grampa passed away with family by his side, praying for him and holding his hands...<br />he recieved a million kisses and words of reassurances from us..<br />and as he took his last breath, we all muttered a word of prayer for the Lord to take his soul with Him to heaven, that he might finally find peace from all the pain he had to go thru during the last few moments of his life...<br /><br />Rest in peace grampa...<br />u KNOw we love u...<br />and we will meet again soon...<br />[Gah~! i am tearing... =( ]<br /><br />and then, this:<br /><a href="http://photobucket.com" target="_blank"><img style="WIDTH: 222px; HEIGHT: 161px" height="346" alt="Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting" src="http://i60.photobucket.com/albums/h36/ajlestervan21/111.jpg" width="450" border="0" /></a><br />happened and<br /><a href="http://photobucket.com" target="_blank"><img alt="Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting" src="http://i60.photobucket.com/albums/h36/ajlestervan21/Happier2.gif" border="0" /></a><br /><br />HAHA... wat a crack, because soon after, he:<br /><a href="http://photobucket.com" target="_blank"><img style="WIDTH: 387px; HEIGHT: 309px" height="315" alt="Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting" src="http://i60.photobucket.com/albums/h36/ajlestervan21/Pic12190053.jpg" width="326" border="0" /></a><br />promptly came along...<br /><br /><a href="http://photobucket.com" target="_blank"><img style="WIDTH: 390px; HEIGHT: 290px" height="308" alt="Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting" src="http://i60.photobucket.com/albums/h36/ajlestervan21/Image043.jpg" width="455" border="0" /></a><br /><br />lasagne from the above pictured him... we shared many good memories but i guess nothing really mattered cuz we drifted apart anyways...<br />we didnt quarrel, honest to God, nothing happened, everything just fizzled out...<br /><br />and despite the appearance of the two above and a few more inbetween that i do not have pictures of, he (forgive the shiny foreheads... it was a busy night...):<br /><a href="http://photobucket.com" target="_blank"><img style="WIDTH: 386px; HEIGHT: 287px" height="351" alt="Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting" src="http://i60.photobucket.com/albums/h36/ajlestervan21/18-03-06_2350.jpg" width="465" border="0" /></a><br />was still the centre of my life... still the one i held on to deep in my heart...<br />nothing could replace him, no one could dethrone him...<br />anyone new could be important to me, but they could never uproot this little bugger in my life, in my heart...<br /><br />thru thick and thin, we pulled thru...<br />u have no idea how bad some quarrels got...<br />u had to be there to see how stupid we both acted...<br />lol...<br /><a href="http://photobucket.com" target="_blank"><img style="WIDTH: 400px; HEIGHT: 370px" height="349" alt="Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting" src="http://i60.photobucket.com/albums/h36/ajlestervan21/sheesha008.jpg" width="426" border="0" /></a><br />nonsense quarrel after nonsense quarrel...<br /><br /><a href="http://photobucket.com" target="_blank"><img style="WIDTH: 305px; HEIGHT: 411px" height="551" alt="Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting" src="http://i60.photobucket.com/albums/h36/ajlestervan21/DSC00567.jpg" width="394" border="0" /></a><br />stupid antic after stupid antic...<br /><br /><a href="http://photobucket.com" target="_blank"><img style="WIDTH: 407px; HEIGHT: 338px" height="391" alt="Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting" src="http://i60.photobucket.com/albums/h36/ajlestervan21/DSC01307.jpg" width="355" border="0" /></a><br />fight after fight...<br />(this is gettin cheesey~)<br /><br /><a href="http://photobucket.com" target="_blank"><img style="WIDTH: 412px; HEIGHT: 326px" height="459" alt="Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting" src="http://i60.photobucket.com/albums/h36/ajlestervan21/DSC00343.jpg" width="499" border="0" /></a><br />Ego against Ego...<br />(probably your proudest moment... )<br /><br /><a href="http://photobucket.com" target="_blank"><img style="WIDTH: 418px; HEIGHT: 308px" height="377" alt="Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting" src="http://i60.photobucket.com/albums/h36/ajlestervan21/24-01-06_1852.jpg" width="418" border="0" /></a><br />but yet every step we took, u were the one i refused to stray from...<br /><br /><a href="http://photobucket.com" target="_blank"><img style="WIDTH: 408px; HEIGHT: 319px" height="352" alt="Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting" src="http://i60.photobucket.com/albums/h36/ajlestervan21/DSC07943.jpg" width="465" border="0" /></a><br />never a reason y...<br />but i loved you...<br />and i still do...<br /><br />*Throws rotten tomatoes at myself...*<br /><br />i guess this is all i am entitled to say...<br />anymore pictures and my bandwidth would die...<br />but before i end, just a last one...<br />My dear Hell's angel, this is the new ring...<br />=)<br />i have a thing for "split" rings...<br />this is a two tiered one...<br /><a href="http://photobucket.com" target="_blank"><img style="WIDTH: 217px; HEIGHT: 159px" height="282" alt="Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting" src="http://i60.photobucket.com/albums/h36/ajlestervan21/09-08-06_2314.jpg" width="382" border="0" /></a><br /><br />nice??<br />HAHA~!<br /><br />okie, i am off... tt is enuff memories AND pictures for one day...<br />take care you guys...<br /><br /><br /><br />p/s: if u didnt see your picture here, it is cuz i dun have pictures of u... but it doesnt mean u didnt make an impact in my life...<br />min, shareen, halafax, dan, LY, jac3, ewan, Ms Gan, serene and a few more...<br />u know u are loved... dun ever forget that...<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/13718383-115520335899802354?l=ecstatic-euphoria.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>AJhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03423650476189484606noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13718383.post-1155135657214303982006-08-09T22:45:00.000+08:002006-08-09T23:00:57.316+08:00one assignment down~<br />and now, i have one more~!<br />Gah~!<br />this other one is on special needs...<br />okie, i will try my best to start something soon...<br /><br />i need to buy a canvas board~<br />and red and blackand white paints...<br />i wana do an art piece...<br />thing is, after i am done, i duno if i will like it and if i will even hang it up IF i can find space to even do that...<br /><br />Art...<br />art...<br />i wonder wat to do with all my doodling and sketching...<br />if only i had place to frame it all up...<br /><br />i need to get a studio as my space...<br />then i can work it up from ceiling to floor with clothes and a painted dark blue top with nice drapes and glow in the dark stars all over...<br />it would be lovely...<br />i would have my art work all over the walls, i would even cordone a quiant little corner for works in progress...<br />dirty as possible to attain that arty feel...<br /><br />then i would even invite all my frens over to do their art in my space...<br />it would be perfect~!!!<br /><br />Gah~<br />i am already dreaming~<br />this is bad...<br /><br /><br /><a href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/1807/188/1600/95557.jpg"><img style="CURSOR: hand" alt="" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/1807/188/320/95557.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><div><a href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/1807/188/1600/95557.jpg"></a> </div><div>and y do i feel like i can identify with her pain? LOL~!</div><br /><br />okie... off to slack...<br />take care people...<br />Sheep Sheep...<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />and i missed the live fireworks...<br />=(<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/13718383-115513565721430398?l=ecstatic-euphoria.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>AJhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03423650476189484606noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13718383.post-1155111794662977842006-08-09T16:20:00.000+08:002006-08-09T19:00:47.540+08:00[EDIT]<br /><br />this edit will be above my original post cuz i feel it is more important then the post itself...<br />=)<br />i am ALMOST DONE WITH MY ASSIGNMENT~!!!!<br />only 100 more words~!<br />i am ecstatic, i am euphoric...<br />i am experiencing ecstatic-euphoria...<br /><br />yah yah, okie, i am lame... but can u blame me?<br />i am rushing out my assignment...<br /><br /><br /><br />p/s: i love hearing your voice first thing when i wake up...<br />lol... really...<br />even if i means i have to hear u gibber about something which i probably will not remember when i wake up again after falling back to sleep when u put down...<br /><br />*Sheepish look*<br />[/EDIT]<br /><br /><br />one wants something...<br />y cant i meet normal people with normal needs?<br /><br />y must everything be about sex?<br />i am not pretty, not slim, not attractive...<br /><br />i am whiny and egoistic and watever else u can think of...<br />so y me?<br /><br />we'll see...<br />i have already turned him down, let's see if he gets the hint and either changes his stance or moves off....<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/13718383-115511179466297784?l=ecstatic-euphoria.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>AJhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03423650476189484606noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13718383.post-1155043391545061132006-08-08T21:03:00.000+08:002006-08-09T00:52:23.873+08:00the pain i used to go thru whenever i look at this picture and what it says...<br /><a href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/1807/188/1600/untitled7.jpg"><img style="CURSOR: hand" alt="" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/1807/188/400/untitled7.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><br />such a short sentence and yet it evokes much emotion from this hardened little heart...<br />more than half the time i would naturally scream in pain and agony at the realization that all i do would probably never bear more fruit than what has already been bore... but yet another part of me refuses to give up NOT because i seek much sweeter fruits but because no one just stops loving another deeply, overnight.<br />and at least, now i know, he listens more than before...<br />Thank you My Hell's Angel...<br /><br />and so this following picture heals my heart...<br />slightly morbid but cute nontheless...<br /><br /><a href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/1807/188/1600/21.jpg"><img style="CURSOR: hand" alt="" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/1807/188/400/21.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><br />i enjoy killin myself, and/or anything that hinders my paths...<br />and this one path that i am taking, to futher self destruction no doubt, is one path that i never want to be pulled away from...<br />this is one earthly thing that i am so unwilling to give up, so unwilling to let go of and offer up to Him...<br />yesh, i know my sins haf accumulated beyond just a rack of shelves in heaven...<br />but i am still an unwillin soul lost and broken cuz she refuses to heal...<br /><br />pain is temporary...<br />self inflicted pain lasts as long as u want it to...<br />and the pain in your heart doesnt just hurt, it gnaws and chews and breaks you down slowly but surely...<br /><br />it was never an easy thing to do, but i reoffered my life back to God cuz he has been probing at me and prompting me to return into His glorious kingdom again...<br /><br />we walk in circles all the time...<br />i walk from startin point to ending point while stopping at stations sych as lovelessness, loneliness, pain, grief, depression, denial and so on and so forth...<br />but i always end up where i started from...<br />the ending is always the start...<br /><br />and just as i take walks around the park, u do too...<br /><br /><br /><br />erom reverof dna ylerus u evol i<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />okie, off to do assignments...<br />Gah~! due tomolo...<br />HAHA~!<br />SHEEP SHEEP people~!!<br />i am SO gona die~<br /><br />[EDIT]<br />i duno y i bother to procrastinate whenever it comes to doin my assignment...<br />DAMNED~!<br />i am not hell smart or watever but i have quite the gift for bullshitting...<br />and within 3 hours i am almost already done with my 2000 word assignment...<br />i only have 600 more word to bull..<br /><br />sheesh~<br />i just need one afternoon and i would be done...<br />y cant i just get down to it?<br />i am such a lazy arse when it comes to homework~!<br />or mayb i just hate the reading part of it...<br /><br />referencings are a bitch too~!<br />whoever came up with the idea of referencing in such odd ways should be shot...<br />and no, dun farking bother to give me a whole lengthy speech on IP and all that jazz, i dun care... as long as i give credit, i am not exactly stealing their thoughts ya know~<br />but watever...<br />Gah~<br /><br />and oh, oh... i met the cutest baby today...<br />guess wat i am goin to say???<br />yesh~!<br />i want a kid...<br />a little baby boy~!!!<br />someone make me one please????<br /><br />LOL~!!!<br />[/EDIT]<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/13718383-115504339154506113?l=ecstatic-euphoria.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>AJhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03423650476189484606noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13718383.post-1154939944021718262006-08-07T16:10:00.000+08:002006-08-07T16:46:17.696+08:00i duno how much longer i can pretend like as if i dun care too much about a certain someone, when in actual fact, i do...<br />i do care alot for that person but i cant say it, cant show it...<br />no time, cant be bothered with effort...<br />basically, i am just lost in my own world...<br /><br />i have become very unfriendly...<br />at least with everyone i know...<br />H-A-H-A~ its not even close to funny how unfriendly i have become...<br />i have been so busy, so phased out, so lost that i really canot be bothered with caring for people and how they feel...<br /><br />it isnt that i dun wana be nice, but given my job scope, i am already nice to little sluts who call themselves "mothers" all the time...<br /><br />of course there are perks in this line of work...<br />my children, being one of which...<br /><br />FOP was great...<br />HAHA~! HOT HOT HOT drummer from CCC...<br />and the name of this hottie????<br /><br /><strong>Matthew Hawkins</strong><br /><a href="http://www.ccc.org.au/cccw/images/11.jpg"><img style="FLOAT: left; MARGIN: 0px 10px 10px 0px; WIDTH: 400px; CURSOR: hand" alt="" src="http://www.ccc.org.au/cccw/images/11.jpg" border="0" /></a> WAH~! he is like the hottest man~<br />YUMMY-LICIOUS~!<br />u can find his profile <a href="http://www.ccc.org.au/cccw/nlidefault.asp?page=cccwnliTours">here</a>...<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />so anyways, we watched click~! WOW~! good show man~<br />i am so in love with it...<br />it was quite stupid at first but i bawled like a baby towards the end~<br />WTF~! i cried so much so much...<br />and then coupled with lake house about two weeks ago?<br />i am starting to think i actually HAVE a heart...<br /><br />i'm weird~<br /><br />anyways, i noticed someone's been exceptionally nice to me...<br />i have no idea y but considering how we first started out, obviously we both stepped onto each others toes, i am surprised he even bothers with me...<br />it all started with just a few waves and yada-yada which i did not really make an effort to respond to...<br />and then, this time, he doesnt just wave, he makes it obvious he's greetin me by calling my name...<br /><br />which is obviously something i wouldnt expect from him, of all people...<br />and we've had a few ALMOST decent conversations, althou i still try to keep it to a minimum cuz i <s>dun wana</s> am shy and most of the time do not like mixing with people i am not too farmiliar with and cant connect with...<br /><br />of course i am not judging him again yet la, once is about enuff...<br />he has been proving to be a really nice guy and wells, we'll just wait and see...<br /><br />thru out all these, i am sure he has been tryin and i am grateful for that...<br />but u see, me being me, i tend to be hardened even more the more someone tries cuz i just cant be bothered being swayed by anything or anyone but myself.. i only believe wat i personally see and feel...<br />of course if he manages to prove it, i might just give him chance willingly...<br /><br />for now, we'll wait and see if he can stand up to the test...<br /><br />thou, i have to mention that i seem to be gettin probings from God to go and DO SOMETHING... Gah~!<br />camp camp camp...<br /><br />so anyways, i finally saw the munchkin...<br />i missed him like a lot a lot...<br />and since i wun be seeing him for the rest of this week...<br /><br />because audrey knows fadhil is busy and doesnt wana disturb him on a week day...<br /><a href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/1807/188/1600/18.jpg"><img style="FLOAT: left; MARGIN: 0px 10px 10px 0px; CURSOR: hand" alt="" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/1807/188/400/18.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />i love u my hell's angel...<br />and yesh, the difference is that i love u...<br /><br /><a href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/1807/188/1600/23.jpg"><img style="FLOAT: left; MARGIN: 0px 10px 10px 0px; CURSOR: hand" alt="" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/1807/188/400/23.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><a href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/1807/188/1600/23.jpg"></a><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><a href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/1807/188/1600/23.jpg"></a><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><a href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/1807/188/1600/23.jpg"></a><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />even if i do (get the plague), i will still love u as much and even more than just "too much"...<br /><br />are u guys vomitin blood yet from all my nonsensical mush?<br />haha~ bye bye... off to class...<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/13718383-115493994402171826?l=ecstatic-euphoria.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>AJhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03423650476189484606noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13718383.post-1154702627498369332006-08-04T22:18:00.000+08:002006-08-04T22:43:47.700+08:00<a href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/1807/188/1600/30-06-06_1551.0.jpg"><img style="FLOAT: right; MARGIN: 0px 0px 10px 10px; CURSOR: hand" alt="" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/1807/188/320/30-06-06_1551.jpg" border="0" /></a> so this week's finally over...<br />did i mention i got hell du lan cuz my kids couldnt grasp the idea of "time" to the quater hour and half hour?<br /><br />i was du lan cuz i was wondering if i was really that bad a teacher~!<br /><br />i already tried a million ways to get them to understand me, all the various ways from cuttin up paper plates to physically drawin on a literal clock face to drawing on the board to rote learning... ARGHHHhh~! i am at my wits end~!!!<br /><br />help~! can someone provide me ideas please~!?<br /><br />anyways, i hate it wen my mom tries to go all holier- than- thou- art-and-more-helpful-than-mother-teresa on me cuz she is ALWAYS PEPPERS it WITH sarcasm~!!!<br />KaNiNAH~!<br /><br />want to help, help~ i didnt beg for u to upgrade the PC cuz it works just fine for me... so dun go all sarcastic on me and give me the wells, "i tried to help but since u are so blah blah blah yada yada yada so dun say i didnt try" speech...<br />Kao~! infact, not only did i NOT beg, i DIDNT even mention an upgrade, the people who want the upgrades is terrence and andrew...<br /><br />and honestly, i cant help it if i have assignments to do ya???<br />wat??? i dun have a personal laptop...<br />and uprooting this computer means i dun have any connection to the internet unless i sneak sometime on andrew's laptop...<br />so, yeah, watever...<br /><br />Thanks for your sarcastic offering to "help"... i somehow appreciate it...<br /><br />oh yesh, did i mention i am shagged as hell and i still have classes on tomolo? Gah~ i hate the waking up bit... i am fine with attending the class, i just abhore the waking up bit~ did i mention u detest the waking up bit?<br /><br /><br /><br />on a side note: some delivery guy delivered supplies to work today...<br />My sup was takin a count of the stock with the guy to make sure everything was there...<br />when i walked past, the delivery guy smiled at me and greeted me a very chirpy: "HELLO~!"<br />i was stumped, so was my supervisor...<br />she turned and looked at me like i was a ghost and i turned to look at her like SHE was the ghost..<br />but out of courtesy, i smiled and said softly: "err, hi.."<br />he was quite a good looker la... *GRinZzz*<br /><br />my kids who were with me were like teacher-audrey-knows-him????<br /><br />so anyways, further into the day, my sup told me the delivery guy was a graduate~<br />i was like OH~!!!!!! okie, now, at least if i decide to flirt with him, i will know he is cute, a graduate and FARKING COCK~! graduate deliver goods for wat???<br />go get a proper office job la... then again, that might actually be his business...<br /><br />heehee~ shall find out more IF and when i see him again...<br />of course it will depend very much on whether he chirpily greets me again la...<br /><br />heehee~ and i realized my ego is being fanned big huge time, all the time, at work, on the net and in reality...<br />i need to focus on being down to earth...<br />i am not perfect and i KNOW it...<br />so wells...<br />Keepin myself grounded~!<br /><br />*pauses to think*<br /><br />okie, so i dun have much much much more to say...<br />but life still goes on...<br />i still miss Muhammud Fadhil Bin Azmi...<br />i still love Muhammud Fadhil Bin Azmi...<br />nothing changes inside...<br />the world still spins...<br />my heart still beats...<br />life is still a bitch...<br />fate is still playful....<br /><br /><br />okie, SHEEP SHEEP~!<br />i love you all...<br />and i love YOU the most~!<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/13718383-115470262749836933?l=ecstatic-euphoria.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>AJhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03423650476189484606noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13718383.post-1154599914867285462006-08-03T18:01:00.000+08:002006-08-03T22:36:42.393+08:00sick and tired...<br /><br />[EDIT]<br />so i just got back from class... sianZzzz...<br />apparently, my lecturer was unhappy with us...<br />HaiXxx... i cant help it if my class is tired after a whole day at work...<br /><br />and guess wat? i woke up at 6.50 today...<br />that was freaking late~!<br />Gah~!<br /><br />and yeah, i was doodling in class again...<br /><br />anyways, the birthday is coming...<br />Sheesh~!<br />i was talking to Cindy the other day and apparently, i conveniently forgot how old i was...<br />Gah~! my brain cells are dying...<br /><br />anyways, these are on my whish list~!!!<br />the new crocs Prima Ballet Edition shoes...<br />Black pair please...<br /><br />i was out with you know who and Miss freak wen i saw it in the crocs store~!<br />OMFG~! i FELL IN LOVE WITH IT~!<br />Look at it man, its so stylo compared to the previous crocs range man~<br />least these look wearable and non duck feet like...<br /><br /><a href="http://images.bloomingdales.com/is/image/BLM/products/6/optimized/52586_fpx.tif?"><img style="FLOAT: left; MARGIN: 0px 10px 10px 0px; WIDTH: 252px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 295px" height="319" alt="" src="http://images.bloomingdales.com/is/image/BLM/products/6/optimized/52586_fpx.tif?" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><a href="http://www.journeys.com/images/products/1_45906_FS.jpg"><img style="FLOAT: left; MARGIN: 0px 10px 10px 0px; WIDTH: 320px; CURSOR: hand" alt="" src="http://www.journeys.com/images/products/1_45906_FS.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />and if u dun get me that, u can always consider gettin me <a href="http://auctions.yahoo.com/sg/i:Authentic%20Adidas%20large%20black%20jacket:98829806">THIS~</a>!!!!!!!!!!<br />HAHA~!!! my adidas jacket~!!!!<br />u can get it for me 1st hand if u have a lot of cash to spare, or you can just get it off the link above...<br /><br />HAHA~!<br /><br />okie, i am lame...<br />tired as hell...<br />still sniffling...<br />need slp...<br />u guys take care...<br />SHEEP SHEEP~!<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><span style="color:#ff6666;">IloveYOU...</span><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/13718383-115459991486728546?l=ecstatic-euphoria.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>AJhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03423650476189484606noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13718383.post-1154533524597375882006-08-02T23:06:00.000+08:002006-08-02T23:45:24.696+08:00i am glad i am still studyin, thou i hate/ detest/ abhore assignments..<br />i love class breaks cuz i get to listen to their bitch stories about stupid colleagues, dumb parents and less than lovable supervisors...<br /><br />class can be a bitch... but i am glad i have the freedom to draw and doodle... like this...<br /><br /><a href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/1807/188/1600/02-08-06_2241.jpg"><img style="FLOAT: left; MARGIN: 0px 10px 10px 0px; CURSOR: hand" alt="" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/1807/188/400/02-08-06_2241.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />and this... <a href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/1807/188/1600/02-08-06_2327.jpg"><img style="FLOAT: left; MARGIN: 0px 10px 10px 0px; CURSOR: hand" alt="" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/1807/188/400/02-08-06_2327.jpg" border="0" /></a>its incomplete...<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />Ya la, ya la, watever, my art not nice la, my doodling looks shitty la... watever, i like can liaoz~!<br /><br />so yesh, i love my classmates... most of them at least~<br /><br />and BTW, Mr Danny boy is in thailand~! Damned~! lucky arse~!!!!<br />=( i wana go too~!!!!!<br />see la, go there and leave me here alone to rot by myself...<br /><br />he bloody rubbed it into my face that hewas goin to thailand...<br />WTF~!~!~!~!~!!!~!~!!!!<br />he sms-ed me this: <span style="color:#ff9966;">"Dear dear me going thailand tomolo :-) will be back on sat :p"</span><br /><br />Grr~!!! Lucky bastard...<br />and if that wasnt enuff, he had to rub it in more just before he flew off to the land of yummylicious tom yam and sexy eye-licious trannys~!~!!!!<br /><span style="color:#ff9966;">"Bye bye flying off in 15 mins time dear hugz bye"</span><br /><br />Ah yesh, if u haven't already noticed, he doesnt use punctuation at all in his SMS-es... LOL~! or at least the only punctuations he uses are those that he pairs or triples up like these :p or :-) or ;p or u get my drift la huh?<br /><br />okie, so i am done ranting~<br />i want to go to thailand too~!!!!!<br />ARGH~!!!!<br /><br />okie, bye..<br />Sheep Sheep..<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />p/s: its odd how people would look at me and him and ask me:<br />"<span style="color:#66ff99;">You and your BF how long already ah?</span>"<br />and i would just laugh and say to them:<br />"<span style="color:#ff6666;">What?</span> -more laughin- <span style="color:#ff6666;">he's not my BF... but its a long story how we've made it thru... u wouldnt wana listen to it, u might fall into eternal sleep if i ever told u the story... </span>-continues to laugh- <span style="color:#ff6666;">but i DO mantain that i love him and him only...</span>"<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />Note to My Hell's Angel:<br /><span style="color:#ff6666;">iMISSuLIKEhellANDheavenANDearthANDsunANDmoonANDstars...</span><br /><span style="color:#ff6666;">likeAhellLotTYPEofMISS...</span><br /><span style="color:#ff6666;">iWANAseeU~!!!</span><br /><span style="color:#ff6666;">IloveU~!!!!!<br /></span><br /><span style="color:#ff6666;">foreverANDeverU'LLstayINmyHEARTandIwillLOVEyou<br />FOREVERforeverTHAT'ShowITshouldBE~</span><br /><span style="color:#ff6666;">toBEwithoutYOUwouldONLYbeHEARTACHEforME~</span><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/13718383-115453352459737588?l=ecstatic-euphoria.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>AJhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03423650476189484606noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13718383.post-1154440752696842212006-08-01T21:30:00.000+08:002006-08-01T21:59:15.983+08:00But before i start, my condolences to <strong><u>Fei</u></strong>... sorry about your grampa...<br />*HugGleZzzzz*<br />+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++<br /><br />1. <u><strong>get too stressed...</strong></u><br />i almost hyperventilated again last nite...<br />my chest hurt and i was tryin so hard to attempt to write something down but everytime i looked at my assignment, i felt like i had just been crushed against the wall by a huge truck...<br />it was crazy... so i switch off the lights and forced myself to get sleep...<br /><br />2. <u><strong>fall in love any more.</strong></u><br />i am so sick and tired of love i am just loving because...<br /><br />3. <u><strong>be too nice to people.</strong></u><br />everytime i am nice, someone has to trample on my toes like as if i owed them a lifetime... Fark those shit headed pissers.. i am me, i am nice, so dun take my kindness for weakness...<br /><br />4. <u><strong>be too trusting anymore.</strong></u><br />when i trust someone, i trust someone... not entirely, but enuff...<br />and i dun expect that trust to be broken...<br />but of course, as humans, we all expect the worst out of everyone...<br /><br />5. <u><strong>keep my tots to myself.</strong></u><br />when i verbalize my tots, i have this tendency to offend people... itz not like i do it on purpose, i just do... and more than half the time, i am just VERBALIZING my tots, i dun aim to piss people off with my comments simply cuz i know that my tots and comments might not be entirely fair to the other party...<br /><br />6. <u><strong>hole up and self mutilate anymore.</strong></u><br />i duno how, and i duno why, and i duno when.<br />but just remind me...<br /><br />7. <u><strong>peel at my the cuticles...</strong></u><br />Ouch~! i have a really sore reddened ring finger now...<br />=(<br /><br />8. <u><strong>be who i am.</strong></u><br />everyone who really knows me, knows me...<br /><em>i am a bitch, a flirt, an egotistical bitch, i always think i am rite, i always think i am perfect, i always think i am unbreakble...</em><br />but everyone who knows me for who i am knows i am<br />- weak<br />- easily broken down<br />- lonely<br />- heart broken<br />- humble<br />- sad<br />- imperfectly perfect<br />- kind<br />- caring<br />- sweet<br />- loving<br />- understanding<br />- broken<br />- suicidal<br /><br />i am not all i make myself out to be... i just am... and if it offends u, i am sorry...<br /><br />9. <strong><u>forget that Christ is to be the centre of my life.</u></strong><br />i seem to always forget, remind me again...<br /><br />and lastly:<br /><br />10. <strong><u>ever give up on searching for the one person who will make me happy once and for all...</u></strong><br />i have already found him... but seems i have to keep searching for him...<br /><br />dun get me? nevermind...<br />u know who u are...<br /><br />i am stupid, i am unworthy..<br />but i love u with all the innocence in my heart...<br /><br />i am lost, i am broken..<br />but i love u with all the imperfect perfectness of my heart...<br /><br />i am pained, i am mutilated..<br />but i love u will all the blood that flows thru my veins and out of my bloodied cuts...<br /><br />i am me, i am me...<br />and i love u with everything i am and with everything i will ever be...<br /><br />it always comes one full circle...<br />let's just wait and see how long more my heart will take to cease feeling all feelings of love...<br /><br />Aishiteru~<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/13718383-115444075269684221?l=ecstatic-euphoria.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>AJhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03423650476189484606noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13718383.post-1154339304623970332006-07-31T17:40:00.000+08:002006-07-31T20:33:28.156+08:00All the colors of the rainbow, all the voices of the wind<br />Every dream that reaches out -- that reaches out to find where love begins<br />Every word of every story, every star in every sky<br />Every corner of creation, lives to testify<br /><br /><em>For as long as I shall live, I will testify to love<br />I'll be a witness in the silences, when words are not enough<br />With every breath I take, I will give thanks to God above<br />For as long as I shall live, I will testify to love<br /></em><br />From the mountains to the valleys, from the rivers to the sea<br />Every hand that reaches out -- every hand that reaches out to offer peace<br />Every simple act of mercy, every step to kingdom come<br />All the hope in every heart, will speak what love has done<br /><br /><em>For as long as I shall live, I will testify to love<br />I'll be a witness in the silences, when words are not enough<br />With every breath I take, I will give thanks to God above<br />For as long as I shall live, I will testify to love</em><br /><br />Avalon<br /><br /><br />to hear the song <a href="http://www.geocities.com/audreyjoey_21/Avalon-TestifyToLove.mp3" target="_blank"><strong>click here</strong></a><br /><span style="font-size:85%;">it will load in your WMP...</span><br />++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++<br /><br />precious precious song...<br />precious precious lyrics...<br />SighZzz...<br /><br /><br /><u>Adapted from the song <em>Testify to love</em> by <strong>Avalon</strong></u><br /><br />The Lamb of God, Our precious One<br />Born to die, His place none else would take<br />His people spat and betrayed<br />and yet He prayed<br />for Love to set them free<br /><br />He bore the burden<br />that cross so heavy<br />every step He took<br />He took in love<br />To testify His love<br /><br />and now, <em>for as long as I shall live, I will testify to love </em><br /><em>I'll be a witness in the silences, when words are not enough </em><br /><em>With every breath I take, I will give thanks to God above </em><br /><em>For as long as I shall live, I will testify to love </em><br />+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++<br /><br />Okie, so as u can tell, i got sianz and i didnt blog about those stupid silly little parents...<br /><br />then again, lets have a debate...<br /><u>Can teachers spot tattoos?</u><br /><br />Let's be objective.<br /><br />in Singapore, many people associate tattoos with the bad asses of society.<br />while i would say that the association is mostly about right, NOT everyone falls into that category.<br />yesh, i might not be the typical looking childcare teacher, i take pictures of my boobs and post them up on the WWW, i smoke and drink, and i spot not one, but two tattoos, i dress however i want, boots and all for work and i crack silly/ dirty jokes... but does that neccessarily make me a bad teacher?<br /><br />as far as the educational system is concerned, i have done my part as a teacher, i neither smoke nor drink infront of my children and i do not expose them to the pictures of my boobs on the web. and my tattoos? wells, as far as i am concerned, they pose no danger simply because, both of them are tribal designs. one is of a dolphin and the other is of a shamrock... nothing i deem offensive nor vulgar.<br /><br />i <strong>do not</strong> spot a flamin dragon on my right shoulder, neither do i have the word B.I.T.C.H tattooed across my chest so y the big deal... and my tattoos are on my inner ankles so y the hoo haa? its not like as if i have snakes tattooed on the sides of my face or the word "gui" (Ghost) tattooed on the back of my neck, or two devils farking on my calf. and neither do i have tigers tattooed on my back nor eagles across my whole upper body, nor penises on my arms nor the words "satan" nor "devil" tattooed across my wrists~!<br /><br />and if u really must know, my dolphin tattoo signifies a new beginning. i tattooed that with my very first pay check... and as the symbol suggests, it WAS the start of a new chapter in my life...<br />and the Shamrock? wells, i just liked it. it has no other darker meaning embedded.<br /><br />and infact, i am intending to get one more! but then again, back to the question: <u>can teachers spot tattoos?<br /></u>i say yes, but only when the tattoos are <strong>neither</strong> vulgar (a vagina/ penis is outta the question) <strong>nor</strong> offensive (dragons, tigers, snakes and the likes)...<br />Yesh, i am debating a low bar debate but here are my reasons: u all mightn't agree with me...<br /><br />firstly, tattoos are already seen and recognized widely as Body Art. there have been many instances of people designing their own art works to have immortalized on their bodies. we are all but canvases, our bodies carry our art work about.<br /><br />secondly, tattoos are no longer just indications of secret societies nor cults anymore. given of course, not in all cases, this is true.<br /><br />tattoos can mean anything nowadays... special forces in the army can choose to tattoo themselves with their own symbols as a brand for easy recognition. certain cliques, NOT secret societies NOR cults, may choose to get the same power puff girl tattoo as a sign of sisterhood. a band could choose to tattoo themselves with their band's logo as a sign of unity... in many cases, a tattoo would be appropriate. i am not sayin totally necessary, i am using the word APPROPRIATE~!<br /><br />thirdly, a tattoo is <strong>NOT</strong> an indication of a person's character. Yesh, because of the way we have been brought up, we all now see a tattoo and deem it as offensive.<br />we see an advert on TV telling us to give people a second chance after they come out of jail and what do these "reformed" men in the commercials spot?<br /><strong>tattoos...</strong><br /><br />we watch TCS shows and all the criminals have certain things in common:<br />the stereotypical gaudy thick as fark goldchains<br />the stereotypical langa by lorry face<br />the stereotypical evil grin<br />AND~! TADAH~!!!!!<br />the stereotypical <strong>TATTOOS</strong>~!<br /><br /><strong><u>get a life</u></strong>, wake up and look about you.<br />a tattoo is more than just a bad symbol now.<br />a tattoo could serve as a reminder, mayb a bible verse in hebrew.<br />a tattoo could serve as a religious mark, a cross or fish on a christian.<br />a tattoo could serve as a custom/ tradition in certain tribes in africa where they still practice female genital mutilation (female curcumcision).<br />a tattoo can mean anything these days.<br /><br />so please, do not judge me just because i spot tattoos...<br />i do my part as a teacher.<br />i teach them what i have to and more.<br />i model good examples.<br />i instill morals and values in them.<br />all these i do at work.<br /><br />outside of work, my life, stay out...<br />i dun judge u wen i smell cigarette smoke on you when u open your mouth.<br />i dun judge u wen u appear at my door step lookin like u ahvent taken a bath in 5000 years.<br />i dun judge u wen u spek to me like i am some kind of servant girl.<br />infact, i didnt even judge you when u told me you FAVOURED your older girl to your younger one, who is in my class by the way, and who heard it because your voice was loud as thunder.<br /><em><span style="color:#ff6666;">Uh, Excuse me while i hurl blood in your general direction..</span></em><br />i love each and everyone of the kids in my class and i will not lead them to the wrong ways.<br /><br />so yesh, teachers <strong>CAN</strong> spot tatoos...<br />++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++<br /><br />in fact, when anyone tells me they wana get a tattoo too, i urge them to rethink the decision at least 1000 times before they make up their mind. i ALWAYS urge them to choose a design they can live with forever cuz a tattoo is permanent and not some sticker that they can remove after 4 years.<br /><br />my advice to the frens around me who want to get tattos is always the same: "are u sure? how sure are u?" and "wait a while more, dun rush into it."<br /><br />it took me 2-3 years of mulling over before i got my first tattoo done so piss off~!<br />Ugh~! i am so pissed i wana cry~!<br /><br /><em><strong><span style="font-size:180%;"><u>i am NOT a bad teacher just cuz i HAVE tattoos~!!!</u></span></strong></em><br />get that into your farking head~!!<br />++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++<br /><br />and i farking cant stand people who copy others, be it in dressing or watever and not admit it~<br />if i wore my long socks and shoes to school and u wana follow my "fashion sense", dun laugh about it, then follow it and then shoot yourself in the blasted foot when everyone askes u y u are now the one spottin the same fashion u laughed about...<br /><br />blasted shit~! get an identity... if u wana follow suit, fine by me... i am flattered... but at least admit it wen u were already blatantly questioned la~ at least say something like: "wells, i tot about it and i found it quite hip after a while..."<br />as opposed to:<br /><em><span style="color:#66ff99;">"huh? no la, this is my own fashion okie, i go out always wear so fashionable one"</span></em><br />AND later changing your stance saying:<br /><em><span style="color:#66ff99;">"this is japanese fashion, i see cleo la, elle la they all show this type of fashion."</span></em><br />AND then goin on to say:<br /><em><span style="color:#66ff99;">"this is my style, i just dun dress up to come to work."</span></em><br /><br />Oh FARK~! get a personality...<br />one minute u are known as one name and the next minute, another name...<br />how many blasted personalities do u have?<br />how can u go to the optician and tell him u duno (or worse, FORGOT~!) wat name u put down????<br /><br />WTF~! do u even know who u are anymore?<br />sheesh~!<br /><br />anyways, i am loved as i am...<br />How DARE you say that i combined my clothes wrongly and u, correctly, compared to mine? sheesh~!<br />wana look goth/ jap, go all the way~!<br />RED AND BLACK ARE MY COLOURS TO WORK~!<br />they were NEVER yours~!<br />and sorry, but uh- STRAWBERRIES DO NOT GO well with watever the fark u wore~<br />Watever~!<br /><br />anyways, even thou i am fatter than u by a million times, at least there are still men who want me... u?<br /><em><span style="color:#ff6666;">Uh, Excuse me while i hurl blood in your general direction too..</span></em><br />++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++<br /><br />okie, i am finally done ranting~<br />this has been a long post, for those who actually read, thank you for readin and tryin to understand me...<br />never be a teacher~! the job of a teacher sucks~!<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/13718383-115433930462397033?l=ecstatic-euphoria.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>AJhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03423650476189484606noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13718383.post-1154300479465957762006-07-31T06:57:00.000+08:002006-07-31T07:01:19.483+08:00there wasn't and never will be a reason y we all act the way we do...<br />there is no explanation y i would do wat i did and why i reacted the way i did...<br /><br />i just did.<br /><br />there was no thought involved, no emotions involved.<br />it was all out of pure fun...<br /><br />we'll see how it goes...<br />if my conscience bites me...<br />but for now, i have one (mayb 2) more hurdle(s) to over come...<br />its not gona be easy but hey~<br />no one said i was neither angelic nor perfect...<br /><br />i just am.<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/13718383-115430047946595776?l=ecstatic-euphoria.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>AJhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03423650476189484606noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13718383.post-1154250183028422162006-07-30T16:43:00.000+08:002006-07-30T23:11:13.606+08:00Joshie boy went over to Aussie already...<br />here are some of the pictures we took...<br />most of the rest are with Mr <em>Atas-i-drive-my-dad's-mazarati</em>...<br /><br />i am not gona re-size, i am nursing a blasted headache again~<br />UGH~!<br /><br />1.<br /><a href="http://photobucket.com" target="_blank"><img alt="Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting" src="http://i60.photobucket.com/albums/h36/ajlestervan21/DSC01557.jpg" border="0" /></a><br />so here is andrew striking a b12yan b0y (typed like that so i dun get throngs of people coming here accidentally) pose...<br /><br />2.<br /><a href="http://photobucket.com" target="_blank"><img alt="Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting" src="http://i60.photobucket.com/albums/h36/ajlestervan21/DSC01567.jpg" border="0" /></a><br />fei strikin an emo pose...<br /><br />3.<br /><a href="http://photobucket.com" target="_blank"><img alt="Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting" src="http://i60.photobucket.com/albums/h36/ajlestervan21/DSC01569.jpg" border="0" /></a><br />fei and i tryin to act ugly... but of course, given our good genes, we couldnt help lookin uber cute in the end~! LOL~!<br /><br />and these, i present to you, are the boys who turned up that day...<br />4.<br /><a href="http://photobucket.com" target="_blank"><img alt="Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting" src="http://i60.photobucket.com/albums/h36/ajlestervan21/DSC01562.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><br />5.<br /><a href="http://photobucket.com" target="_blank"><img alt="Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting" src="http://i60.photobucket.com/albums/h36/ajlestervan21/DSC01560.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><br />6.<br /><a href="http://photobucket.com" target="_blank"><img alt="Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting" src="http://i60.photobucket.com/albums/h36/ajlestervan21/DSC01577.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><br />7.<br /><a href="http://photobucket.com" target="_blank"><img alt="Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting" src="http://i60.photobucket.com/albums/h36/ajlestervan21/DSC01580.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><br />and now, the boys acting silly...<br />8.<br /><a href="http://photobucket.com" target="_blank"><img alt="Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting" src="http://i60.photobucket.com/albums/h36/ajlestervan21/DSC01565.jpg" border="0" /></a><br />the SA(ASS) boys reunion...<br /><br />9.<br /><a href="http://photobucket.com" target="_blank"><img alt="Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting" src="http://i60.photobucket.com/albums/h36/ajlestervan21/DSC01575.jpg" border="0" /></a><br />acting gay...<br /><br />10.<br /><a href="http://photobucket.com" target="_blank"><img alt="Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting" src="http://i60.photobucket.com/albums/h36/ajlestervan21/DSC01564.jpg" border="0" /></a><br />acting EVEN gayer~<br /><br />and...<br />11.<br /><a href="http://photobucket.com" target="_blank"><img alt="Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting" src="http://i60.photobucket.com/albums/h36/ajlestervan21/DSC01561.jpg" border="0" /></a><br />the GAYEST pair~!<br /><br />haha... can u guess who Mr <em>cock-slap and wedgie</em> is?<br />and who Mr <em>i-am-so-atas-cuz-i-drive-my-dad's-mazarati</em> is?<br />and who Mr <em>i-am-so-colourful-the-pride-flag-looks-dull-beside-me</em> is?<br /><br />see the last pic? picutre 11?<br />haha, the guy in white is Mr <em>cock-slap and wedgie</em>...<br /><br />and see picture 5?<br />Mr <em>i-am-so-atas-cuz-i-drive-my-dad's-mazarati</em> is the second one in black from the left, beside Joshie Boi...<br /><br />and see the same picture 5?<br />Mr <em>i-am-so-colourful-the-pride-flag-looks-dull-beside-me</em> is the second last one is white beside Mr<em> cock-slap and wedgie</em>...<br /><br />okie, i wana go kunz a little then get up to do some work..<br />Gah~!<br />i hate Assignments~!<br /><br />and isnt Mr <em>cock-slap and wedgie</em> worth my time musing about? he's kinda cute aye? i am still all over the fact tt he walks like someone shoved a pencil inbetween his buttchecks and told him to hold it there while he walks about... ROFLMAO...<br /><br />oh yesh, thank you Alvin for finally agreeing to let me have all the info to the website... i look forward to the email...<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/13718383-115425018302842216?l=ecstatic-euphoria.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>AJhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03423650476189484606noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13718383.post-1154107480450788462006-07-29T01:06:00.000+08:002006-07-29T01:40:57.236+08:00So we sent joshie boi off today...<br />he's now officially an australian...<br />I WANA GO THERE TOO~!!!!<br />GAH~!<br /><br />anyways, he's got interesting frens...<br />one really Atas one...<br />si beh kiam pah face but rather cute...<br />two very quiet ones...<br />one looks rather <em>*Ahem*</em> colourful...<br />and the last one?<br />HAHA~!<br />is quite talented... apparently, he can cock-slap...<br /><br />wats funnier actually, is the way his arse shakes wen he walks, fei and i were commentin tt he walks without having his upper body move... only his legs and arse moves... very cute... and he said he was wearing spandex so thus the gait... SUPERMAN~!<br />eternal wedgie more like it... LOL~!<br /><br />yeah yeah, i admit, Mr cock-slap/ wedgie is cute too... LOL~!<br /><br />anyways, will post pics of Mr <em>i-am-so-atas-cuz-my-dad-is-rich-and-i-drive-my-dad's-mazerati</em> and also Mr <em>cock-slap-and-wedgie</em> and Mr <em>i-am-so-colourful-the-pride-flag-looks-dull-beside-me</em>... Heehee...<br /><br />i'll slap you with my cock... *looks at fei and does d cock swinging action~!*<br /><br /><em>a million mentions of cock-slap... hehe...</em><br /><em>i wonder y...</em><br /><em>is he really that cute??</em><br /><em></em><br /><em>or mayb i just cant get the images of him walking about with his tight superman underwear... LOL~! i am still sniggering about it... </em><br /><em>so much so, i went onto frenster to search for him, just to send him a message that contains the word: Wedgie..</em><br /><em></em><br /><em>HAHA~!</em><br />uber boh liaoz hor?<br /><br />so yesh, more about joshie boi...<br />haiXxx... i literally watched this guy, and the rest of course, grown up from wee little yet to break voices, into these sex crazed nymphs... i'll miss the little bugger... i will always remember him as my brother's "Girlfriend" cuz he used to call our house a million times wen we were younger and he sounded like a little girl...<br />HaiXxxx...<br /><br />joshie boi and my brother even attempted to run away once together... LOL~!<br /><br /><span style="color:#ff6666;">wells, its been a long way joshie boi, i enjoy the times where we used to bitch about stuff together and all the times u would sleep over and we would share ciggies and just act silly...</span><br /><span style="color:#ff6666;">u will always be that little boi... the other brother i used to jab at and the god-son my father acknowledged...</span><br /><span style="color:#ff6666;"></span><br /><span style="color:#ff6666;">u go there and do well kkz? dun be stupid anymore... love isnt as great as u think... its heart break after heart break till the right one comes along... you're still young... stabilize your life first before u embark on anything else... u'll be sorely missed... =) *HugGlezZzz*</span><br /><br />okie, so i am done for tonite... been up since 6.15am...<br />i need slp~!<br />and i have my blasted assignment due~!<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />and just for the sake of it and for the gossip-mongers...<br />i am STILL thinkin of cock-slap's gait~!!<br />(^.^)\/<br />*GrinZzzz*<br /><br /><br /><br />**coming up in the next post IF i get down to it: <strong><u>Parents who act all chummy with me and then turn around to bite my sexy arse...</u></strong><br />excuse the potential bitching, i just hate people who act all chummy with me but turn ard two seconds later to bite my sexy arse... if anf when anyone ever decides to do something like tt, the common phrase i always use should come to your mind: dun let me find out~!<br />i farking hate it... farking hell hate it...<br /><br /><strong><u>A little snipet:</u></strong><br /><em>..........for fark's sake, if u have something to say, SAY IT STRAIGHT into my face~! i might have TWO tattoos but that doesnt make me a bloody chao ah lian... i became a teacher... give me some credit for that... i am not sayin teachers are perfect neither am i sayin they aren't... but we all have our own little ways of rebelling against societies too... </em><br /><em></em><br /><em>and guess wat~?~! i am a blasted non-conformist~! and BECAUSE i am a non-conformist, i had TWO tattoos done... and YESH~! i AM considering gettin more... so get a life and dun judge me... least, even with my tattos, i look better than u all the gawd damned time~!</em><br /><em>HA~! my physical body might be unclean but trust me wen i say i dun smoke infront of my class and proclaim that smoking and other kinds of vices are bad...</em><br /><em></em><br /><em>least infront of my class, i am an angel... LITERALLY...</em><br /><em>so shut up and dun judge me by my tattoos........</em><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/13718383-115410748045078846?l=ecstatic-euphoria.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>AJhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03423650476189484606noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13718383.post-1153990675551864872006-07-27T16:52:00.000+08:002006-07-27T22:35:19.986+08:00BOOBIES~!<br />LOL~!<br /><br /><strong><span style="font-size:130%;"><u><a href="http://community.livejournal.com/gothic_babes/7827207.html" target="_blank">Click HERE~!!!</a></u></span></strong><br /><br />haha... its NreallySFW so please dun bother to click while you're there...<br /><br />HEHE~<br />TV time, mayb i'll blog properly later...<br />for now, just stare at ma boobies~!<br /><br />ShEepSHeep...<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />p/s: JY, shutup... i dun need to hear it from you again about me flashin my boobs to everyone else 'cept you...<br />+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++<br />[EDIT] -Random blog spot post-<br /><br />this is bad... everytime i'm sick, i crave chocolates...<br />chocolates in any form, from chocolate bars to chocolate cakes to chocolate cookies to chocolate based drinks...<br /><br />from high class chocolates with alcohol filled centers to cheap skate leaves-a-bad-after-taste in your mouth kind... its just a craving...<br /><br />so now, i am eating anything with choclate...<br />chocolate cakes, chocolate cookies, chocolate plates, chocolate forks and chocolate spoons, chocolate houses, chocolate chairs, chocolate cups... can u tell i am almost mad from all the craving?<br /><br />i still want my white chocolate macadamia nut subway cookies... *dances about and falls to the floor in a huge heap...*<br /><br />and now i also crave <a class="yschttl" href="http://rds.yahoo.com/_ylt=A0oGkkBOw8hEoAcA4L5XNyoA;_ylu=X3oDMTE2Mzl0bXAxBGNvbG8DdwRsA1dTMQRwb3MDMQRzZWMDc3IEdnRpZANERlg1XzMw/SIG=11dfuo15l/EXP=1154094286/**http://www.toblerone.com/">Toblerone</a>... white or dark please..<br />i am fine with the normal regular chocolates but i prefer the white and dark ones more...<br /><br />and if that is not enuff, i am craving chocolate fudge cake or even triple chocolate anything~!!!<br />GRrr... i dun like being sick and itz worse that i have cravings for choclates...<br />that is probably why, contrary to popular belief, i actually PUT ON weight whenever fall tragically sick...<br /><br />anyways, i am in the midst of searching for a new blogskin... i find my current one too happy-go-lucky...<br />haha... i wana get back my old emo-dark blogskins...<br /><br />or mayb i should just carry out a slashing fest, take some perfectly bloody pictures of my perfectly bloody slashed up self and set it as BG in my blog template aye? we'll see...<br />HAHA~!<br /><br />okie, i need to go.. did i mention i have a blasted assignment due on the 2nd of august and yet HERE I AM BLOGGIN LIKE AS IF TML WOULDNT COME~! WTF~ I NEED TO STOP PROCRASTINATING~!!!!<br /><br />can i pay someone to do my work for me please?<br />any volunteers????<br /><br />and to add to my already VERY random post, a splinter got into my skin (on the side of my thumb) just now and i had to cut the whole damned piece out cuz by the time i realized it was a splinter and not some random itch, i had already scratched it and pushed it farther into my skin... Stupid me~!<br /><br />so i tried to squeeze it out but it didnt work so i had to cut deep enuff into the skin to get rid of it... it still looks okie now, the cut... but it hurts... i hope the pain doesnt worsen tml...<br />*curses and swears at the blasted splinter..*<br /><br />okie, i am about to crash again... TV time again...<br />and here i am complaining of an almost due assignment...<br />Gah~<br />nevermind, after work tml... i have friday afternoon, saturday afternoon, sunday afternoon, monday afternoon, tuesday afternoon and wednesday afternoon...<br />DAMNED~! i will NEVER get down to doin my work~!<br /><br />okie la... bye bye~!<br />and just a kiss for all of you before i go~!<br />i am NOT gona resize...<br />my blog, my pictures, my business...<br /><br /><a href="http://photobucket.com" target="_blank"><img alt="Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting" src="http://i60.photobucket.com/albums/h36/ajlestervan21/DSC00508.jpg" border="0" /></a><br />sorry about the messy room~!<br />hahaha... anyone who wants to marry me better learn to live in a cradle of filth...<br />haha~! i'm so lame~!<br />SHEEP SHEEP~!<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/13718383-115399067555186487?l=ecstatic-euphoria.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>AJhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03423650476189484606noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13718383.post-1153922438278932432006-07-26T21:37:00.000+08:002006-07-26T22:00:38.393+08:00<a href="http://photobucket.com" target="_blank"><img style="WIDTH: 314px; HEIGHT: 228px" height="363" alt="Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting" src="http://i60.photobucket.com/albums/h36/ajlestervan21/DSC01474.jpg" width="527" border="0" /></a><br />this little one here is one of the boys who brighten my day with their impeccable sense of adult humour thanks to TV watching and such...<br />there was once, i walked into his class and he stood up, struck a really cool pose, pointed at me and went: let's get it on...<br />i stared at him and burst out laughin for the next 5 mins cuz i found it so hilarious~!<br /><br /><a href="http://photobucket.com" target="_blank"><img style="WIDTH: 309px; HEIGHT: 228px" alt="Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting" src="http://i60.photobucket.com/albums/h36/ajlestervan21/DSC01431.jpg" border="0" /></a><br />Haha, little baby was sleepy but i still disturbed her by opening up the cage to take pictures of her...<br /><br /><a href="http://photobucket.com" target="_blank"><img style="WIDTH: 322px; HEIGHT: 228px" alt="Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting" src="http://i60.photobucket.com/albums/h36/ajlestervan21/DSC01513.jpg" border="0" /></a><br />this is little baby having a quiet moment on my palm after climbing about all over me...<br /><br /><a href="http://photobucket.com" target="_blank"><img style="WIDTH: 318px; HEIGHT: 228px" alt="Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting" src="http://i60.photobucket.com/albums/h36/ajlestervan21/DSC01466.jpg" border="0" /></a><br />our dear little ricky.<br />the one live thing my grampa left behind for us...<br />it was this little dog tt helped us to realize that behind the really stubborn and hard facade, my grandfather HAD a heart...<br /><br />this dog is the luckiest in our neighbourhood... he was literally picked up from the thrash, blistered paws, matted fur and all by my grampa... and now, he leads a very happy life...eat sleep eat sleep... haha... dun be mislead by the picture, he isnt as skinny as he is, he only looks skinny cuz i am the photographer and i have a knack for makin people look slimmer by takin picturs from flattering angles...<br /><br />haha, quite like how i make myself look skinny too~!<br />Look? he's actually quite pudgy...<br /><a href="http://photobucket.com" target="_blank"><img style="WIDTH: 237px; HEIGHT: 326px" alt="Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting" src="http://i60.photobucket.com/albums/h36/ajlestervan21/DSC01464.jpg" border="0" /></a><br />HAHA...<br /><br />okie, wells, this is the sequel to comics i ATTEMPTED previously...<br />=)<br />this one's called: social gathering...<br /><a href="http://photobucket.com" target="_blank"><img alt="Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting" src="http://i60.photobucket.com/albums/h36/ajlestervan21/SocialGathering.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><br />and this one's called: wishing<br /><a href="http://photobucket.com" target="_blank"><img alt="Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting" src="http://i60.photobucket.com/albums/h36/ajlestervan21/wishing.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><br />okie, so i am done...<br />gota go...<br />but of course, no photo log is complete if the is no HUGE ASS picture of my own face... so HERE~! ENJOY~!<br />this is me in church~!<br />romantic ah, the lighting?<br /><a href="http://photobucket.com" target="_blank"><img alt="Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting" src="http://i60.photobucket.com/albums/h36/ajlestervan21/DSC01451.jpg" border="0" /></a><br />i was wearing hairband... Shuttup about the hair~!<br /><br />and i <u><strong>might</strong></u> just decide to place up more pictures of my cle-veage on the gothic_babes webby... so stay tuned... lol~!<br /><br />okie done~!<br />SHEEP SHEEP~!<br /><br />iMISSyou...<br />WUFFyew...<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/13718383-115392243827893243?l=ecstatic-euphoria.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>AJhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03423650476189484606noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13718383.post-1153836722094988002006-07-25T21:20:00.000+08:002006-07-25T22:14:20.843+08:00<u><span style="font-size:85%;color:#ffff33;">DISCLAIMER: I SHALL BE IN NO WAY HELD RESPONSIBLE FOR WHATEVER I AM ABOUT TO TYPE IN HERE NOT BECAUSE I DUN FEEL THIS WAY ABOUT SOME OF THE PARENTS BUT BECAUSE I AM AN IMPERFECT CHILDCARE TEACHER IN AN IMPERFECT WORLD... </span></u><br /><u><span style="font-size:85%;color:#ffff33;"></span></u><br /><u><span style="font-size:85%;color:#ffff33;">TEACHERS ARE NOT PERFECT~! SO GET THAT BLASTED IDEA OUTTA YOUR BLASTED HEAD... OUTSIDE OF OFFICE HOURS, WE ARE ENTITLED TO DO WAT WE WISH AS LONG AS WE DO NOT BREAK THE LAW SO DUN GIVE ME A LECTURE ABOUT HOW WE SHOULD BE ROLE MODELS ALL THE TIME AND ASSUMING WE WILL MEET THE CHILDREN WE WORK WITH 24/7 WHERE EVER WE GO... </span></u><br /><u><span style="font-size:85%;color:#ffff33;"></span></u><br /><u><span style="font-size:85%;color:#ffff33;">IF YOU, AS A PARENT, HAVE TAKEN OFFENCE, I SINCERELY APOLOGISE CUZ YOU CAN BE ASSURED I AM NOT TAKING ABOUT U...</span></u><br /><u><span style="font-size:85%;color:#ffff33;"></span></u><br /><u><span style="font-size:85%;color:#ffff33;">IN HERE, I AM TALKIN ABOUT TWO SPECIFIC PARENTS AND I DOUBT EITHER ONE WOULD BE YOU...</span></u><br /><u><span style="font-size:85%;color:#ffff33;">UNLESS OF COURSE U CAN PROVE IT BY SHOWING ME HOW STUPID AND ASSUMING YOU ARE, JUST AS THESE TWO HAVE PROVEN...</span></u><br /><br /><strong><u>STUPID FARKED UP PARENTS</u></strong><br /><strong><u></u></strong><br />i wonder y i have to meet people like that all the time...<br />do i have the words <span style="color:#ff6666;"><em>"I am nice, confide in me in excess..."</em></span> plastered all over my face???<br />WTF is wrong with parents these days?<br /><br />some of them are so nice, so angelic, so sweet, so caring...<br />and then there are those who take advantage of me cuz i have a ready smile for anyone who walks thru my door who doesnt have a face i wana bash up... <em>(which is almost everyone by the way...)<br /></em><br />so i be nice, cuz audrey is nice...<br />but when push comes to shove, oh boy, my feathers get ruffled...<br />and if i say something once and am expected to repeat it a million times over, ttz when i get so pissed i wana slap your silly stupid little face cuz i hate silly stupid people....<br /><br />i hate stupid people who require me to make a suggestion a good 5 billion times before it is taken into consideration... and mind you, tt is <strong>AFTER</strong> i was ASKED/ BEGGED to suggest a solution..<br /><br />and uh, just one point, i am a childcare/ kindergarten teacher...<br />which also makes me a:<br /><ul><li>nurse</li><li>doctor</li><li>lawyer</li><li>police officer</li><li>plumber</li><li>electrician</li><li>mathematist</li><li>scientist</li><li>biologist</li><li>witch</li><li>judge</li><li>santa clause</li><li>dictionary</li><li>shopkeeper</li><li>encyclopedia</li><li>wizard</li><li>clown</li><li>joker</li><li>maid</li><li>artist</li><li>cook</li><li>cleaner</li><li>choreographer</li><li>musician</li><li>watever else u can think of that a childcare/ kindergarten teacher is supposed to be...</li></ul><p></p>but the one thing i am <strong><u>NOT</u></strong> and CAN NEVER BE, is GOD...<br />and i DUN WANT to be God... so can you parents get a farking life and stop assuming that just because you are at your wits end, that i can automatically and for sure offer you another alternative that hasnt already been tried...<br /><br />honestly, it isnt that we childcare/ kindergarten teachers dun want to go the extra mile for the children we work with... we all do... but there is only so much a person can do... and there is only that much time we can spare after taking time off to eat our lunches, dinners, take baths, take shits, piss a little, sleep, prepare for work, do our own personal work...<br /><br />if every workable and legal option and solution has already been implemented by us AND you, then wat else do u want us to do? the illegal options and solutions?<br /><br />that would be simple to do in a perfect world where everyone is perfect and every solution to every perfect problem is perfect but WAKE UP... SMELL THE SHIT PILE YOUR BLOODY ROSE IS ON... NOTHING IS PERFECT...<br /><br />YOUR CHILD NEEDS HELP... SERIOUS HELP... he needs to see a psychologist...<br />please, spend the blasted money on the doctor instead of the teachers... we cant promise u anything and if we bestow special attention on your child whom u say is a special case, then i say to u...<br /><br />OTHER PARENTS (not all), unlike you, HAVE A LIFE TOO... and their main primary goal in life is to defame teachers by accusing them of showing favouratism in oh- so- perfect singapore where ideal childcare policies frown upon favouratism...<br /><br />so, say i go out with you to placate your child who is TOO BLASTED SHY TO TALK TO ME PROPERLY IN CLASS but is ENTIRELY CAPABLE OF MAKIN A FOOL OF HIMSELF AND GETTIN HIMSELF INTO IRRITATING TROUBLE, and another parent sees us, WTF DO I TELL THEM??<br /><em><span style="color:#ff6666;">"Oh, heh~ special case la..."</span></em><br />Believe you, me, miraculously (or mayb not so miraculously), the VERY NEXT DAY, MORE SPECIAL cases WILL pop up~!<br /><br />i have two other children in my class who are "special cases" too, so say i spend one day with you and one day with them each and this goes one, where does tt leave me? rottin in the blasted drain from all the interaction??<br /><br />dun get me wrong, i love the kids i work with... i just dislike some of the parents that, very unfortunately, come with the kids i work with... they think their children are little angels who come to school like little angels, behave like little angels for the 4 hours and go home little angels...<br /><br />for the most part of my class, u could somehow say tt yesh, they remian little angels for the most part of the day... but the remaining few??<br /><span style="color:#ff6666;">Uh, excuse me while i hurl blood in your general direction...</span><br /><br />the little devils are not as angelic as they make themselves out to be...<br />and the only probable reason someone could spit in your child's face is cuz your child did something to deserve it...<br /><br />so given, one day YOU whack your child silly and say she was naughty, would I believe you?<br />NO <em>*proceeds to spit in your blasted face*</em>, simply cuz u think your precious little one is incapable of anything naughty......<br />and for you to now turn ard to say she was naughty and deserved such a whacking is beyond me... ironic...<br /><br />i am nice, i maintain that for the most part, i am nice...<br />but when push comes to shove ESPECIALLY when i just came back from MC and am still nursing a blasted leaky nose and thrashy headache, i am NOT NICE~!<br /><br />and offering to buy me lunch is NOT a good enuff excuse for calling my PERSONAL handphone number DURING office hours and beyond... unlike you, again i repeat, I HAVE A LIFE LIKE THOSE OTHER PARENTS~!<br /><br />bad enuff u take up my lesson time whining for half an hour with your son, not gettin my hints that you were disturbing and disrupting my class with your nonsensical questions and requests, u STILL HAD THE FARKING BLASTED CHEEK TO CALL ME TO TALK ABOUT THE SAME DAMNED THING I HAD ALREADY GIVEN YOU AN OPTION AND SOLUTION FOR~!<br /><br />FARK~!<br />ARE YOU STUPID OR WHAT?<br />I FELT LIKE BLASTING YOU WITH MY ATAS ENGLISH, INSULTING YOU WITH A FOREIGN ACCENT AND THEN GETTIN SOMEONE TO TRANSLATE IT INTO CATONESE FOR YOU SO YOU WOULD ONLY GET THE INSULT 5 HOURS LATER...<br /><br />KA NI NA BU CHAO CHEE BYE<br />TIU LEI LOU MOU<br />NI NAU HIA...<br /><br />le jiak ba bo sai pang, but wa wu okie~!<br />le bo mik kia zho, but wa wu okie~!<br />wa bo a neh zui si kang ka le talk cock sing song okie~!<br />i am a teacher, a:<br /><ul><li>nurse</li><li>doctor</li><li>lawyer</li><li>police officer</li><li>plumber</li><li>electrician</li><li>mathematist</li><li>scientist</li><li>biologist</li><li>witch</li><li>judge</li><li>santa clause</li><li>dictionary</li><li>shopkeeper</li><li>encyclopedia</li><li>wizard</li><li>clown</li><li>joker</li><li>maid</li><li>artist</li><li>cook</li><li>cleaner</li><li>choreographer</li><li>musician</li><li>watever else u can think of that a childcare/ kindergarten teacher is supposed to be...</li></ul><p>GRRRrrr... get a life...<br />i already have my own to live with problems attached... so get your own set of problems solved and dun ask me to do something i have already told you, is beyond my capabilities...</p>GRrr... okie, i am done ranting...<br />take care the rest of you people...<br />Sheep Sheep...<br />+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++<br /><br />from the above post, can u even tell i was pissed?<br />i almost burst out in tears during work today cuz of stupid parents~<br />like WTF MAN~!?<br />cant people take hints these days?<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/13718383-115383672209498800?l=ecstatic-euphoria.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>AJhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03423650476189484606noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13718383.post-1153748587259089272006-07-24T21:38:00.000+08:002006-07-24T21:43:07.280+08:00<div align="center"><a href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/1807/188/1600/Bear%20Bear.jpg"><img style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; CURSOR: hand; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/1807/188/400/Bear%20Bear.jpg" border="0" /></a>And now, i present to you this picture of JY's bear bear....</div><div align="center">Who LOOKS like he got brutally raped by her (JY herself)...</div><div align="center">Wat a sad lookin bear...</div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/13718383-115374858725908927?l=ecstatic-euphoria.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>AJhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03423650476189484606noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13718383.post-1153743003346424372006-07-24T19:04:00.000+08:002006-07-24T21:02:19.680+08:00[EDITED]<br /><strong><u>ARE YOU WILLING TO CUT THE ROPE?</u></strong><br /><br />so this pastor came up and told us a story about faith and perseverance...<br />on tenacity, i know...<br /><br />but on faith, here is a story (language improved) re-told a million times over...<br /><br /><span style="color:#9999ff;">"There was a man, a mountain climber, who went on an expedition. And on that expedition, it started to grow very cold as it started to snow as he climbed up the mountain of choice... His eyes stung from the bitter cold, he's limbs, stiff, but he climbed on... </span><br /><span style="color:#9999ff;"></span><br /><span style="color:#9999ff;">As night fell and he was already halfway up the mountain, he slipped and fell quite a distance, but the safety rope that held him was pulled taut and he managed to save himself from the fall. </span><br /><span style="color:#9999ff;"></span><br /><span style="color:#9999ff;">As he hung there cold and shivering in the dark, he cried out to God: <strong>"GOD, HELP ME~!"</strong> </span><br /><span style="color:#9999ff;">And he heard God's voice call back in the deep of night: <strong>"DO U TRUST ME?"</strong></span><br /><span style="color:#9999ff;">To this, the man replied without hesitation: <strong>"YES..."</strong></span><br /><span style="color:#9999ff;">And God spoke back firmly: <strong>"THEN CUT THE ROPE..."</strong></span><br /><span style="color:#9999ff;"></span><br /><span style="color:#9999ff;">The man was taken aback... <em>What? Cut the rope?</em> he thought... <em>But that is my only line of safety...</em></span><br /><span style="color:#9999ff;">So instead of listening to God, and excercising faith, he held on to the rope that held him up and refused to let go...</span><br /><span style="color:#9999ff;"></span><br /><span style="color:#9999ff;">When morning broke and the rescuers found him, there he was frozen to death with this hand still gripping the rope. What the resucuers noticed though, was that they had found him hanging merely ten feet above the ground below..."</span><br /><br />Had this man deployed faith when asked to, he would have escaped sure death.<br />A fall of ten feet into snow might cause some bruising, a broken limb or something, but safety from the cold could surely be found...<br /><br />God never asks us to do something that would harm us... Instead, He tests us to our limits, to strenghten us... Our faith, our love for Him...<br />Are YOU willing to cut that rope, to move out of your comfort zone and to take the leap of faith?<br /><br /><em>I am trying... and i will continue to try...</em><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><span style="font-size:85%;color:#ff6666;"><em>and once again i look upon the cross where You died, </em></span><br /><span style="font-size:85%;color:#ff6666;"><em>i'm humbled by Your mercy and i'm broken inside,</em></span><br /><span style="font-size:85%;color:#ff6666;"><em>and once again i thank you, </em></span><br /><span style="font-size:85%;color:#ff6666;"><em>once again i pour out my life...</em></span><br />[/EDITED]<br />+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++<br /><strong><u>Yeah, i was smiling... </u></strong><br /><br />and i am not goin to justify it or tell u a farking long lie about the smile...<br /><br />infact, i will tell u y i said i wasn't happy despite the smile...<br />i said i was wasnt happy about it cuz i know u were disappointed...<br />and no, dspite the smile, i WAS unhappy that u were disappointed...<br />the smile was for myself cuz as much as i love u, i have somehow along the way learnt to be selfish and unfeeling in the most part of my heart...<br />and i hate tt part in me and am tryin to revert to my old tap water self again...<br /><br />i am not justifying the smile, i just dun want u to think tt i enjoy seeing u in tt state same state i detest to be in...<br /><br />being happy about the situation and being happy about u being in the situation are two TOTALLY different things...<br /><br />so, yeah, sorry if u felt the smile inappropriate...<br />++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++<br /><br />okie, so apart from tt, it was out atroopin to orchard road after church..<br />Wah lau... its been so long since i've been to orchard...<br />no shopping thou...<br />no money liaoz~!<br />haha..<br /><br />i wana try to save money from now on...<br />(NOTE: ask me again in two weeks if i managed to... HAHA~!)<br /><br />so i am not feeling well...<br />nose leak and sticky throat...<br />this morning it was worse, i had like really wet watery and red eyes...<br />and i felt like total hell...<br />everything was all over the place so i promptly crawled back into the warmness of my bed...<br /><br />and let me be honest for a while kkz?<br /><s>i've</s> she's has created an unseen boundary...<br />call me stupid but i let the boundary be put there so i dun do something crazy...<br />i could have turned it down but i didn't...<br /><br />i need boundaries...<br />and i need boundaries so i dun lose myself again in the midst of all the turmoils tt come with love...<br /><br />and at the end of it all, even if i succeed again, i know it will never last cuz love is only fleetin wen it involves everyone else but u...<br /><br />my mom is acting the part of "mother mary" again...<br />if she got offered to take on the role of mother mary like paris hilton was offered, i can assure u the amount of people protesting would be ten fold~!<br /><br />okie, wells, i have to go... till i have more time to lament..<br />Sheep Sheep peps...<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/13718383-115374300334642437?l=ecstatic-euphoria.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>AJhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03423650476189484606noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13718383.post-1153589462947844482006-07-23T00:47:00.000+08:002006-07-23T01:31:03.110+08:00how true tt is...<br />but nevermind cuz i am finally convinced of the fact tt my assumptions were right..<br />everything i tot, is now confirmed and i am glad...<br />haha, i would really like to see how things turn out but WTH, do i really care?<br />if only for entertainment value tt i keep myself glued to the screen...<br /><br />so i had a night out with <a href="http://shindigger.blogspot.com">JY</a> and <a href="http://missfreak87.blogspot.com">Miss Freak</a>...<br />heh~ t'was fun...<br /><br />i am hell slpy now but i am sitting here in the computer room transfering files to the computer cuz i wana return the CDs to Unlce Stephen tml...<br /><br />okie, so i am done...<br />so, Sheep sheep...<br />ZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz...................<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/13718383-115358946294784448?l=ecstatic-euphoria.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>AJhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03423650476189484606noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13718383.post-1153403593736058142006-07-20T21:33:00.000+08:002006-07-20T23:12:03.490+08:00MARRY A PIANIST~!!!<br /><br />and i have found the one i wana marry...<br />but he is dead~!!!!<br />DEAD~!!!!<br /><br />the name of this guy is: Vladimir Horowitz<br />he is one of the greatest pianist tt ever lived...<br />listen to him:<br /><a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j1hgzvuR-tk">here</a><br />..........<br /><a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XebJY_y4zrE">here</a><br />..........<br /><a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WOXO4WcBkuo">here<br /></a>..........<br /><a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aNWE9ffHvhg">here<br /></a>..........<br /><a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j1hgzvuR-tk">here<br /></a>..........<br /><a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rWtP9Vw5eec">here</a><br />..........<br />and if u feel u need more more more of this great dead old guy, please go <a href="http://youtube.com/results?related=Vladimir%20Horowitz">here</a> to see AND hear more of him...<br />isnt he just so sexy on tt piano?<br />Awww... like a little puppy...<br />i'd marry him and call him grampa and ask him to play the piano for me day in day out, night in night out...<br />ARgh~!!! i love musicians...<br />i love the way they look wen they are concentrated on making music with their instruments...<br /><br /><strong>i love drummers~!</strong> <em>*the sweat the sweat the sweat~!!*<br /></em><strong>i love pianists~!</strong> <em>*their sexy fingers and gorgeous music*</em><br /><strong>i love guitarists~!</strong> <em>*i love their look of concentrated bliss* </em><br /><strong>i love saxaphonists~!</strong> <em>*would u please notice the crunched up face, like as if in such sexy agony??*<br /></em><strong>i love bassists~!</strong> <em>*refer to guitarists, add in gloomy, lookin cool look...*</em><br /><strong>i love love love love musicians...<br /></strong>+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++<br /><br /><br />and <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uMu4B8ucomQ">here</a> is some guy who re-did CANON by JOHANN PACHELBEL... did i spell tt right???<br /><br />and HAHA, it oddly sounds like X-japan's Hideto Matsumoto's "Lemoned i'Scream"~! okie, rather, it sounds like a mix between X-japan and Hide la~!<br />haha~!<br />+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++<br /><br />and i am breaking out in pimples~!<br />i hate it wen tt time of the blasted month draws near~!<br />GRRRrrrrr....<br />i wouldnt say i have perfect skin but i dun have stupid pimples all over my face like some alien infestation during those other times of the month~!<br />GRRrrrr....<br /><br />and i have a rather short fuse these days...<br />i cant stand baseless sarcasm these days...<br />even with my children, i tend to raise my voice a little early and i always apologise for my short fuse... poor children... least they still love me...<br /><br />during the excursion, Isaac, my little baby, was shouting with praveen and the rest, tt he loved me... AWWww... everyone was like: <em><span style="color:#9999ff;">"why is Teacher Audrey's children shouting in the botanical gardens tt they love her?"</span></em> and <span style="color:#9999ff;">"did she teach them to say that?"</span><br />wells, the answer to the second question is: <span style="color:#ff6666;">"No, i didnt teach them to say tt, they picked it themselves..."</span><br /><br />anyways, i have finally replaced my POLO RALPH BLACK perfume...<br />i missed its scent cuz i got paranoid and stopped using it...<br />it looked like it was finishing so i heart pain loh...<br /><br />heh~ so now, since i have replaced it, i can use it again~!<br />YEAH~!!!!<br /><br />okie, some comic strips i generated from <a href="http://www.stripgenerator.com">www.stripgenerator.com</a><br />its lame but hey~! i never EVER said i was a comic artist~<br /><br />Part one...<br />Name Calling...<br /><a href="http://photobucket.com" target="_blank"><img alt="Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting" src="http://i60.photobucket.com/albums/h36/ajlestervan21/namecalling.jpg" border="0" /></a><br />Part Two:<br />Helping out...<br /><a href="http://photobucket.com" target="_blank"><img alt="Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting" src="http://i60.photobucket.com/albums/h36/ajlestervan21/helpinout.jpg" border="0" /></a><br />okie, so i am off...<br />SHEEP SHEEP~!<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/13718383-115340359373605814?l=ecstatic-euphoria.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>AJhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03423650476189484606noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13718383.post-1153316134064294842006-07-19T21:26:00.000+08:002006-07-19T21:36:52.696+08:00so its <span style="font-size:130%;color:#66ff99;"><strong>JY</strong> </span>and <span style="font-size:130%;color:#9999ff;"><strong>Nasha</strong></span>'s birthday...<br />HAH~! <strong>OLD</strong> already ah...<br />just a shout out to you both...<br />keep tryin to smile despite all the nonsense...<br />i love u guys...<br />somehow somewhere deep inside my cold little heart, there is a warm spot for each of you...<br />i mightn't show it much but you know i'll always be there in watever way i can...<br />run to me should u need a little bit of my sleeve to dab your tears...<br />*HUGGLESZzzzz~!!*<br /><br /><span style="font-size:280%;"><strong><span style="color:#ff0000;">H</span><span style="color:#ff9900;">A</span><span style="color:#ffcc66;">P</span><span style="color:#ffff00;">P</span><span style="color:#33ff33;">Y</span> <span style="color:#66cccc;">B</span><span style="color:#33ccff;">I</span><span style="color:#6666cc;">R</span><span style="color:#cc66cc;">T</span><span style="color:#ff6666;">H</span><span style="color:#ff9966;">D</span><span style="color:#ffff66;">A</span><span style="color:#66ff99;">Y</span><span style="color:#9999ff;"><span style="color:#9999ff;">~</span></span><span style="color:#ff99ff;">!</span></strong></span><br />+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++<br /><br />i had a free and easy day today...<br />did up my subject webs which is WAY WAY WAY over due...<br />and also did SOME of my lesson evaluations which are WAY WAY WAY WAYER overdue...<br />i hate to do paper work...<br />BleAhZZzz...<br /><br />okie so, i shall end here...<br />slp babies...<br />slp...<br /><br />and you...<br />iMISSyouYOUlittleTWERP...<br />itsBEENaMILLIONyearsSINCEiLASTsawYOU...<br />*GRRRR*<br />iLOVEyouMYhell'sANGEL...<br /><br />SHEEPsheepYOUguys...<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/13718383-115331613406429484?l=ecstatic-euphoria.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>AJhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03423650476189484606noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13718383.post-1153228167672951922006-07-18T20:59:00.000+08:002006-07-18T21:09:27.913+08:00the botanical gardens excursion was okie la...... PUI~!<br />i am slightly reddish now cuz of the bleeding hot sun...<br />GRRR~!!!<br />i am superly shagged now and i feel like cursing at someone now for being such a bitch...<br />if not cuz i have the hots for her, i would blast her with lotsa kinky sounding words in some dialect...<br /><br />but okie la, i did one ting, which is, to re-live my childhood...<br />i caught tadpoles~!!!<br />something i havent done in so long since singapore upgraded to pavements and grills...<br />*GibberiSh*<br /><br />okie, so i m off to catch more TV and slp...<br />and i am almost chilled from my anger...<br />YEAH~<br /><br />and just a lame joke i heard on tv today:<br />so 2 bananas were walking down the road...<br />then the banana in front felt hot so he took off his clothes...<br />and right after, the other banana slipped and fell...<br /><br />do u get the joke?<br />kkz... bye bye~!<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/13718383-115322816767295192?l=ecstatic-euphoria.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>AJhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03423650476189484606noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13718383.post-1153146672592897142006-07-17T21:03:00.000+08:002006-07-17T22:42:16.533+08:00i wish i had the words to tell u how much i hurt...<br />i wish i had the courage to say those words...<br />i wish i had the resolve to find that courage...<br />i wish i had the guts to search for tt resolve...<br /><br />i wish i were me again...<br />warm, loving, real, human...<br />i hate this cold lifeless facade...<br /><br />i wish i had the same courage i used to have..<br />the one tt helped me thru tough times..<br />the one tt helped my tears to dry...<br />the one tt helped my heart to heal..<br /><br />i have given up tryin...<br />i am just living this clock work life...<br />giving my time to spend in God's church...<br />mayb i'm still lost...<br />but at least i am lookin for a foot hold now...<br /><br />i still dun have the courage i used to have... but i am searching...<br />still searching... and hopefully, soon i will be able to find it...<br />+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++<br /><br />serene told me to <span style="color:#66ff99;">befriend him first before anything else</span>...<br />my retort was tt <span style="color:#ff6666;">he gives me the <em>kao du lan</em> look wenever i am around</span>...<br />she says <span style="color:#66ff99;">he is shy</span>...<br />i retorted by saying tt <span style="color:#ff6666;">ther</span><span style="color:#ff6666;">e was nothing to be shy about cuz wen he was tottering about in pampers, i was already ard... i am an old bird</span>...<br />she said <span style="color:#66ff99;">he needs time</span>...<br /><br />okie, i know i look very one kind wen i dun smile...<br />but beneath tt really one kind face, i am actually very nice...<br />i AM very nice...<br />i AM very sweet, very caring, very accomodating...<br /><br />but...<br />we'll see...<br />we'll see...<br />now i have something to get done...<br />and asking him questions thru someone whom he is not shy with will aid me<strong> AND</strong> him...<br />saves him the need to feel shy and saves me alot of time..<br />i dun really consider it burning bridges but wells, we all need time and time is wat we dun have very much of...<br /><br />okie, i gtg...<br />need more horizontal meditation cuz i have an excursion with the kids tml..<br />botanical gardens...<br />GAH~!<br /><br />hot, wet and sticky again...<br />i would much better enjoy it if it were in a different context with less people about...<br />i am no exhibitionist ya know~<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/13718383-115314667259289714?l=ecstatic-euphoria.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>AJhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03423650476189484606noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13718383.post-1153059505413985602006-07-16T21:15:00.000+08:002006-07-16T23:23:36.806+08:00i wish so much tt were true...<br />GRrr...<br />+++++++++++++++++++++++<br /><strong><u>moving on to a bitch post... </u></strong><br /><p>[EDITED: it was between naming the person and posting his picture, i chose naming him, but i shall not do so anymore, thus the edit... my conscience la~ i am too nice~! Fark~!<br />i shall call him Mr A instead~]</p><p>if the person in question reads it and takes offence PLEASE, by all means, feel free to approach me with all your holiness and explain your less than helpful actions...<br />and no, soccer, by any measure, should NOT be a valid excuse~!<br /><br />if the person in question's frens read it and wish to refer him here, go ahead... i would be more than pleased to hear his piece.<br /><br />and just a word because i know all them little snobs in Secondary school are capable of childish stuff:<br /><span style="color:#ff9966;">but please bear in mind that this blog is the personal space of a TWENTY THREEE(23) year old bitch and i HATE spam... so if u feel the need to tag me childish tags like: "go and die" or "fat bitch" or anything along those lines, please take my advice... <strong><u>Dun bother doin it</u></strong>. i will <strong>NOT</strong> be affected cuz i am way past tt stage and i am not a certain miss XX who takes offence at such stuff... and i am also capable of deleting all spam and watever nots u decide to leave behind tt is less than pleasin in my eyes...<br /></span><br />Forgive my caustic words for i am pissed... even after one whole damned day~!<br />feel free to question my assumptions, he isnt leaving very much room for me to assume better of him afterall...<br /><br />anyways, this post is for a certain <u><strong><span style="color:#66ff99;">Mr A</span></strong></u> whom i've really come to detest...<br />and detest, mind you, is an understatement...<br />with his snobbish look, i already disliked him and now, with his snobbish attitude, its been made worse...<br /><br />forgive me if i am not a whiz at IT but i am tryin...<br />and asking u the basic questions like web space and all i would presume, is nothing to you since u designed the really boring little old MCI website which u FAIL(ed) to update.<br />and considering uncle stephen is the one who pointed me to you for info, i was hopin you could have been a little more helpful considering you were the one who collaborated with the person who provided the web space and all... and also, becasue u are chummy-yummy with the youth pastor... i would have thought u would have learnt how to be a little more considerate and helpful AND discerning wen it comes to priorities...<br /><br />and no, dun get me wrong, i am not being picky...<br />let me now go on to exlpain my through dislike for this particular homosapien.<br /><br />i approached him while he was in the midst of a really kiddy soccer game, IE, it wasnt the usual gin-gang. so i called out to him, requesting for his very royal and "sought after" presence. i told him i would only need him for a while, and tt i could wait about a little bit for him to end the game...<br />and he acted like i was some unworthy peasant and didnt even turn to speak to me without huggin on to the ball like as if he lacked some himself~!<br /><br />i am sorry, but i would deem information sharing about a website for church a little more important than a soccer game/ ball considering he is always acting all holly-molly and all that jazz... AND also considering i am not one who would be the likely person u approch for church stuff these days, i should at least get some credit for TRYIN to help... in this case, credit would be appreciated in the form of a more helpful secondary school punk who thinks the world of himself~!<br /><br />and come on... u are neither Zizou nor beckham nor anyone of them players for the world cup so i see no reason y u canot put down the ball for a while and come over to help me... it would have taken u less than 5 mins to give me the info i needed.<br /><br />oh wells, so his highness just brushed me off and continued with this soccer game, whilst calling out to me (rather nonchalently) to look for uncle stephen instead... where upon tt little directional from him, i told him tt it was uncle stephen who told me to approach him...<br />no answer from him about tt, till today i am STILL waiting for his highness to let me in on this particular piece of directional...<br /><br />wells, because uncle stephen, who isnt a whiz at computers too, spoke to me about the website, he let me in on the fact tt it was Mr-A-I-Am-SO-BLOODY-Atas-L, who did up the previous website, much to my amusement considering fei and i attributed the layout to be the works of someone a little closer to the grave rather than that of a mere 15 year old boy acting like he owns the world~!<br />i would have thought tt with such an atas attitude, he would be able to concote something a little more "youth-y" lookin~! looks like i was wrong...<br /><br />so wells, i have to watch my words and watch my anger... cuz i have been reminded to be "quick to listen, slow to speak"... we'll see, we'll see... mayb i shall just act the poor lamb and cry to pastor AND/ OR uncle stephen about how unhelpful he was...<br /><br />*Childish screen play*<br /><br /><em><u>it would go something like this:</u></em><br />-seeing pastor and/or uncle stephen approaching-<br /><span style="color:#ff6666;">Me: OH WOe is Me~!</span><br />*falls to the floor and cries dramatically*<br />Pastor and/or Uncle Stephen: <span style="color:#9999ff;">Audrey~! oh no, what happened?</span><br />Me: <span style="color:#ff6666;">Oh (Pastor and/or Uncle Stephen), Mr A is such a sweet little thing but i somehow get the feeling he doesnt like me very much considering i flirted with Joshua and Ryan and (insert who ever else's name) but not him during the camp.</span><br /><span style="color:#ff6666;">and also cuz i have a talented brother and a talented father and also cuz i am talented... my whole family is talented... but that is just my assumption, i am not sayin it is true. he shoots daggers at me everytime he looks at me, and he pretended like he was happy tt i was back in church wen he MSN-ed Serene, oh, woe is me, i feel so disliked~!</span><br /><span style="color:#ff6666;">Oh, (Pastor and/or Uncle Stephen) Woe is ME~</span><br />Pastor and/or Uncle Stephen: <span style="color:#9999ff;">but y do u say that? do u have any proof?</span><br />Me: <span style="color:#ff6666;">i am not entirely sure, but he chose the soccer ball over me wen i tried to ask him for information about the church website which i want to help you guys to do... i am tryin my best to make it a little more attractive but he doesnt seem to want to help me... *Bawls uncontrollably, blows a hell load of snoot for greater effect*</span><br />------------------------------------------------------------------<br />and i shall leave the rest up to imagination...<br />Gah~! Bloody Atas ACS(i) boy...<br />Darned rite that school has a reputation for snobs and he is by FAR THE WORST ONE I HAVE EVER MET~!<br />even Samuel is not snobby...<br />least he hasnt gotten my goat yet...<br /><br />GRrr... okie, i shall have to end now.. my bed beckons my campany...<br />i shall now embarked on a journey with Mr Sandman~<br />++++++++++++++++++++++<br /><br />Fark the fact tt i love u so much tt i hate you... Blasted hell...<br />i woke up hating you... i KNOW its a passing phase...<br />and i hope it just stops at this and doesnt escalate into depression...<br /><br />i love u...<br /><a href="http://photobucket.com/" target="_blank"><img style="WIDTH: 221px; HEIGHT: 165px" height="334" alt="Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting" src="http://i60.photobucket.com/albums/h36/ajlestervan21/02072006001_1.jpg" width="478" border="0" /></a></p><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/13718383-115305950541398560?l=ecstatic-euphoria.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>AJhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03423650476189484606noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13718383.post-1152895597633694492006-07-15T00:45:00.000+08:002006-07-15T00:46:37.643+08:00and i have a heightened respect for my grandma...<br />she is such a gem and i almost teared in the care...<br /><br />i lcant say it more but i love my grnadma to bits and bits...<br />i love her love her love her~!<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/13718383-115289559763369449?l=ecstatic-euphoria.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>AJhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03423650476189484606noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13718383.post-1152863147729936332006-07-14T15:29:00.000+08:002006-07-14T15:48:10.753+08:00<div align="right">grandma is missed badly but i cant seem to find the resolve to go see her cuz its so painful for me to go see her cuz i know she has had one breast removed and she must be in some sorta pain but she is taking it all in like a brave little grandma so that we all wun worry for her... </div><div align="right"><br />it hurts me so much that i wana hug her but i dun dare to cuz i dun wana hurt her by accidentally pressing too hard against the wounds...<br /><br />haixxx she had the tubings removed already yesterday...<br />hopefully the stitches can be removed soon too... </div><div align="right">i love me grandma...</div><div align="right"></div><div align="left"><em><span style="color:#ffff66;">This is my little baby drinkin water...</span><br /></em><a href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/1807/188/1600/12-07-06_2338.jpg"><img style="FLOAT: left; MARGIN: 0px 10px 10px 0px; CURSOR: hand" alt="" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/1807/188/200/12-07-06_2338.jpg" border="0" /></a></div><div align="right"></div><div align="right">and mayb my mom thinks i am just being defiant by keeping the hamster in the house... little does she know, the hamster has become my companion in the middle of the night wen all is quiet and everyone's too tired to speak or listen to me anymore...</div><div align="right">mayb she tinks i am a little nutty but okie, watever... just as long as i get to keep baby with me, i dun care wat she thinks...</div><div align="right"></div><div align="right"></div><div align="right"></div><div align="left"></div><div align="left"></div><div align="left"></div><div align="left"> </div><div align="left"> </div><div align="left"> </div><div align="left"> </div><div align="left"> </div><div align="left"> </div><div align="left"><span style="color:#ffff66;"><em>And this is my little baby eating a piece of carrot...</em></span></div><div align="right"><div align="right"><a href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/1807/188/1600/12-07-06_2320.jpg"><img style="FLOAT: left; MARGIN: 0px 10px 10px 0px; CURSOR: hand" alt="" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/1807/188/200/12-07-06_2320.jpg" border="0" /></a></div>i love my hamster...</div><div align="right"></div><div align="right"></div><div align="right"></div><div align="right"></div><div align="right"></div><div align="right"></div><div align="right"></div><div align="right">so wells, the weekend's finally here...</div><div align="right">can sleep in tml... no need to wake up early... HAHA~!</div><div align="right">in fact, i feel like goin to slp now so i can sleep till tml...</div><div align="right">if for anything, just to catch up on my sleep...</div><div align="right">but the thing is, my aunt's here in Singapore so there is a dinner that i have to attend with her as a family tonite, it was an optional thing but WTH, i see her once or twice a year only cuz she resides in Malaysia so might as well meet her rite?</div><div align="right"></div><div align="right">okie la, i gotta go...</div><div align="right">hehe~! watch tv, mayb snooze a little...</div><div align="right"></div><div align="right">mood still sucks but i am surviving... sometimes i wana give everything up and just walk out, away from everyone...</div><div align="right">its so easy to just pick up and leave... the hard part thou, is leaving the people i care about behind...</div><div align="right">and the hardest part, is leaving him and never seein him again...</div><div align="right"></div><div align="right">i love u... and i cant say it enuff...</div><div align="right"></div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/13718383-115286314772993633?l=ecstatic-euphoria.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>AJhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03423650476189484606noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13718383.post-1152800663486920292006-07-13T20:44:00.000+08:002006-07-13T22:24:23.646+08:00Snitched this off Shareen... LOL~!<br /><br />Favourites.<br />Colour: Black, Blue, Red on clothes i wear.. the rest of the colours are generally also appreciated just not on clothes i wear...<br /><br />Food: Japanese, Western, Malay, Chinese Cuisine<br />Song: quite a number from HIM and Jay Chou and now, VANNESS AND KANGTA..<br />Movie: this is easy... Pretty Woman... i love tt movie to bits~!<br />Sport: Squash<br />Day of the week: Friday night and the whole of Saturday<br />Season: Winter<br />Ice Cream: Cookies and Cream<br /><br /><br />Currents.<br />Mood: Sick and tired and depressed but hiding it... (its my new hobby)<br />Taste: water?<br />Clothes: i like black stuff... anything black is good...<br />Desktop: My sexy frenster hottie... thinkin of chaging it to a pic of someone and i~!<br />Toe nail colour: dun fancy pedicures<br />Surroundings: the fan and other than tt, just silence<br />Annoyances: liars, evaluations~!<br />Thoughts: WEEKEND COMING~!!!<br /><br /><br />Firsts<br />Best Friend: she was from primary school... her name is Huang Hui Li<br />Crush: heh~ J**e C**n<br />Movie: Wah lau~! i duno man... <s>So long ago le, wen i was like a little kid still tottering about in pampers</s>... thou it wasnt long ago, i got short term memory la, so cant remember...<br />Lie: wah lau... i'm an ^angel^ man~!<br />Music: believe it or now, Rock and chinese pop songs... which is almost the same now la actually~!<br /><br /><br />Lasts.<br />Cigarette: are u tryin to get me into trouble? wat if someone nags at me about it?<br />Drink: Water<br />Car Ride: Cab? like a long time ago...<br />Crush: Crush? hehe~ the two girls mentioned loh...<br />Movie: honestly, i cant remember...<br />Phone Call: i called home...<br />CD played: Goo Goo Dolls...<br /><br /><br />Have you ever.<br />Dated one of your best friends: Nope...<br />Broken the law: Yeps<br />Been arrested: More or less<br />Skinny-dipped: NOPE~!<br />Been on TV: errss... i duno leh, tt is subjective...<br />Kissed someone you don't know: ya, some girl in a club, Devil's bar i think...<br /><br />5 things you are wearing: PE T-shirt, Bra, Shorts, Spectacles, Rings/ Earrings/ Necklaces... and yesh, Darned rite i am <strong><u>NOT</u></strong> wearing underwear~! HAHA~!<br />4 things you done today: Worked, Slept, Watched TV, sms-ed people, cooked Cream Cheese Pasta for myself again~!<br />3 things you can hear right now: the Fan's drooning, my typing, the still of the night<br />1 thing you do when you are bored: stone with my MP3 player plugged in...<br />+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++<br /><br />okie, so i am done, i am off to crash now...<br />its friday tomolo (Thank God...)<br />i cant wait for my day to end...<br /><br />then saturday will come *Does a jig*<br />guess why i am excited~!<br /><br />To My hell's angel:<br /><span style="color:#ff6666;"><em>i love u baby...</em></span><br /><span style="color:#ff6666;"><em>really..</em></span><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />and just on a side note, i love to just sit about and watch her teach with her broody attitude and mystery... haha... Crushes are so stupid... i mused a million times about how cute she looked today... i hope its just a passing phase...<br /><br />love sucks...<br />and i LOVE sucking~!<br />LOL~!<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/13718383-115280066348692029?l=ecstatic-euphoria.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>AJhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03423650476189484606noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13718383.post-1152716235714426842006-07-12T22:24:00.000+08:002006-07-12T22:57:15.950+08:00so wells, i got someone to change her blogskin cuz not only did she have paris-<em>i'm-so-slutty-</em>hilton prancing about, she also had paris's-<em>i-cant-sing-but-i-m-tryin-cuz-i-am-rich-enuff-to-blow-my-cash-on-CDS-tt-wun-sell</em> song, the stars are blind or something...<br />Yeah~! sure, the stars are blind part, i take...<br />but i can assure u the stars are not deaf...<br /><br />HAHA~! so yesh, wells, she changed her skin to mr orlando-<em>i-m-so-hawt</em>-bloom...<br />*GRinZzz*<br />so so SO much better aye girl?<br /><br />lol~! moving on...<br />wells, i slpt a good 10 hours last nite.<br />i was stoned as hell by 6 plus and i went to crash at about 7...<br />crashed on my brother's bed but i soon got chased out...<br />heh~ so i dragged myself onto my own bed and <strong>*PooF*</strong> i was gone...<br /><br />SHIOK MAN~!<br />if it were a weekend, i could go on sleeping somemore...<br /><br />okie, yesh, randomness again...<br />but at least i am not back at LJ..<br />not yet...<br />i am still tryin to keep everything together despite the really bad nite i had on sunday...<br />i would have blown my brains out if i were in america where guns were legal...<br /><br />and my little angel is really missed man...<br />i havent seen him in a million years...<br />i guess ttz wat the army does to people...<br /><br />and my hell's angel?<br />haiXzz... dun complain better...<br /><br />i duno y but i feel empty...<br />just empty...<br />and cuz of that emptiness, i did something farking dumb today...<br />i sorta hinted my interest in one of the 3 people at the said one of them...<br />Gah~!<br />kill me already kkz~!<br />i dun even know y i bother since i already know its taboo...<br /><br />taboo~!<br />i wana CLUB~!<br />GET DRUNK~!<br />PISS DRUNK~!!!<br />AND HAVE A BAD HANGOVER~!<br />hopefully i die from alcohol poisoning too~!<br /><br />LOL~!<br />i think too far too far...<br />i am stressed...<br />gettin a little nutty...<br />a little ballsey...<br />a little lovey dovey...<br />a little flirty...<br />a little lost...<br />a little empty...<br />a little depressed...<br />a little lost...<br />alot of pain...<br />alot of tears...<br />a game of hide and go seek...<br /><br />i wish i were 2 again, with no care in the world...<br />egocentric and developmentally immature...<br />craving for love as and wen, gettin the love i yearned by being cuddly with my blankie as and when i wanted...<br /><br />i could still carry my blankie about...<br />but i'd be damned to hell by every other normal person...<br /><br />my blankie, my comfort...<br />it soaked my tears, my fears...<br />i love my blankie. my grandma. my hell's angel.<br /><br />++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++<br />and the headlines would read:<br /><br /><u><strong></strong></u><u><strong><span style="font-size:130%;">Love was her reason</span></strong><br /></u><br /><u><em><span style="font-size:85%;">Sub-headline would be:</span></em></u><br /><u><em><span style="font-size:85%;"><br /></span></em>She plungeoned to her death from atop raffles hotel with her blanket, and two pictures in hand. One is of her grandmother and another of a malay male in his mid twenties who cannot be identified for privacy reasons.</u><br /><br />Close friends say she was seemingly fine even before the suicide took place. Her Blog though, would state otherwise. Her blog spoke of her emotions and very many posts spoke of her intent to take her life.<br /><br />Outside of her web persona though, she was a very cheerful and bubbly girl who was well liked by the children she taught at a government kindergarten near Jurong West. She always wore a smile and cracked jokes easily. Colleagues say she is like a beam of sunshine on a dark day, with a ready hug and smile for anyone or any child who felt down or just simply got out of bed on the wrong side.<br /><br />Although no one knows of any one specific reason to theorise why she would take her life just like that, there are a few reasonsthat can be found from her blog that might explain why this would have happened.<br /><br />It seems, her grandmother had just underwent a masectomy and her blog suggests that she might be overly worried and saddened. This was because she was close to her grandmother. This might also explain the picture of her grandmother which she held so close to her heart when she took the jump.<br /><br />Yet another theory suggests that she might have had a misunderstanding with someone she has fancied for a long time, thus the picture of the male which she held just as close.<br /><br />Both her grandmother and the male could not be contacted for comments.<br /><br />++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++<br /><br />okie, sheep sheep...<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/13718383-115271623571442684?l=ecstatic-euphoria.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>AJhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03423650476189484606noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13718383.post-1152613661997297202006-07-11T17:55:00.000+08:002006-07-11T18:37:01.870+08:003 single and ALMOST eligible people...<br />2 of which, are female...<br />and the last, THANK GOD, is straight...<br />all of which are my frens...<br /><br />now, here's the mathematical part:<br />i have taken an interest in all three...<br />2 of which i cant let on about my interest in them simply because of circumstance...<br />and if religion and work ethics are not a good enuff excuse, i duno wat is anymore...<br />the one tt is left, however, is a fren, someone whom i treasure alot and see as a pillar of support..<br />he is like a soulmate...<br />sweet and uberly encouraging...<br />and if not cuz shareen commented about us (and fadhil's comments later on too), i doubt i would have paid any attention to him...<br />yet, i cant seem to find any place in my heart to want to accept him...<br /><br />wells, even so, i am more inclined to tryin to get the one at work but ARGH~!!!<br />imagine this:<br />u walk into class as a Kindergarten kid and u see two of your teachers emerging from the toilet all hot, wet and sticky... wat the fark are u gona think?<br />GRrr~!<br /><br />and somehow, i hate this..<br />i am reverting back to my secondary school ways of being eternally flowery and uncontrollable...<br />i dun like being there... cuz i would like to maintain some sorta stability in my life since i am already out in the working world...<br />and it isnt exactly rite for me, being in this line of work, to bat for the same sex...<br />and especially a fellow colleague...<br />ttz like a DEFINITE NO-NO~!<br /><br />and oh wow~! look, the other one just logged on to MSN~!<br />ARGHHHHhhhh~!!<br /><u>Will YOU be my GirlFriend? i'll make u cream pasta~!</u><br /><em>do u even like cream pasta~?!</em><br />and this is really public and u probably wouldnt even know i am talking about u... then again, mayb u arent tt blur...<br />wells, if u think i am talking about u, and u are willing to give this a shot, u can always ask me...<br />over MSN, over SMS, face to face...<br />i leave it to u...<br /><br />and erRr shareen, *smirks* no cream pasta for u...<br />who ask u not to let me touch your boobies~?!<br />HAHA~!<br /><br />okie, i am uberly tired... sleepy...<br />so off i go...<br />SHEEP SHEEP~!!!<br /><br /><br />on a side note: i craved cream pasta on the way home and cuz i am STILL uber broke, i couldnt afford to go to pasta mania to satisfy my craving unless i stayed behind to wash plates or serve time in a little cell, so i settled for the next best thing...<br />i made me cream cheese pasta~!!!<br />Yummylicious~! *GrinZzzzz*<br /><br />oh, and on another side note before i truly end: i was walking into my condo and back towards my place wen some indian worker walked past me and greeted my boobs a nice smiley teethy: "HELLO~!"<br />i was like O_0WTF~!!!!<br />*Grrr...*<br />do my boobs look like they would accept greetings from anyone?<br />Uhh... they might stick out a tad bit too far but they are in no way friendly...<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/13718383-115261366199729720?l=ecstatic-euphoria.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>AJhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03423650476189484606noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13718383.post-1152547320303077932006-07-10T23:56:00.000+08:002006-07-11T00:02:00.326+08:00home again.<br /><br />your smile.<br />your voice.<br />your patience.<br />your softness.<br />your hands.<br />your smell.<br />your laughter.<br />your stories.<br />your insults.<br />your humour.<br /><br />you...<br />your love...<br /><br />u never show love...<br />never...<br />u never speak of love...<br />never...<br />but its there...<br />somewhere deep in your heart...<br /><br />and i am glad u're fine now...<br /><br /><br /><br /><br />u and i will never need a reason for my undying love for you..<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/13718383-115254732030307793?l=ecstatic-euphoria.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>AJhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03423650476189484606noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13718383.post-1152467586053074102006-07-10T01:08:00.000+08:002006-07-10T02:36:02.740+08:00the call of night's darkness and evilness creep up on me once again...<br />urging me to take that step backwards and to revert to my old ways...<br />where the only way out is deemed the easiest way...<br /><br />i repeatedly inflict wound after wound on myself to feel human again.<br />to scream into tears of pain and anguish at the emotional stabs over and over again.<br />to whince for a while as the skin spilts and the red sticky liquid spills over onto foreign terrain.<br />to smell the iron in the air.<br />to taste the liquid tt brings life to my body.<br /><br />my soul's been trapped.<br />hidden in a cell at the bottom of this cold hardened ice block.<br />it screams to get out, for freedom to be bestowed upon it.<br />a free flow of tears as its release was granted.<br /><br />word after word, stab after stab, slash after slash and soon i was no more.<br />i have become a stone, someone who judged, who put herself way above others, who made herself queen of her world, of her frens, of her enemies, of her everything.<br /><br />no one saw the ice queen melting in her own chambers at night.<br />no one noticed the gleam of sadness and coldness behind her smile.<br />no one heard the sobbings behind her laughter.<br />no one saw her tears of pain and anguish wenever her back was turned.<br /><br />she treasures every moment spent with him more than anyone ever would.<br />she loves him more than anyone ever would.<br /><br />she is the queen of her world, everyone was thrash...<br />or so he thought of her.<br /><br />he never understood why she judged, why she was harsh.<br />he never knew that that was how she protected herself.<br />he never knew that that was how she made sense of her hardened heart.<br /><br />a heart that loves should be warm.<br />but that is only in theory.<br />for this heart that loves has turned cold over the course of time and now, all that this heart is capable of, is keeping frozen in time a love that was once the drive of her life, the force of her soul, the life giver of her actions and smiles and laughter.<br /><br />she ached as word after word was spoken and she ached wen he denounced everything they ever built together.<br />she broke.<br />and every resolve she once had was now in shambles on the ground.<br />a heap of rubble, pieces of her heart, her soul...<br />drips of her life force all over the ground below.<br /><br />and soon the tears flowed like it hasnt flowed in months now..<br />the heartaches and angst hidden over time came rushing out like a dragon out of its dungeons, being flown into battle.<br />and this once dormant heart felt all its emotions for that period in time and she cried the longest and hardest she has cried in months.<br /><br />he hurt her with his words like she hurt him with hers.<br />she meant no malice.<br />guilt, guilt is subjective.<br />guilt makes people crazy.<br />guilt made her mad.<br />guilt at loving such an illusive soul.<br />guilt at tryin to be who she always wanted to be.<br />guilt at still holding on to him with all her strength and might and wats left of her power.<br />guilt at loving him so much...<br /><br />guilt kept the queen from calling him.<br />guilt kept the queen from chasing after him.<br />guilt kept the queen from occupying his time.<br />guilt kept the queen from loving him like how she felt.<br />guilt's guilty conscience injected pain into every vein.<br /><br />and as guilt coursed thru all her veins, that was how she hardened.<br />refusing to let anyone else break thru this hardened heart.<br />no longer loving as she normally would.<br />no longer cherishing people as she usually could.<br />everything was just a facade now.<br />everything was blamed for her situation.<br />she rejected and pushed aside all form of emotion.<br />superficiality was wat she coverted now.<br /><br />this ice queen refused to admit that if anyone was to blame, it was herself.<br /><br />he was her knight.<br />the one who made everyone else pale in comparison.<br />he was her knight.<br />the one whom she loved with all her humanly heart could feel.<br />he was her knight.<br />the one whom she hid all her fears from.<br /><br />he was her knight.<br />he was still her knight.<br />he is still her knight.<br />he will still be her knight.<br />he will always and forever be her knight.<br /><br />night.<br />knight.<br />her fetish for all things dark.<br />her fetish for gore.<br />her fetish for blood.<br />her crave for pain.<br /><br />her need to feel the dark surrounding her as she fiddles with gore, inficting pain on herself and extractin the blood that flows thru her zombied body.<br />+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++<br /><br /><span style="color:#ff6666;">i am sorry, i never meant to hurt u.<br />i love u.<br />u know i treasure u too...<br />and u know that i am more afraid of losing u than u are of losing me.</span><br /><br />"<span style="color:#ff6666;">Can you forgive me again?</span><br /><span style="color:#ff6666;">I don't know what I said<br />But I didn't mean to hurt you</span><br /><br />I heard the words come out<br />I felt that I would die<br /><span style="color:#ff6666;">It hurts so much to hurt you</span><br /><br />Then you look at me<br />You're not shouting anymore<br />You're silently broken<br /><br />I'd give anything now<br />To kill those words for you<br /><br /><span style="color:#ff6666;">Each time I say something I regret<br />I cry, I don't want to lose you<br />But somehow I know that you will never leave me<br /></span><br /><span style="color:#ff6666;">Cause you were made for me<br />Somehow I'll make you see<br />How happy you make me<br />I can't live this life<br />Without you by my side<br />I need you to survive<br /></span><br /><span style="color:#ff6666;">So stay with me<br /></span><span style="color:#ff6666;">You look in my eyes and I'm screaming inside<br />That I'm sorry</span><br /><br /><span style="color:#ff6666;">And you forgive me again<br />You're my one true friend<br />And I never meant to hurt you</span>"<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/13718383-115246758605307410?l=ecstatic-euphoria.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>AJhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03423650476189484606noreply@blogger.com0